Loud music poured from the speakers of Madison Square Garden. I let the music carry my hips back and forth.
[ outgoing text ; S. Morgenstern ] I'm by the stage on the left I think the concert is about to end we should go.
When the concert ended and the streets were flooded with people it was easy for a thief to steal someone's bag. Luckily I had my knife on me and just as I heard the last notes of Lana Del Ray's song I made my way out of the concert hall and texted my boyfriend.
[ incoming text ; S. Morgenstern ] I'll be waiting by the exit.
I hurried to the exit as best I could, I'd had several drinks so my footsteps were a little unsure. Soon enough I see him, he's standing there with a black fitted cap, dark wash skinny jeans and an LRG hoodie.
"How'd you do tonight?" I ask him as he steps into the throng of gathering people with me, the exit of the Garden forming a kind of bottleneck.
"Good. I've got so much money I'm running out of room in my pockets." He seemed happy, giddy even but then again he was high as a kite.
"Do you have any left over?" I ask him, I reach out and take his hand as we cross the street and head toward the subway.
"Why? Do you want some?" He says, grinning at me.
"I wouldn't be adverse to trying some." I say, giving him a playful smile.
He stops on the sidewalk and we huddle towards the building facing the sidewalk. I look at him expectantly, hoping he'll give me a bump of the molly I know he has in his pocket right now. Instead he starts twisting up some very loud** weed into a blunt wrap. "That's not what I meant Sebastian!" I inhale and mutter, "For fuck's sake, could that be any louder?"
"Probably not but it's good shit." He takes out a bag of tobacco and mixes it in with the weed before finishing off rolling up the weed. "It won't be so loud this way."
We walk down the street a little further and he flame licks and then lights the blunt with his zippo. We pass it back and forth between us on the New York City street and no one is any the wiser that I am currently higher than a kite and drunk as a skunk. All around it's a good time. By the time we get to the subway I'm tripping over myself a little so Sebastian has taken my hand and we go down the steps a little more surely.
The subway drops us off in Brooklyn and we have a pretty uneventful ride. I sat on Sebastian's lap the whole way.
It's just a short walk from the subway to Jace's house so as we come up out of the subway I ask Sebastian, "Can I borrow your lighter?"
He hands me his zippo and I light up a cigarette. He hates that I smoke and that's his problem, smoking chills me out, gives me time to think. We stand outside Jace's brownstone while we both finish smoking our cigarettes and he flicks the roach from our blunt into the summer grass. When we're done we walk in, take our shoes off and I take out my perfume from my bag and begin spraying myself. I hand Sebastian his cologne and he sprays himself too while he's still in the foyer. We hear a wheelchair inching towards us.
"Hey guys. Don't bother with the spray." He coughs, "Jesus Christ what have you guys been smoking?"
"Dank." Sebastian replies, leaning down and kissing our boyfriend on the cheek.
"How'd you do?" Jace asks. He's wearing a navy blue wife beater and silver basketball shorts. He's got a beer in his hand and despite the fact that it's nearly midnight he seems wide awake. I lean down and kiss him on the lips, tasting the Blue Moon beer he favors heavily.
"Good you want to help me count?" Sebastian asks.
"Oh let me help count the money!" I say. He never lets me touch his money and I hate it.
"Fine Red, get over here." Sebastian says laying out three piles of crinkled money. Jace pulls up in his wheelchair and begins straightening out his bills. I do the same but I do it while I count. It takes me a few minutes but after double counting the notes I think he's got nine hundred and ninety dollars in this one stack.
"How much did you get?" I ask Jace.
"Eleven hundred dollars even," he replies
We switch off piles and I double count Jace's pile.
"I got eleven hundred too." I say to them.
"There was twenty two hundred in my pile." Sebastian says. Indeed, his pile is about three times the height of mine and I quickly recount his money and begin ordering them into thousand dollar stacks. He's raised nearly forty-three hundred dollars in one night. That will pay nearly all our expenses for the month, not including Sebastian's re-up**.
"How's the pain today?" Sebastian asks Jace.
"Not awful. The phantom limb pains are what's making me crazy." Sebastian dug in his pocket and handed Jace a baggie of pills. "Those are for you. Keep them somewhere safe. I wanted you to have a stash of pills in case the pain came back as bad as it has been."
"Thanks, man." Jace said pushing the pills into his pocket. "I have an appointment to see if I can get the bandages off this damn thing tomorrow. Clary, can you drive me?"
"What time is it? I've got to work the open. Which means we should probably get to bed soon."
"It's not until three in the afternoon, so no worries there." Jace says.
"Ok boys let's go to bed."
Four in the morning came all too fast, it felt like I'd barely laid my head down when my alarm went off. Jace groaned in bed next to me and pulled me closer. "Babe I got to get up."
"Can't you call in sick?" Jace groans.
"Turn off that alarm!" Sebastian growls from beside me.
