It's hard letting go

I'm finally at peace but it feels so wrong

Slow I'm getting up

My hands and feet are weaker than before

And you are folded on the bed

Where I rest my head

There's nothing I can see

Darkness becomes me

But I'm already there, I'm already there

Wherever there is you

I will be there too

-0-

As soon as the phone cut of and she no longer heard Tommy's panicked voice, Sarah immediately felt a wave of dread wash over her. She slowly stood up, rubbed her tired eye's and headed out of her bedroom to find her father and tell him what just happened.

She opened her door and shivered at the cold air that hit her. He must of left a window open or something. "Dad?" she called out, hoping for a response. When none came, she ventured further down the hall and called out again. She flinched as soon as she turned the corner as a bright light hit her slowly adjusting eye's. She squinted to get a better look and saw it was coming from her dad and Jessie's room

"Daddy?" Sarah said much quiet than the previous times, just now realising that she may wake up Jessie accidentally with all her yelling

"You in here?" She asked as she pushed the door open.

He wasn't

She walked toward's the crib that was at the foot of his messy bed and peeked in. Jessie was still sleeping in the same position she was in from when Sarah put her down around 5 or so hours ago

Sarah looked up at the TV and watched the news report curiously. Strange; Dad never watches the news. Someone probably told him to. Maybe it was Tommy

"We need to move everyone out of here now, there's a gas leak" A fireman appeared on the screen and tried ushering the news lady away. But she didn't budge, obviously wanting to continue with her report. Something about a pandemic. 'Probably just another case of Swine Flu' Sarah thought

Sarah almost dropped to the ground after the shock wave that hit her. She looked up and saw the explosion's on TV, then she looked out the window and saw the explosion's downtown. She knew it was nearby

Some case of swine flu...

She walked over to Jessie's crib and picked up the now sobbing 2 year old that had just been woken from her sleep "Shh. It's okay" Sarah told her softly, resting Jessie on her hip. Jessie tilted her head and rested it in the crook of Sarah's neck and shoved her thumb in her mouth, hoping that she could maybe fall asleep like this

Sarah retreated out of her dad's room and called for him again and again "Where is he?" she asked Jessie who just mumbled tired gibberish

She walked down stair's and watched the flash of red and blue that zoomed past the living room window "what is going on?" she said in something quieter than a whisper.

Sarah sat Jessie down on top of the kitchen counter where they keep various reminder type thing's and picked up the phone that was spread among the pile. It was her father's phone "8 missed calls... Where are you?... on my way?" she sat the phone back down, taking note that the time was 02:15. That means she went to bed about an hour ago. Time really does fly

"C'mon baby girl" Sarah said, hoisting Jessie back up to her hip

Sarah walked into her dad's office after seeing that the sliding door was open. She felt the cold breeze hit her and she felt Jessie hold onto her more tightly, trying to steal some of her big sister's body heat

She jumped back when he dad came running in, looking frantic and flustered. Honestly, he looked like he had just run a marathon "There you are" Sarah pointed out as he slammed the door closed and stared out as if he was looking for something

"Sarah... are you alright? And Jessie?"

"Yeah, we're fine dad... what's going on?"

"Has anyone come in here?" he asked her, going over to his desk and rummaging around

"No..." She adjusted Jessie on her hip "Who would come in here?"

"Dont go near the doors!" Joel turned his head to look at her. Then he turned back around and pulled out a small box from one of the draws and started fiddling around inside it "Just stand back there with your sister"

"You're kinda freakin' me out dad" Sarah informed him. She still hadn't gotten a simple answer yet to her question. "what's going on?" she asked again

"It's the Cooper's" Joel lifted up what seemed to be a gun and started loading it up with bullet's "Something aint right with them. I think they're sick"

"What kinda sick?" Sick like what the news reporter said before the explosion?

