A/N: Just a sort of missing scene fic. It's set somewhere between season 2, let's say roughly after the time of 'The Ex-factor'. I always wished the show had explored the Seth and Marissa friendship more because it had so much potential imo. I think in that first half of season 2 they were in such a similar position in respect to their relationships with Summer and Ryan, that it seems a great shame to not make use of that connection. This is all this is, a possible play at what could have been; there is nothing romantic between them in this fic. If anything there are very direct references to SS and RM.
And to those following 'The Summer Haze' I will do my best to write and put up the last and final chapter over this week. Meanwhile, enjoy this (hopefully!)
Reviews are always appreciated very much.
Seth Cohen walked out on to the Harbor quad holding his lunch tray and scanned the various tables for an empty seat. The sun shone down brightly, making him squint as he looked on. Most of the tables were already filled with little cliques and with a sigh, he noted that even a year after Ryan's arrival, nothing's really changed. Summer Roberts may be his ex-girlfriend but he still remains that geeky comic book kid and hell, Ryan was probably more of a geek than him this year. As he walks amongst the various tables, he finally spots a viable option: Marissa Cooper sitting by herself at a table in the corner.
"Hey. Do you mind if I sit here?" he asks her, tentatively for some reason even though he would probably call her a friend and of course, she is his step-aunt. He realises she's got headphones in and is visibly engrossed in a magazine she's reading. "Marissa?"
With a start, Marissa realises Seth's talking to her. She snags her headphones out and greets him warmly, "Hi Seth." He takes the positive greeting as a sufficient indicator that she won't mind his company.
"Hello Marissa. What are we listening to today?"
"The new Modest Mouse album. You know, I think they really give Death Cab a run for their money."
"A formidable contender but it's difficult to compete with Ben Gibbard's dulcet tones."
Marissa smiles; it is near on impossible to convince Seth that Death Cab isn't the best band ever.
"Well, it would be great to see either band live. Alex should really try to get them for The Bait Shop."
"Ah Alex, I remember her fondly. We had a short but sweet time together. And I'm sure that beneath that steely punk rock exterior of hers, our break up hit her hard."
"Didn't she dump you?"
"Did she?" Seth replied, feigning ignorance but in that typical affable manner of his. "I can never seem to remember the details. Everything just sort of converges."
"Hmm...in fact I'm pretty sure she also made out with another girl. Remind me, was that before or after you guys broke up?"
"Fine details, like I said, I forget." Marissa grins back at him, half-mockingly but for the most part harmless.
"Actually, I've been hanging out with Alex - she's cool. I'm impressed that you convinced her to date you."
"Well, what can I say Marissa? The chicks dig the Cohen appeal." he retorts swiftly. He thinks it's odd really, that Marissa's good opinion should leave him feeling proud. It's one of those peculiar things about high school; the labels people get given never manage to be shaken off. Not entirely. Her overdose, the scandal with Jimmy, Oliver, her mother's affair with her Luke, the marriage with Caleb; after all of that, she is no longer the Marissa Cooper of a year ago. Not to him nor anyone else and yet, despite the pitying glances and gossiping murmurs which she receives from the people passing, he notes how every girl who walks by Marissa looks at her with a slight sense of awe, struck somehow by her beauty or simply that label of the Newport princess. And the boys too, tread around her like, to put it crudely, as though she is the ultimate piece of ass to bag. He might not grasp that latter fascination, but right now, when Marissa pays him the compliment he has this fuzzy feeling of 'I can't believe Marissa Cooper is impressed with me'.
As if he would ever let her know that though.
"So what's next for you Seth? Which girl is going to be your next victim?" Marissa comments.
"I don't quite know yet. I was thinking of doing the whole one night stand thing. It could do wonders for my masculinity."
"I'm not so sure it's your scene Seth."
"Oh really?" He's about to give a smart comeback but then his eyes divert for just a second and he sees Summer. Summer, who is walking out hand in hand with her boyfriend. Summer, who is laughing and giggling in that way he had thought exclusive to him. Summer, who with an easy turn of her heel, wraps her arms around her boyfriend and leans up on her tip toes to kiss him.
Summer and Zach. He watches them, yet again with the endless, unstoppable envy. He remembers the first time, at the start of the school year, and the horrible gut wrenching pain made all the more worse with the knowledge that it had been entirely his doing. If he had not sailed away, it would have been a curly haired Jewish boy that Summer would have been kissing.
Marissa notices his vacant gaze and turns to see what or who he is staring at. She spots them quickly and it's apparent within seconds, why Seth's looking suddenly so sullen.
"You're still pining for Sum, then?" she asks him. It's not so much a question really, but just a matter of fact, one laced with a sadness that Marissa only understands too well.
Seth forces himself to tear his eyes away as Summer and Zach fade away into the distance. Marissa's question doesn't quite register with him. What's he supposed to say? Deny what is so explicit on his face or give an admittance of his pathetic and futile hopes. In all honesty, he just doesn't know where he stands with Summer anymore; with everyday, it feels more and more like they are moving out of that penumbral 'will-they-won't-they' stage and entering into the definite 'they-won't'.
"I can't help it." he tells Marissa in a moment of utter honesty, no jokes, no pretences. "I just love her so much and I can't shake it. I can't help hoping that one day she'll turn around and realise she loves me too. And she'll forgive me and then we'll be back to how we were and we'll live happily ever after." He pauses, sighing with frustration. "That's probably the most pathetic you've heard, isn't it?"
"No. No, it's not Seth." she replies quietly and solemnly. "I understand, completely."
And then it dawns on him: Ryan; she's not over him, far from it. Their situations, it seems, is bound by the same tragedy and to his surprise, Marissa Cooper appears to be the person who might understand him best.
"So what do you do?" he asks, his voice teeming with exasperation, "Because I can't seem to move on."
"Luke once gave me some advice, right around the time after Oliver."
"Luke?" He says, raising his eyebrow to question her.
"Yes, Luke. Surprising isn't it? He told me that the sooner you realise that things won't ever actually go back to the way they used to be, the sooner you can move on. And that's probably the best advice I can think of."
"But, what if Summer really is it for me. What if we are meant to be together? And so if I give up, I let her slip away." Seth suddenly blurts out. He takes a moment to compose himself, and then adds with resignation, "I guess I already let her slip away."
"Seth, you've got to stop trying to win her back. Just let it be." Marissa tells him, not at all sure if her advice is any good. "And try to move on."
"Even if I can't?"
"Even if you can't."
It's only then that he begins to grasp the extent of Marissa's loneliness. While he has been chasing Summer for these past few months, Marissa's been standing back, watching Ryan from afar and just letting him be, absolutely. If she misses him even half as much as he misses Summer, he can imagine how painful it must be for her, to put on that smiling, unwavering facade every day.
The bell rings and the sound cuts through the tense air. Marissa gets up, grabbing her things and picking up her lunch tray. She gives him a sad smile because there's not much more to be said. It's strange for her to see this side to him, but at the same, it's also quite nice.
As an afterthought she adds, "Don't tell Summer I told you this, but even if Alex might not be crying over you, it was a different story this summer. No matter how things might end up in the future, she really did love you."
Seth absorbs her words and though, there's a tragedy in thinking about Summer's feelings in the past tense, it comforts him to remember that it hadn't always been 'Zach and Summer' but 'Seth and Summer'.
"Thanks."
It's odd to think that there was a time when he hated Marissa. Watching Marissa walk away, it strikes him that a new friendship might truly be forming.