"Sorry Seb." I turn off my alarm and slip out of bed, heading towards the shower. I turn on the shower and wait for the water to steam up the room. It's almost physically painful to be up this early. My body is screaming to go back to bed. Finally, the old hot water heater delivers warm water to the shower and I slip into our shower stall.
The hot water soothes my mind and I nearly fall back asleep in the shower. However, I have made provisions in case that had happened and my alarm starts playing screamo music at me. I can hear Jace grumbling over the music and I get out and turn it off.
Dressed in only a towel I exit the bathroom and wonder why Starbucks needs to be open this early. I pull on a short sleeved polo and khaki dress pants. Starbucks has a pretty strict dress code and I despise it. Both my boys are back asleep now and they're arms and legs are tangled together.
I place a kiss on both their cheeks and go back to the mirror in the bathroom to put up my hair in a messy wet bun. I never have time to put my hair up on days like today.
I dash out the door, checking the time on my cellphone. Chloe, my manager is proud to announce every morning at 5am that there is no such thing as "on time" there is only late and early. I tend to fall a few minutes in the late category because I'm not exactly a morning person. Nighttime is when I feel most alive.
When I get in the car it's 4:31am exactly. I doubt traffic will be bad and since it's only about a fifteen minute drive with traffic I think I'll be on time. I turn on my custom stereo that Seb got me and plug in my iPod. Drake comes through the speakers loud and clear and I turn it up to wake myself more.
By the time I get to work it's 4:50am and for once I'm early. Chloe looks impressed with me. "Miss Fray here on time for a change?"
"Yes, Chloe," I say hanging up my purse and putting on my black work shoes.
"Glad you decided to come in early today. We've got two carafes that need to be ready for 7am."
For fuck's sake. Who needs two 320 ounce carafes of coffee at 7am? Isn't there such a thing as caffeine overdose? I sigh and nod as I put on my apron and adjust my name tag.
The very first part of my shift goes by quickly, and by the time the carafes need to be filled with coffee I've had enough free starbucks that I can say I'm actually awake. Free starbucks is just about the only reason I took this job. With Sebastian doing as well as he is there's really no reason for me to work. Still, one of us should have a real job.
I get my first break at nine in the morning and it's a markout day so I happily take a croissant without paying for it before Chloe can see me. I take my now cold drink from the back and walk outside with my lighter and cigarette. It's mid-May and we're having one of our first warm mornings. I bask in the sunlight as the rays of late spring sun shine down on me.
It's not long now until I get out of work. I only have to work until noon.
Usually, I would wake and bake** before coming in but I think it might have put me back to sleep this morning. A nap is in my definite future.
I snub out my cigarette and finish my croissant and coffee, putting the cup in the dumpster. I send a text to Seb and Jace, hoping they're awake now.
[ outgoing text ; J. Herondale, S. Morgenstern ] Hey boys, rise and shine.
I wander back inside and slip my apron back on. Chloe eyes me wearily. "It's a fifteen minute break, not twenty, Fray."
"Sorry. I'll set a timer next time." I say, trying to sound sincere. If they're only paying me $8.50 an hour I'll take my damn time on breaks.
My phone buzzes and it's Seb calling me. I creep back into the supply room and answer my phone. I whisper. "Morning Sebastian. Chloe is here so I can't exactly talk."
"Right that's fine but I need you to pick me up so I can re-up. There's another show tonight and I was thinking we could go?" Fuck, unfortunately Sebastian's line of work has to come before mine.
"Yeah alright." I look at my Apple watch and it's only 9:30 in the morning. I have another two and half hours for my shift. "Could you wait a couple hours to re-up?" I hear Chloe shuffling around outside the door.
"No, my guy is ready now. He's heading out of town for a couple days so we kind of have to go now."
"Shit ok. I'll be home in 20." I hang up and get ready to grab my stuff.
"Chloe?" I shout from the back.
She pokes her head out, looking at me like I've just done something wrong. "I need to leave."
She sighs. I think she knows the excuse I'm about to give her isn't entirely legitimate so she just says. "You know we're short staffed today? The other girls will be down to a skeleton crew if you leave now." Momentarily, I feel bad. I don't really like the other girls so the feeling is fleeting.
"Sorry, Chloe."
I jog into the house and it appears Sebastian has a few friends over. Jace is reading and drinking coffee. This is a bit early for him to be up. All the pain medicines make him drowsy so he's never up much before noon.
"Hey Clary!" Sebastian greets me.
"Hey, c'mon let's go." I've left the car running and we don't have much gas left so I hope he's quick.
He tugs on a bomber jacket, it's still a bit cool this morning, and we climb into the car. I drive a red 2004 Audi A4. It's not technically my car, it's Sebastian's but I do all the driving. We zip out of the driveway and into traffic. We have to go across town to pick up and thankfully I remember where the guy's house is because usually Sebastian has to give me directions. That never goes well.