Joel didn't have time to answer his eldest daughter before Jimmy Cooper - his next door neighbour, whom just this morning was talking about having a barbeque for the whole neighbour hood - slammed himself into the door making all sorts of weird noises

"JIMMY!" Joel yelled

"Dad" Sarah called out, taking a step back and tightening her grasp on Jessie who was starting to shake out of fear of the unknown

"Honey, come here" Joel walked toward's his daughter's and held them behind his back and held up is pistol to Jimmy who was still slamming himself into the door, trying to break it down

Which he finally did

"Jimmy, JUST STAY BACK!" Joel warned him, taking the safety off and steadying his aim. But Jimmy didn't listen. Even covered in glass shard's that were poking out of his skin, Jimmy still ran at them "DONT!" Joel yelled as he got close enough to grab them. Joel closed his eye's, turned away and then fired 3 bullet's into Jimmy's chest, bringing him down for good

"Oh my god" Sarah whimpered, seeing the corpse of Mr. Cooper. He was a nice guy, his son Walter sometimes came around for dinner and Sarah would sometimes go over there. Jimmy was always so friendly to her and even bought her a band shirt for her birthday

"Go, go, go" Joel said, grabbing his youngest daughter to hold for himself "Sarah hurry" he urged his oldest daughter who was following close behind as they made there way through their house

"You shot him" Sarah stuttered, stopping in the middle of the living room. Joel turned around to look at her. He sighed and stepped closer and placed his wrist on her shoulder. It was the best he could do since he was holding a gun AND a toddler

"Listen Sarah-"

"I saw him this mornin'" she interrupted

"Listen to me, there is something very bad goin' on. We have got to get outta here do you understand?"Sarah sniffed and nodded

"Tommy..." Joel saw the light's climbing up the back wall. He turned and saw Tommy's car pull into the driveway, his headlights as bright as ever "C'mon" he ushered her again as he made his way quickly toward's the front door

"Where the hell you been?" Tommy bombarded Joel as soon as he stepped out onto his porch "You have any idea bout what's going on out there?"

"I got some notion" Joel said coldly. He placed the gun in his back pocket and used his now free hand to open the back door of his brother's car and helped Sarah get in. Then, he closed the door for her and pulled himself into the passenger seat and pulled the seatbelt over him and Jessie who was sitting on his lap

"Holy shit" Tommy muttered, looking at his brother "You got blood all over you" He pointed out. Joel looked down and noted at all the crimson splotches that covered most of his shirt and the top portion of his jeans. It was Jimmy's blood

Jimmy...

"It aint mine" he said, a slight darkness to his voice. He killed James Cooper. Jimmy Cooper was never going to walk the earth again, never going to hug his wife or two children because Joel shot him.

It was either him or me He reminded himself

Leaning over, Joel yanked the car door closed. Tommy started up the car and the four Texan's drove away from their family home without a single goodbye, not knowing that it would be the last time they saw the place for a very long time. They drove mostly in silence, every now and again Tommy would ask how Sarah was doing and he would say words to Jessie who was still in Joel's lap, playing with her father's fingers

"Holy hell" Said Tommy, his mouth gaping. The three looked out the window and towards the burning farmhouse "That's Louis' farm" Louis was a quiet man; kept to himself. He had two daughter's and a son who was a couple years older than Sarah. The two daughter's were off at college in another state. God only know's if they're alright. "I hope that son of a bitch made it out"

"Are we sick?" asked Sarah. Jimmy seemed fine this morning and he was sick. She felt fine but she might not later. She had to know if it was possible

"No, they're saying only people in the city are so we're fine" answered Tommy

"Jimmy worked in the city... " She said sadly, looking down at her lap

"That's right, he did" Replied Joel bluntly. He had to stop thinking about it since the more he did the more bad he might feel. It wasn't Jimmy and he had to start remembering that

