The Life and Lies of….

Neville Longbottom

CHAPTER 1; Why is it always me?

"Why is it always me?!" thought Neville Longbottom to himself as he was hung upside down by his ankles out of the 2nd story window of his grandmother's house. His Uncle was unsuccessfully attempting to force any little bit of magic out of him 'subtly' while his grandmother and aunts looked on anxiously. It was long after the blood had rushed to his head however before his uncle gave in and dropped him rather unceremoniously on the pink-tinged carpet of the living room.

Neville picked himself up rather clumsily and his face went even redder than it had been when he had been hanging upside down out of a window…then he hurried out of the room, past his uncles and aunts and grandmother who were all shaking their heads wearily as they did every time uncle tried a new trick to get magic out of Neville.

His bedroom was the final room at the end of the rather long corridor. It was also the only room which was not some shade of pink. He quickly gulped down some water but could not help but overhear the rather loud whispers being exchanged from the room he had just left…

"…and he's turning 11 next year …"

"…maybe we should ask the people at St Mungos…?"

"…NO…that would only upset the boy to be sent there….then the magic would become completely useless due to the stress of it all…"

"…I say patience, besides, he is sure to have some magic in him somewhere…after all, he is the son of Frank and Alice…"

"…No two greater a wizard and witch if ever I saw one…"

Neville groaned…this conversation had ended up at his parents. Frank and Alice had always been a rather sensitive subject around Neville. They were now both permanent residence of the SPELL DAMAGE level of St Mungos. The Death Eater – Bellatrix Lestrange had done this to them…tortured them to insanity, so that now they hardly even recognise their own son…

A few months later…

"I knew he had it in him! I JUST KNEW IT!"

"And to think that all I had needed to do was DROP him from the window! I knew I was being too soft on the boy…"

"…and he bounced all the way down the driveway, yes that is right Marge…BOUNCED!"

"Oh my boy…"

"I will take you straight away to Diagon alley and get you your robes and a cauldron and of course you will need spell books…."

"And be sure to get him a toad Miriam…He can always use the school owls and I am allergic to cats…"

"…but do you want a toad Neville darling...?"

Neville looked up and his already blushing face turned an even deeper crimson…

"No gran…it's ok, a toad is fine…"

"Awww, you darling boy…never complaining!"

Neville stood blushing fiercely in the centre of his relatives. He had just been sent an owl letter announcing his acceptance at Hogwarts school of witchcraft and wizardry which would begin the coming September. It had come only an hour after he had been hung out of the window for the fourth time that month and his uncle accepted a cup of tea with the hand he had been holding Neville with. Neville had dropped from two storeys up but when he hit the ground…only bounced and bounced and bounced down the driveway. He had never seen his grandmother so happy in his whole entire life…

Neville was extremely nervous as he re-read the Hogwarts letter for the tenth time since he had got it. He had never had many friends and was not a very bright child. His ears where on the large side and his teeth stuck out at the front. Neville was also very forgetful…so much so that one time he forgot to put pants on when going to the park with his gran, (she had only bothered to point it out to him when he was halfway down the street!) and losing his shoe when it had been on his foot only a minute before…

It certainly did not help that his 'dear' gran was always comparing him to his now insane father who had, in his time, been an extraordinary wizard.