Io Ti Odio
I hate you. I hate you so much. You're in front of the store cooking something with fish in it. I'm at the kitchen table watching you while snacking on a tomato.
"What the hell are you making?" I ask. You turn to look at me and smile.
"Paella. It's really good! I'm sure you'll like it, Lovilito!" you answer before turning back to the food.
"Don't call me that," I say. You don't answer because you're not paying attention. Why should you? I know you'd rather have him. Everyone would rather have him. Not like I care.
I stand and walk over to see what the food looks like. Yellow rice with peppers, tomatoes, clams, and shrimp. You add some chicken and lobster. You don't even notice that I'm next to you. "Spagna?" I ask. You ignore me. I turn and go to my room. I lie on my back on the bed, and stare up at the ceiling.
I hate you. I really do hate you. I hate your soft-looking dark hair, I hate your pretty voice, and I hate your beautiful green eyes. Why do I hate you? I want you to ask me that. Ask me with tears in your eyes 'Why do you hate me so much, Lovino?' I won't answer you of course.
I hate you because we're both men and the fact that I love you is a disgusting sin, so I hate you. You'd rather have my fratello in your home because he'd clean and cook for you. You want Feliciano when you already have me, so I hate you.
My cheeks are wet.
I remember you went to Austria's house once and begged him to trade. That way you'd have him and I'd be gone. I hate you for that. I hate that you ignore me.
I can't see the ceiling anymore. It's all blurry.
Love me, you bastard! I walk to the bathroom and wash my face and hands before going back to the kitchen. You're putting two plates of that paella stuff on the table across from each other. I sit down in the chair that's closest to the door.
"Doesn't that sound nice? What do you want to drink?"
You didn't notice I left. Heh. Figures. "Wonderful," I reply sarcastically, "Red wine. The oldest you have." I watch you pour a glass and hand it to me, before pouring some white wine for yourself. You sit across from me.
"Eat, eat! It's delicioso!" you say. "So I'll call Roderich after dinner and tell him we'll go to his Christmas party. It'll be so wonderful to see Feliciano again!"
Dammit, why do you always see through me? Just stop it! God I sound like that Minaj woman. Maybe I should try again? Maybe this time you'll hear?
"Ti amo, Antonio," I say. You keep talking. Of course you do. I stand and throw my plate at you, which you dodge. You're all ears now, aren't you?
"Lovilito, what's wrong? Why did you through your dinner?"
I turn and run out the door, screaming "Io ti odio!" behind me. I run outside and I don't stop until I reach the Mediterranean Sea. I look into the water, panting. Once I catch my breath, I walk to a church in Rome. I think I'll hide out there for a while. Besides, I need to go to confession again.
io ti odio-i hate you-italian
delicioso-delicious-spanish
ti amo-i love you-italian