They went on with the drive in silence one again. No one daring to say anything in fear of angering or upsetting one another. This whole ordeal was just too much to take in and none of them really knew how to handle it. Tommy spotted a family at the side of the raod and would of pulled over to help them but Joel told him to keep driving

"They have a kid Joel" Tommy pointed out, shocked by his brother's response

"Yeah, well we have two" He said grimly, looking down at Jessie who was staring out the window with wide eye's, watching the tree's fly by "Someone else will come along" He assured his younger brother

"Oh this is bad..." Said Tommy, gulping as the car came to a stop behind a line of other cars the stretched for miles. They had planned to take this route as it was quicker but it seemed every and their mothers had the same idea

"We could maybe backtrack an-"

"HEY WHAT THE FUCK MAN?!" a man they didn't recognize got out of his car and started yelling at the car infront of him. He must of had enough sitting there without moving

Joel found his grip tightening on Jessie and even pulled her closer to him as someone or... something attacked the man. It pushed him into the car and started ripping the flesh from him "Holy shit. Turn us around" Joel said quietly "Tommy" he said again when his brother didn't reply "TOMMY FUCKING DRIVE" He yelled

"Holy shit" Said Tommy, panicked as he shifted the car and slammed the pedal's, causing the car to zoom backwards. He shifted again and this time the car raced forward in another direction and the thing that had been eating the man and trying to get to them crashed into Sarah's window, causing her to let out a squeak

"Turn here turn here" Ushered Joel, pointing to a turning that would lead them down Jackson Street. Tommy turned the car and slammed the brakes when he say the large amount of people running towards them

"C'mon people, move" Tommy uttered as he slowly drove forward, trying not to hit anybody

"What are they running from?" Asked Sarah who was growing more scared as the seconds ticked by. No one answered except Jessie who responded with random words that didn't make sense after hearing her sister's voice

"We can't stop here"

"Well I can't drive threw 'em Joel!"

"WELL BACK UP THEN!"

"There behind me too!" The two siblings bickered

"There! There!" Joel pointed to an opening and Tommy nodded and drove threw it which led into an empty street. They were relieved as it seemed to be a straight shot from here to the bridge that would allow them out of Austin and hopefully to somewhere safer

"LOOK OUT!" Called Sarah, pushing herself backwards away from the window as a truck bigger than Tommy's rushed down the hill they were passing and crashed straight into them. The pick-up flipped over onto it's side, Throwing all of its passenger's

Jessie cried at the pain and tried to grab her dad. Sarah sat herself up and looked over "Shh it's okay" she hushed the little girl, noticing the few scratches on her face. Thank god it wasn't anything to severe "Daddy" she shook her father's shoulder, trying to wake him up "Dad" she said again when he groaned

"I'm okay, i'm okay" he reassured her before pulling Jessie close to his chest so he could kick the window on the car door. Jessie was still crying but not as much when Joel was pulling them both out of the wreckage

Tommy had managed to get out and he hadn't been as quick as he was, one of those things would of gotten Joel and Jessie. He smashed it in the face with a brick, taking it down straight away. Tommy and Joel shared a brotherly look that told each other they were okay. He took hold of Jessie so Joel could get Sarah

"I'm here baby, alright? Give me your hand" He kneeled down and extended his hand toward's her. Sarah pulled herself forward and around the chair so she was in the front row. She reached to take her father's hand but when she put some weight on her leg she fell forward "What is it?" he asked, holding onto her arms

"My leg hurt's" she informed him, wincing when she tried to move it

"How bad?"

