Lonely Hearts.

Ginny Weasley was very bored. Detention was always boring, but today's was even more so.

She had thought it a very good idea to blackmail Draco into writing her lines in addition to his own, but hadn't reckoned on the fact that this meant she had to sit in Dungeon 4 with him until he had finished, with absolutely NOTHING to do except count how many pickled eyeballs there were in the jar on her desk. Pickled eyeballs. Seriously!

She sighed to herself as she looked at the roll of parchment Draco was filling with the words "Next time I threaten a member of the class with dismemberment I will be dismembered myself". She grinned- that was hers. Draco hadn't started his own yet.

Struck with an idea as to how to make the time pass a bit quicker, Ginny reached for his parchment and ripped off a ten-inch strip. She filched a raven feather quill off Draco, who gave her an evil look, and then began to write.

Man wanted. Well, she might as well make her sexuality clear from the start. No nasty surprises later that way. That was the problem with non-gender-specific names- you never knew what you'd end up with. Humming Lola's solo from Copacabana, she smiled and continued.

For Quidditch, Pranking, Espionage and what naturally follows. No. Did that seem too slutty? Maybe she should describe herself instead.

Ok. Start again.

Vivacious redheaded Chaser, 17, seeks... The Boy Who Lived.Well, you never know, there could be more than one.

Vivacious redheaded Chaser, 17, will look to meet nice man- no, not nice man. She'd end up with Neville.

Vivacious redheaded Chaser, 17, seeks born romantic for long walks on the beach, red roses- no. He'd cheat on her. Maybe she needed a fresh start?

Pretty redheaded witch, 17, WLTM likeminded man interested in bondage, pole dancing and sadomasochism for romantic weekend trips and picnics by the lake.She looked at it with satisfaction. Well, at least there would never be a dull moment.

No. She needed more detail. She'd end up with a psycho if she didn't put down her exact specifications.

Pretty, although admittedly very freckly, 17-year-old Quidditch enthusiast WLTM smart and funny guy for fun and more.Must be able to put up with six over-protective brothers, a mother who has more in common with Cruella De Vil than she will ever realise, and a LOT of competition.Preferably must have own broom, and a flying carpet big enough to substitute for bedroom in case of "contretemps" would be a bonus. Must be on the good side so the engagement won't come as too much of a shock. Warm, kind, funny and able to put up with a nymphomaniac girlfriend. Also one or more of the following: handsome/conveniently rich/named Darcy or similar. Must NOT be engaged with any ongoing battle with the Forces Of Darkness, as it interrupts date times and has no consideration for Valentine's Day. Contact Ginny Weasley in the Gryffindor Common Room.

"Pretty good" said a voice behind her and Ginny jumped. Draco had finished his own lines (100 repetitions of "Hitting girls to prove that I am macho will not gain me any further house points however much I have been provoked") and was reading over her shoulder. Ginny hastily scribbled No ferrets, platinum blonds or pureblooded bigots at the bottom of her Lonely Hearts ad. Draco couldn't help but chuckle.

"Hey, help me do one, Weasley?" he said. "We can't leave 'til Slughorn comes back anyway" Ginny looked at him, eyebrows raised, then took up a new piece of parchment.

Platinum blond, pureblooded bigoted ferret, 18, WLTM girl with similar interests- losing at Quidditch, trying and failing to humiliate The Chosen One, sneering, etc. Must be willing to put out on first date, only wear clothes in green/silver/black.

"That it, Weasley?" smirked Draco. "It's almost Christmas, I'd have thought you'd have put in a bit more effort, in the name of festive spirit if not because you actually like me" Ginny laughed.

"well, what do you want me to put, Malfoy?" He pretended to think for a moment.

"Oh, I don't know... 'Must be able to fight off legions of Vivacious Redheaded Admirers', or perhaps 'Must be willing to share with a pretty redheaded admirer, and give up all claims to the Ferret on Valentine's Day so he can go on a date with said Redheaded Admirer'?"

Ginny looked at him, smirked, and scribbled down a last sentence on the page, at which point Slughorn came in, looked at the notes, and dismissed them. She handed him the parchment and left before Draco had a chance to read what she had written.

Must also have face like pit bull terrier, as said ferret loves girls who are totally out of his league.