Just a Hyperbole
sarcasticrainbow
Some of things in life that Percy Jackson never expected to happen was to be kidnapped, make Rachel Dare a sandwich, and walk in on the the supposed God of the Sun with some hot chick. Unfortunately, all these things happened and now he's stuck with the consequences.Apollo/Percy/Hermes AU College Elements
One
Glaub mir es ist nichts so schön, nichts so schön auf dieser Welt
Denn wir warn schon überall nichts ist so wie Bielefeld
Ihr könnt machen was ihr wollt wir gehen niemals weg von hier
Bleiben bis wir sterben in der Stadt die nicht existiert.
Globus Dei by Pimpulsiv
Now, honestly, there are always certain things that one never ever plans to expect in their life, but most of the time these odd things ended up happening in an odd case of irony. Of course, this idea applied to one Peresus Jackson as well. The seventeen year had never, ever expected to experience in what he would assume to be a very short life was: to live past his twelfth birthday and graduate High School since he had a nasty habit of getting kicked out of them in the first place, another was to make it to the really insane college he was currently in, and the last was to walk in on some really hot stranger (who of course Percy had learned very quickly that in the future would be the one attempting/trying/almost succeeding in stealing his virginity) with some really hot chick with some rather obnoxiously-sized boobs in what was supposed to be his new dorm room.
It was that event alone though, that had set off all the new equally challenging set of problems that had sent his life into a disarray of trouble. Such as getting kidnapped by one of his weird foreign room-mates and being forcefully kissed and another was to make his childhood-enemy a goddamn sandwich.
He wished it hadn't happened and he really wished that the mental images that event had brought would just go away. But just like the person who had brought them, they wouldn't.
It was a Thursday and the date was the 28th of August.
A teenager was making his way down a rather long hallway with brown doors and either side. He seemed lost, but one would soon come to fine that the teenager always looked this way. Eventually, the boy made it to his required destination, which of course was a magnificent bright white door. Tacked on the door, was a white sheet of paper.
Haikus are easy
But some do not make much sense
Refrigerator.
The boy squinted at the words, trying to decipher them into proper what he hoped to be English and cracked a smile when he un-coded it. Underneath he noticed, was another one.
She dances lithely
Seduction under the moon
I- hey, a nickel!
The door itself looked to be like some really expensive pure white door with some Ancient Greek symbol painted upon it and below the odd symbol was the piece of white paper tacked up with curvy writing.
Obviously whoever lived here had a sense of humour. He had a feeling he would regret thinking that though. It was a small feeling, but he felt it anyway but he shrugged it off.
Now, there were only two possible reasons as to why Percy Jackson had been accepted to the college he was in now. Either he was secretly a master mind genius and he had no clue about it or someone must of had to die in order for him to make it to that school. But here he was. Here he was, in the full flesh. Having survived the car trip with his friend from New York City to Brockport, New York, here he was.
Percy Jackson still had no clue on how he even had gotten accepted to the College he was in. Here he was though, standing in a rather cold dorm hallway in front of the only white door there. Every other door was a dark brown.
This of course could a dream though. At any moment, a man in a llama suit would come out and tell him that he had lost the Game and he would wake up, thoroughly mind-fucked and angered at the idea he had lost the Game within his own dream.
Normally, under very normal situations SUNY schools were but weren't hard to get into, but this one? This one was slightly different. This was Brockport. This was the school. It wasn't any better than Buffalo and was definitely not as crowded, but you had to either be rich as hell or be as smart as ever to even think about the school. Some strings had to have been pulled for him to attend.
Obviously, there must be some suicidal man working at the school or some man attempting to plot his death. Who else but a suicidal man or a would-be murderer would give a full scholarship to a boy with ADHD and dyslexia?
At least least he had made it to the school in one whole piece.
Percy shook his head. Best not to think about any bad things and with that, Percy knocked on the door.
There was some quiet shuffling and lowered voices on the other side of the really white door before it went quiet again. Percy squirmed awkwardly. Whoever it was behind the door was doing something. Maybe he had the wrong door?