"Pretty bad"

Tommy walked backwards, still holding onto Jessie. He could hear the yells of those things and the noise was getting closer "We gotta get outta here" he told the two "and we're gonna need to run"

"Oh god" Joel breathed out as he pulled his gun from the back of his jean's and handed it to Tommy "You think you can handle that and Jessie?" he asked as he picked Sarah up bridal style

"Yeah"

"Keep us safe" Tommy nodded and they all took off, running down the street. Tommy managed the toddler and the gun, though it wasn't a great combo. Jessie would try and grab the weapon and since Tommy couldn't yell at her to stop, he had to move it out of the way which almost resulted in Jessie being grabbed since the gun wasn't in the right direction to shoot the monster. Thankfully, he was able to in time and when the gun fired it scared Jessie enough that she decided to stop trying to touch it

They turned down the street after a car drove into the gas station, blowing it up. They felt the gust of wind that followed. It was hot and burned their skin slightly but not enough to leave a mark. They ran down the new street, Armadillo's Theatre was at the very end. They had been there a couple times. Last month, Sarah dragged Joel there to go see 'Dawn Of The Wolf' it was some stupid teen's movie but if Sarah liked it then so did he

A car then drove into the door's of it, setting it on fire also. The fire and the car blocked off the end of the street and caused Joel and Tommy to come to a halt "THIS WAY!" Yelled Tommy, running towards an alley. Tommy pushed the gate open and allowed Joel and Sarah to pass through before he closed it again

A monster scrambled to it's feet and jumped at Joel but Tommy kicked it down before it did any damage "Hold on" he told Jessie quietly as he stepped on the monster's chest and shot it in the head. Jessie tightened her grip on her uncle and buried her face in his chest. She was young but she was starting to understand that she should be scared

"THEY'RE GETTING THROUGH THE FENCE" he called back. The things were pulling at the fence's, trying to get close to them. He hoped to god they weren't clever enough to climb over

They ran into the back of Pete's Diner/Bar. It was a great place owned by a great guy. Joel ran in first and then Tommy who slammed the door closed and held onto it with his only free hand "GO!" He yelled at his brother "Get to the highway!"

"What?"

"Go- You got Sarah!" He looked down at Jessie "I'll protect her" he promised his brother

"I'll meet you there" Yelled Joel before running off. Tommy looked down at Jessie and as best as he could, lowered her to the ground. She learned to walk from an early age thank god

"Let's play Hide and Seek. You go Hide and I'll come find you in ten second's okay?" He whispered. Jessie nodded and ran off and hid behind the bar. Tommy looked back at the door and began counting out loud. He opened the door slightly and started taking out the monster's one by one all while still counting. By the time he reached ten, all the monster's that had been chasing them were now sprawled out on the marble floor, surrounded by a pool of blood

He walked behind the bar, knowing that's where she ran to. He lowered his body and placed his hands on his knee's "Found you" he said softly, lookign at Jessie who was sitting, back up against the bar with her knees up to her chest and her hands over her eye's. She was using the logic of 'I can't see you so you can't see me'

"Jessie" he said again, this time with a little more seriousness to his tone. They had to leave here now. Jessie took her hands away and giggled before standing up and running over. Tommy wrapped his arms around her and lifted her up "Let's go find your daddy"

Tommy walked out the front door, gun ready. A part of the brick wall had been knocked out so he decided to go that way. It would save him having to go all the way round. He jumped down and began walking down the muddy trek. It used to be used as a short cut to get to the highway since the other way lead to Union street and if you took that way you had to walk all the way around to get the highway which would of been an extra 30 minutes

They passed a crashed ambulance on the way and Tommy had no idea how it could of gotten there since there was no raod for a car to come up unless it fell from the small cliff above it. He only started running when he heard gun shot's

"oh no" he muttered, speeding up when he saw his brother and niece falling gown the hill. He raised his gun and fired at the soldier who was aiming his own weapon at his brother. "JOEL!" He called, hoping to get an answer that would confirm that he wasn't hurt

"Oh no..." He didn't allow his brother to finish as Sarah's whimper's pulled him away. He lowered his gun and his face dropped. Joel turned and looked over at his eldest daughter who was laying on the ground with her hands holding tightly over her stomach where a large patch of blood stained her shirt

