*A/N: So this is what I'm doing instead of sleeping haha. I'm super excited for tomorrow nights episode so I wanted to write this which is sort of what I think should happen but since I'm not going to be done with it tonight I'll probably continue it with my version of what did happen since I'll have seen the episode. Anyways, reviews are greatly appreciated!*

All That I'm Living For

Chapter 1(Naomi)

Castle Under Seige

I walk into class a little late and all eyes turn to me. Too bad there's only one person here I want to see, who I want to see me. My head immediately locks on to her desk but it's empty. My heart sinks and all hopes for a good day are crushed. She's practically the only thing that makes my days brighter.

"Naomi?" I turn and look at the teacher. It's still kind of awkward. I mean first of all the bloke tried to kiss me and then he shagged my mom…several times, kind of a weird situation. He's alright though, nice enough chap.

He gestures into the classroom with one hand, "Would you like to join us then? Or just stand in the doorway?"

I feel a slight blush come to my cheeks but I force it away. That's not me, I'm kind of like Effy I suppose…unflappable, or at least I try to be but it's not been working out for me lately. I make my way over to an empty desk next to the window. It's next to her empty desk and I feel another pang in my stomach as the teacher resumes his lesson. Where is she? Is she ok? Is she sick? I give a quiet sigh and lean my head onto my hands. This is going to be a long day. I haven't even been here for five minutes and already I'm totally zoned out like a love sick puppy.

This past weekend was amazing, even though towards the end everything turned into rubbish…still, I'd gotten to stay with her in the tent. It had been a bit awkward between us since the lake but I'd tried to sort it out as best I could. Who the hell knew what I wanted anymore? Well, turns out she did.

I know you, Naomi. I think you want someone to want you….well I do. So be brave and want me back.

Walking over to her house with my heart pouring from my eyes had been the hardest thing I'd ever had to do. Be brave, she'd told me. I'd always thought of my self as bloody Captain Courageous. Tough, smart, cool, collected Naomi. Right? Wrong. I wasn't the one being brave anymore. She was being brave. She kept pushing at my walls and every time I cut her down, she'd just start climbing back up them. Had to admire that kind of persistence. Each time I think my walls started getting a little bit shorter though. Seems like she'd gotten in and now I couldn't get her out of my head, or my heart.

Can't we just sit like this….for a bit?

Yeah, we can. For a bit.

There it was the uneasy standstill. She held my hand and let me cry on her doorstep. Later she invited me in and I stayed but she never touched me. We chatted, drank a little, but in the end I went to sleep on Katie's bed and Emily went to sleep on her own. Good thing Katie was God knows where or else I might've had to sleep on the sofa and endure Katie's shit in the morning. We woke up in the morning, ate breakfast, went to college, but we didn't say a word about us. I had expected her to jump up first thing in the morning and demand to know what the fuck I wanted from this relationship. But she hadn't. She'd smiled at me the way that only she can but she kept her cool distance up at all times.

Since then Emily has hung around me but she wasn't acting the same way as before. She isn't constantly pushing on my walls and I'm beginning to miss it. It's almost like a siege, she's starving me out of my walls, and I'm starving for her. She's set up camp and is waiting me out and I don't like it. She doesn't surprise me with hasty, stolen kisses or gentle touches to my hand. I'd pretended to ignore all those things, they didn't matter. But of course they did. I missed her even though we saw each other nearly every single day.

Well at the campout in the woods I'd come this close to just grabbing her and snogging the hell out of her. She stuck by my side like glue and once I screwed up some courage (all right it was the mushrooms) and took hold of her hand. We danced in our high along to some eerie sparklers that J.J had snuck into his bag. She held onto me then. She pulled me close to her and spun with me into oblivion. When Cook crashed the camp and scared the shit out of all of us, she'd put her arms around me as if to protect me and I'd grasped one of her hands tightly within my own. I was scared that if something happened to us tonight, she'd never know how I really felt about her. Actually, even I wasn't sure how I really felt for her but I was beginning to find out.

I'd laid on her shoulder, curled against her side with her arm wrapped securely around me. I'd breathed in her warmth and gently traced the frames of her face with one finger. I brushed her soft red hair out of her eyes and she looked over at me. She leaned closer and I looked at her lips. But then J.J. came crashing in, talking a mile a minute about how, "Jeez this tent is small. Better slide over you two I need some space too. Bloody cold though, not as cold as last year. Freddie, Cook, and I came here. We had a fun time though, no people with guns. We didn't find any mushrooms that time though. Mum says mushrooms are bad and I'm not to eat them because they could be poisonous and I could get very ill. I don't think these were bad though, I mean Effy brought them, surely she knows what to look for don't you think? Anyways…."

"J.J. You're getting locked on." I interrupted him to say.

He blinked several times, "Right…sorry." After that he rolled over and went to sleep, out like a light.

I blew out a sharp breath in frustration. Why did he have to ruin my alone time with her? She touched my hand, causing me to look up into her eyes again, "Good night, Naomi."

She laid back down and I thought that was my cue to do the same. Even though J.J. was pressed against my side, I still thought it was too cold. It had felt warmer when Emily had been holding me. I was just getting ready to resign myself to a sleepless night filled with the torture of her lying right next to me and me not being able to do a bloody thing about it when she reached over and tugged me back to her.

"It is fucking freezing," she mumbled into my hair. I wrapped an arm securely around her waist and snuggled in. Even with J.J. crashing the mood, tonight was shaping up to be a bit of alright.

"Naomi? Naomi?"

The professor's voice brought me crashing back to college and away from my night with her in the woods.

I look up to find everyone again staring directly at me. Feigning confidence I don feel I look boldly up into the teacher's eyes. "Yes?"

He smirks back at me because I'm pretty sure he knows my game, "Well…out with it girl, do you know the answer?"

"Forty-five?" I hazard.

He sighs, "Naomi, this is history."

"Alright then, 1945?"

"Well since Ms. Campbell obviously has better things to think about lets just ask Katie shall we? Katie, do you know the answer?"

At the mention of Katie's name I try not to gag. She probably won't know the answer anyways.

"Isn't it the Battle of Barnet?"

The teacher sounds shocked, "Well, yes it is. Thank you Katie."

But I couldn't care less about how shocked he was right now. That voice…it wasn't Katie's voice. My head spun around to look at the corner of the room where Katie usually sat. She's looking down at her text book, hair curly, small bandage on her head, low cut top, short skirt…it had to be Katie. But somehow it hadn't sounded like her.

Suddenly her head tilts up and her eyes lock with mine. That's when I knew.

Emily.