I pull up and undo my seatbelt to go in But Sebastian puts his hand over mine. "No, not this time. I'm getting a lot and I don't want you to get caught in the middle of this." I wonder what 'a lot' must mean. We sold a lot of drugs at the show the previous night so I have no idea what he's talking about. For fuck's sake we pay our rent in drug money!
But I do as he asks. "Whatever." He gets out of the car and jogs up the stairs to our friend's house and comes back out with two duffel bags. He throws it in the back seat and buckles up. I can't see what the big deal is. This is the same thing we do every couple days. The second duffel bag is extra from what Sebastian usually picks up but who cares?
I drive us carefully home, making sure to stop at all the yellow lights, stop signs and mind the construction worker flagging us at the intersection as we get off the highway. Sebastian is always so nervous about driving with a shit ton of drugs in the car but I'm always the chill one. I don't know why, both of us could go to jail for a very long time for what's in the car right now.
We arrive safely home and I pick up one of the duffel bags from the back seat and carry it inside. It feels like he's got stones in the damn bag. Apparently the people that were here for breakfast have since cleared out, probably at Jace and Sebastian's instructions. I put the bag on the couch and ask, "Can I open it?"
Sebastian shrugs as if he didn't care if I flushed the contents down the drain. "Stop it Seb what's the matter?" He looks up at me, it's the first time I've gotten a good look at him all day. The light from the window shines in even though we have the blinds closed, the late-spring sun casts shadows in the hollows of his eyes and I see what's been making him cranky almost immediately. He's in withdrawal. "How long has it been since you had any?"
"Couple days. I got so fixated on the molly and how much money I was making I just… forgot."
It's not like him to just forget. He usually has a stash on him at all times. Sometimes it's just a pill here or there but he usually has something.
"Got the cart before the horse?" I say, looking down at him as he kneels down to retrieve the drugs in the first duffel bag. It's a virtual cornucopia of illicit drugs. There's a pound of several strains of pot, two ounces of molly, two bricks of coke and some bundles of heroin. The second duffel bag yields more of the same.
"I've gotta cut the yay." He says to me. He takes one of the bricks and a scale and rummages around in the cupboard for some baking soda. "Could you run out and get me some baking soda when you get a chance?"
"Yep."
He takes out one of his credit cards and a knife. He easily cuts open the brick and lets a little of the powder fall out onto the clean table. He takes his credit card and chops the fine white powder into lines. He does a couple bumps of the grainy substance and I can see him returning to his warm self.
"Damn I feel so much better." Sebastian groans. He takes his finger and swipes it across the table and rubs his gums with the white powder. Usually I'd ask for some but I'm not feeling like it today.
I rub his back a little and I can feel the warmth of him. He begins to cut the coke and I wander into the other room. Jace is looking out the window forlornly. If I was bound to a wheelchair for the rest of my life I would probably be just as glum and depressed as Jace. He set his book down, marking his place.
"Do you think we'll ever be able to stop doing this?" Jace asked me.
"Maybe. I don't know. For right now it's all we can do to keep our head above water."
"That's true."
"We're going to have to pay for your new leg soon too so it's going to get worse before it gets better." I said and Jace shook his head.
Sebastian and I had met at Columbia. We were both from prestigious families but had both cut ties with them. My mother had gone off and cheated on my father, with a world famous book collector, Luke Garroway. I missed my mother a lot but she had her own life to lead didn't she? My father was out of the picture because he disowned me when I decided to quit school. He'd been so set on me becoming a world famous artist he'd never thought that I wanted other things too. After quitting school I moved in with Sebastian and we made a go of having regular jobs and a pretty boring life. We did pretty well until Jace came along. Jace was Sebastian's long time childhood friend and after a tour in Iraq he was pretty banged up. We told him he could stay with us for a while, until he got back on his feet. I ended up having to quit my 'regular' job to take care of him. I wouldn't have done it except I'd fallen in love with Jace and we'd been sleeping together quite regularly. I think Sebastian knew about it but he never seemed jealous or upset. I came home one day to find Sebastian riding Jace in the middle of our living room. It's not that I was unhappy with either of my boys, I just needed them both. I had no other way to explain it but that we all needed each other. So here we were, three years later still needing each other and making a go of trying to make it out there.
"I don't like to think about this." He said to me.
"Don't like to think about what?" I question him. There's pan etched on his face and I hate to think that I might be the cause of it.
"Us, struggling to pay the bills and me being a burden like always." He sighs. His breath tickles my nose, it smells like spices and coffee.
I looked at him thoughtfully. "If we really thought you were a burden to you think we would do it?"
"No, especially not Sebastian." Jace says with a dark look in his eye.
"There's your answer." I say, giving him a wink.
He sighs and pulls me in for a kiss. It's the first kiss I've gotten all day and I must say it's a bit late for this to be my first kiss of the day. Jace's lips are soft and warm against mine and I have to say I was pleased.
