Hey fanfiction! Its been awhile! So this is my first song fic and was hard as hell to write. And this is also a HetaOni fanfiction which makes even harder to keep Italy in character. Also the song i'm using is Bad Apple and i'm using Cristina Vee's translation.

Disclaimer: I do not own Bad Apple, Hetalia, or HetaOni, all three belong to their respective owners.


Ever on and on I continue circling.

Time loop after time loop. Again and again, every time, I've watched my friends die right before my eyes. Because I wanted to go to this godforsaken mansion in the first place.

With nothing but my hate and paralyzing agony.

Every loop I've been through, I've grown to hate how I have act in front everyone. Clueless, as if I haven't witnessed this over and ever. Each time i've been pushed to the brink of insanity with the continuous death of each one of my friends. The pain and sorrow weighing down on me each and every time.

But when I go back suddenly they forget all that happened previously and I feel my heart vanishing knowing that even though they are now with me I am still alone. Each time I am the only one who survives therefore making me the only one who remembers. Now suddenly I see that I can't break free.

I'm slipping through the cracks of a dark eternity.

Each time, even now, Its becoming seemingly more impossible that I'll get everyone alive, myself included.

Forever with my pain and paralyzing agony.

Standing with my friends now as we all huddle in the safe room. Stress and lack of hope are beginning to weigh on me once again. My friends are beginning to notice it too. Germany being the first one to speak up about it.

"Italy" He had said "Something not right. You're not acting like yourself."

I faked a smile, one that seemed a little too forced. "Nothing is wrong. I want to leave this place as much as you do. This place has changed us." I had almost continued and said 'me' but didn't want Germany to worry more. "If you think something is wrong then tell me who I am."

He looked at me with confusion but still answered. "Italia Veneziano, the northern half of Italy"

"Who I was?"
At this question he stays quiet, not knowing how to respond. But that question was an easy one. I was a carefree idiot. I used to have to be protected at every moment because of who weak I am. Only worrying about when I would eat pasta next. How naive I was. But the first question? Who am I? Even I can't answer that one. This horrid place changed me for the worse. When I ask myself who am I uncertainty envelops my mind till I can't break free.

And maybe its a dream. Maybe all the horrors that inside that we had faced. That monstrous thing inside were all a horrible creation of my imagination. Maybe nothing else is real. The stress and fear of this place is continuously building. I feel my sanity slipping away once again. I want to tell everyone about the time loops. I want to get this off my chest. But I already know it wouldn't mean a thing if I told you how I feel.

I'm tired of all the pain, all the misery inside. But before I get a chance, before I'm ready to speak of the countless times we've entered this hell. The ten I've entered this place with so gets reduced to nine. The first this time being America, his last words being 'I'm the hero, I'm going to save you guys.' It came as a shock to us. We were supposed to get out together! All of us! And I wish that I could live feeling nothing but the night.

Soon after America's death our alliance broke up. Deciding it would be better if we looked for a way out in small groups separately. I tried telling them what fools they were, how stupid they we to attempt to do that. But I was ignored. Basicly I could tell them what to say, I could tell them to where to go but I doubt that they would care. After all I'm poor, weak little Italy. I couldn't possibly know what I was talking about. And my heart would never know.

If I make another move there'll be no more going back. I feel so conflicted. My friends are dying yet again. I'm losing all hope that I was previously holding on to. The chances of escaping are looking incredibly bleak. Our situation is beginning to seem helpless. I'm starting to accept the reality that we probably won't make it out of here alive. Because everything will change and it all will fade to black.

We were all drained physically and emotionally. The monster had been getting stronger and we seeming weaker in comparison. Now its almost miracle if we beat the monster in fight and win with our lives. I had leaned against the wall sliding down, my eyes shut and hands on my head. In front of me the dead body of Prussia. Another one of my friends gone, protecting my useless ass. "Will tomorrow ever come?! Will I make through the night?! Will there ever be a place for the broken in the light?!" I had screamed, breaking down. This too much! Too Much!
Am I hurting? Am I sad? I ran down the hall then locking myself and the three others I had been with in one the rooms and cried. I'm alone. Most of them are dead. Its only me and three others now.
Should I stay? Should I continue this endless cycle of coming here to save them? Or should I go? Should I stop? I can't take it in more. All the pain, all the suffering. My sanity is almost, if not completely gone.
We left the room in search of another way out. I wanted to say something against leaving the safety of the room but I forgot how to tell. Did I ever even know?
Can I take another step? Can I save them? I've done everything I can. Watching them so determined. So hopeful that we'll get out. How can they still be positive when everyone around us had died? "All the people that I see I will never understand." I had mumbled to myself shaking my head.

If I find a way to change. If can find a way out. If I can get myself and the remaining three out. If I step into the light. If I hold on the the tiniest sliver of hope. Then I'll never be the same and it all will fade to white.

If I make another move. I tried. I tried so hard. If I take another step. We looked for an exit, we tried to leave. But it was hopeless. Each one. France, Japan, and Germany had all died right before my eyes. Then it will all fall apart. I'm alone, completely alone. No ones left except me and that damn thing. I survied. Its only me again. There'll be nothing of me left.

If I'm crying in the wind. If I'm crying in the night. Will crying solve anything? Will it bring them back? Will there ever be a way? Will my heart return to white? Will I ever be the pasta loving idiot I was?
I had ran to door, hoping it would open. So I could leave but to my dismay it was locked. And the monster was right behind me. Can you tell me who you are? Can you tell you tell me where I am? I've forgotten how to see. I've forgotten if I can.

I'm done. I can't take it anymore. I've done this too many time. My hope has diminished. Its gone. I'm going to get them out, I couldn't. This my final time loop. I shut my eyes and walked up to the monster. If I open up my eyes there'll be no more going back. Getting closer to the monster I swallow. Accepting my fate. Cause I'll throw it all away and it all will fade to black.
I open my eyes looking at the monster with solemn eyes. " You won. Kill me now." He oblogies my request. The last thing I see is his gray almost happy face.