"Don't marry her."
The words slip out of my mouth before I've even properly processed them.
His eyes widen then, as big as saucers. He freezes and quirks a brow, "What?"
"Don't marry her." My voice is quiet - weak and gentle, and I hate myself for it but I can't help it. I take a deep breath and try again, "Please. Don't marry her."
He's staring at me. He's wearing that stupid suit - the one he's meant to be wearing on their wedding day - and he steps towards me, carefully. He pauses, and maybe he thinks I'm going to say something else but when I don't he clears his throat.
"Uh… What? Why not?"
The question hits me right in the centre of the chest, and I feel absolutely stupid but I know I have to tell him. I have to tell him, or else I might hate myself for the rest of my life.
"If you marry her, that means it's finally over."
His eyebrows arch even higher into his forehead. He looks like he wants to reach out to me, but he doesn't.
"What's finally over?"
"Me." I gesture between the two of us, "Everything. Us."
"We'll still be friends, Cress." His eyes are sympathetic, "Just because I'm marrying her doesn't mean I'll forget about you."
"That's not what I'm talking about." I cry, and finally, finally I give way to the tears that have been threatening to burst for so long, "I'm not talking about being your friend, Thorne." He's staring at me strangely, like he doesn't really understand.
"What are you talking about, then?"
"I love you. And not as a friend, or a sister or anything like that. I am completely head over heels, in love with you." I pause, "And I can't imagine myself spending the rest of my life with anybody else."
There is a beat of silence. I watch as he processes what I've just told him.
The truth.
After years, and years of secretly pining after him, I've finally told him the truth.
He frowns, "What?"
I swallow thickly, because it feels like I have no liquid left in my mouth.
"I love you."
The words stick uncomfortably between us, and I watch as Thorne shuffles from one foot to the other. He sighs.
"Cress - "
I can tell what is about to come.
The crippling rejection. I wince because I don't want to hear it.
"Forget it." I try to laugh but I'm already crying, "Honestly it isn't a big deal."
Thorne's eyes are wide, "Not a big deal? I can't just forget about this."
"Yep. Yes you can. You can and you will."
"Cress. This is - I don't - "
I don't want to hear anymore.
"Don't say anything. I don't want your pity," The words are bitter, but at this point I could not care less, "Honestly. Just. Just go."
I turn away from him and I wish he would grab me back. But he doesn't.
And I know why.
He loves her not me. And he's going to marry her not me.
I am hopeless.