"Sarah" he pulled her on to his lap and Sarah grabbed at his shoulder and winched when he tried to move her hands "I know it hurt's baby" he tried to sound calm for her but he couldn't. His voice was breaking and deep down he knew there was no saving her. He pushed his hand's down on her wound, not giving up even though he knew the outcome "Listen to me Sarah...You're going to be okay baby, stay with me" He took one hand off and put it under her neck so he could lift her up more "I know baby I know" Her painful cries then stopped completely "Sarah..." Joel looked back at Tommy who was on his knee's, one hand still holding onto Jessie who was clueless to her sister's death "Baby. Don't do this to me baby" He lowered his head towards her and lowered his voice so only she could hear "Don't do this to me baby girl... please. C'mon..." Tommy tried to put his hand on Joel's shoulder but he pushed it away as he rocked his daughter "Please, god"

~20 YEARS LATER~

Joel woke up with a gasp as the door knocked. He had self taught himself to wake up to loud noises since he used to be a heavy sleeper. It was a skill you needed in this world because if you couldn't you died. He pulled his hands down his face and groaned. Another reason he woke up so fast was because of what happened while he slept. He hated bad dreams

He looked at the couch and sighed when he learned that Jessie wasn't there and instead of his daughter was a note. He pulled himself out of his bed and walked over to pick it up

Went to help Tess with the drop ~Jessie

He shook his head and threw the note back on the couch before walking over to the door which was banging louder than ever now because of how long it took him to answer. He opened the door and in strode Tess who didn't even look at him

"Where's Jessie?" He asked her, looking behind her body to see if his daughter would walk in after her

"She wen't to town" She stated. Tess walked straight to the table and picked up a bottle of Whiskey that Jessie had acquired from a friend. Said she won a bet and that was her prize. That bottle has probably been sitting there for a couple week's now

"I have some interesting news for you" She stated, swiveling the liquid in her glass

Why?" He demanded, walking closer to her. It was suppose to be him and Tess making the drop not Tess and Jessie

She took a drink from her glass "Hey we had a drop to make" Tess informed him

"We. We had a drop to make"

"Yeah well you wanted to be left alone remember and Jessie wanted to help so I let her" She grabbed the rag from the table and started dabbing at the injury on her face

"Let me take a guess at what happened. The whole deal went south and the client made of with our pills"

Tess laughed and sat her drink down and brought the rag away from her face "Deal went off without a hitch" She stood up and pulled some cards out of her pack pocket "Enough ration card's to last us a month - easy" Ration card's were important. If you didn't have them, you didn't eat; simple

"You wanna explain this" He motioned to her eye

"We were on our way back and got jumped by a couple assholes, alright?"

"She okay?"

"Yeah I'm fine thanks for asking" She said sarcastically. Joel narrowed his brow's and Tess sighed "A split lip and a black eye, nothing she can't handle"

"Jesus" he breathed out, crossing his arms over his chest "These asshole's still with us or did she kill them?"

"You think I'd let her do that? Now that's funny" Joel took the rag from her hand and began dabbing at her wound instead since she wasn't doing much

"You find out who they were?"

"Yeah, they were a couple of nobodies who don't matter. What does matter is that Robert fucking sent them"

"Our Robert?" he asked

"He know's that we're after him. He figures he's gonna get us first"

"That son of a bitch..." Joel threw down the rag "He's smart"

"No" Tess walked over "He's not smart enough. I know where he's hiding"

"Like hell you do"

"Old Warehouse in area 5. Can't say for how long though"

"Well I'm ready now. Yeah?"

"Oh I can do now"

I didn't mean for this chapter to be so long, SORRY!

So yeah this is the first chapter to my story and it pretty much follow's the story line of TLOU with my character 'Jessie' who we will see more of next chapter (That's if you want this to continue)

So Follow/Favourite if you want to see more and PM/Review to tell me what you Like/Didn't like about this chapter or the story in general

Till next time folks

~Erin