A/N: I wrote this shortly before Christmas. It was the middle of the
night. I'm going to copy it exactly how I wrote it that night, even though
a lot of it doesn't make sense. =)




HARRY: (READING OFF CUECARDS) SCENE 1: CHRISTMAS PRESENTS

HERMIONE: *TO YOU* SEE, WE DREW NAMES. *OPENS HER GIFT FROM RON**UNENTHUSIASTICALLY* OH. A HAT.
THANK YOU RON.

A/N: THEY DIDN'T KNOW WHO HAD THEM

RON: WHATEVER. *OPENS PRESENT. FROM SNAPE.* OH, NO. NOT THIS. *FIVE DETENTIONS FALL OUT*

HARRY: *OPENS AND AROMATHERAPY CANDLE FROM HERMIONE* *GIVES DUMBLY A BOOK*

DUMBLY: STOP WIT THE BOOKS! GIVE ME SOME WOOL!

SNAPE: *GRINS EVILLY* *OPENS A BOTTLE OF SHAMPOO FROM REMUS AND STOPS SMILING*

REMUS: *OPENS BIG BOX AND I JUMP OUT*

ME: MERRY CHRISTMAS MOONY! *SNAPS FINGERS AND HE'S MY AGE* MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ME...

ME: OPENS PRESENT FROM voldemort. ONE WAY TICKET TO TIMBUCK2. YEAH RIGHT. FAT CHANCE.

voldie: OPENS PRESENT FROM SIRIUS. A BOMB.

EVERY ONE CEPT voldie: APPARATE TO THE MALL

HARRY: SCENE 2. A CHRISTMAS PLAY

MOI:OKAY, WE'RE GOING TO ACT OUT THE BOOK A WRINKLE IN TIME BY MADELEINE L'ENGLE

NEVILLE: WHY?

ME: NO IDEA. FIRST, AUDITIONS! ROWENA!

*A YOUNG WOMAN WITH CURLY BROWN HAIR STARTS SINGING*

ROWENA: 'SOME ONE TO WATCH... OVER ME.....'

ME: NO! RAVENCLAW, NOT MORGAN!

A/N: EVER SEEN MR HOLLAND'S OPUS?

ROWENA M.: OH WELL. *WALKS OFF AND SMOOCHES A DUDE THAT IS OLD ENOUGH TO BE HER FATHER BUT IS
JUST HER MUSIC TEACHER*

HARRY: !!!!!DON'T CRY FOR ME ARGENTINA!!!!!

SEAMUS: WHOA.

HARRY:!!!!!!!!THE TRUTH IS I NEVER LEFT YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

RON: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!ALL THROUGH MY WILD DAYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

HERMIONE: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!MY MAD EXISTANCE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

NEVILLE: !!!!!!!!!!! I KEPT MY PROMISE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

HAGRID: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!DON' KEEP YER' DISTANCE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

MCGONAGALL: YAY! ENCORE!

EVERYONE ELSE: *STARES*

MINNIE MICKY (MINERVA MCGONAGALL): WHAT? *PULLS OFF COSTUME TO SHOW SHE'S MADONNA IN DISGUISE*

MCDONNAGALL: !!!!!!!!!!!!TELL ME LOVE ISN'T TRUE IT'S JUST SOMETHING THAT WE DO-O-OO!!!!!!!!!

peter pettigrew: ACK.

ME: YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE SAID N.E.THING. NOW WE'LL HAVE TO KILL YOU.

ratty thing: *GOES INTO THE BOY'S BATHROOM*

ME: SIRIUS, REMUS, JAMES, I THINK I'LL LET YOU DO THE HONORS.

FAITHFUL MARAUDERS: GLADLY.

HEDWIG: DUDE, WHERE'S MY CAR?

PIG: *LOOKS AROUND* WHERE'S YOUR CAR, DUDE?

HEDWIG: DUDE, WHERE'S MY CAR?

ET CAETERA

TREVOR: AAGH! THERE'S YOUR STUPID CAR!

EVERYONE: *TURNS AROUND IN TIME TO SEE NAGINI DRIVING A HUGE, MAGENTA, MANGO SCENTED MONSTER
TRUCK

DEAN: MAN, HEDWIG'S GOT SOME SWEET WHEELS!

%SPLAT%

theendtheendtheendtheendtheendtheendtheendtheend



disclaimer: j k owns hp duh.... a wrinkle in time belongs to madeleine l'engle and her
publishers (have you read the l'engle series??), mr holland's opus belongs to, ummmmm....,
whoever,and dude where's my car belongs to the theatre.



a/n: i know this was totally stupid. pleeeze r and r and i'll r and r your stories.
~mel (which is [almost] the author's real name)