But no, that couldn't be right. This happened to be the only white door on the entire floor and in the entire building. He knew this for a fact. Besides, the Resident Assisant had told him that he had needed to 'find the white door'. And from there, he had gone through some four-five floors in attempt to find said door. All the while, he was pondering what his roommates were going to be like.
The Resident Assistant had looked somewhat nervous when he had told Percy about his room. He had told Percy to watch out and be careful and that he would have to find the room himself because the floor Percy was said to be living wasn't 'his floor'.
Just his luck though. Out of all people in the campus, he had to have been stuck with the weird ones. No, not the smelly nerd or the creepy Asian who lived a floor down – but the weird ones who were feared by most apparently.
Again, he knocked again with that friendly thought, but no one answered again and this time he decided to take out the keys he had gotten, hoping they actually worked. Luckily for him, the key fit and the door unlocked. He pushed it open and walked in slowly, lifting his head up to talk -
-and promptly screamed and blacked out.
"Oh fuck."
"Hey, I think he's waking up!"
"Son, if he was waking up I think he wouldn't look so dead still."
"When have I been your son?"
"...Since now."
"But you–"
"Guys, be quiet. He's waking up!" That was her voice.
Ohshit, ohshit, ohshit...
Percy tried to avoid waking up once he heard her voice, but it was too late. She had noticed his sudden movement and grinned widely before pulling him by the ear and forced him to be fully aware and painfully awake.
Of course, Rachel Dare would know where he was dorming.
Fuck.
"You up woman?"
"M'not a woman!"
"Sure you aren't! Have you gotten me that sandwich yet?"
"I will never make you sandwich ever."
Percy forced Rachel to let go of him and stumbled slightly before regaining his balance. "So...What happened...All I remember is knocking and a creepy Asi–"
Suddenly, another voice let out an obnoxious laugh and Percy finally decided that it was a good idea to probably take notice of the other two men in the room. One looked like he was about to go out for a jog and rob Percy blind and the other looked like the embodiment of the sun with bright blond hair and was half-nak – ohmygodherememberednow.
"So," Rachel asked casually, throwing an arm around his shoulder. "How does it make you feel?"
"What makes me feel?"
"Seeing your first man naked."
He picked the arm off of him with a frown. "Are you challenged?"
Rachel stepped back and stroked her chin with her paint-splattered fingers, a rather annoying habit of hers. "Depends who you're asking."
The teenager only grunted in response and looked to the half-naked man and averted his eyes again. "So...Who are you?"
The half-naked man laughed and smiled brightly. Percy really wanted him to stop doing that. It was weirding him out.
"I'm Apollo. Phoebus Apollo – the most beautiful man you will probably ever see! Some say I am like a God, with my beautiful looks and powerful libido And that" Apollo said lazily, gesturing to the man behind him with a lazy wave of the hand that Percy was damn sure was manicured, "is my less than attractive friend turned broski, Hermes Kyllenios."
Hermes only rolled his eyes. "Says the man with the pimples on his back."
"They're freckles."
"Pimples."
"Freckles!"
"Pimples!"
"Freckles!"
"Piiiiiiiiiiiiimples!"
"They're my many, many beauty marks! Don't make fun of my gorgeous appearance."
Honestly, Hermes didn't answer to that and pushed past Apollo and shook Percy's hand. "I'm sorry for my friend's less than average intelligence. The sun has fried his brain well past the point of proper function. You know."
"At least I'm getting laid."
"At least I don't have more children then I can count."
"Just...Just shut up. You know–"
They were both interrupted by Rachel whistling loudly. "Whoa bros, whoa. Leave the pussy-slapping for bedroom. Now, would someone love to tell me and Percy about what the Hell is going on right now? Because you know, I wanna know."
Percy on the other hand, didn't really want to know what was going on. He wanted to go and he wanted his mother.
"I want my mother." He said blankly. "I want my mother, I want a blueberry chocolate cookie and I want the image of whatshisface's naked body out of my mind forever. Now, what, is going on?"
Apollo looked at Percy as it was obvious. But it was not obvious – this was Percy.
"Dude," Apollo laughed. "Dude, dude,like, dude! Homedog, you do know who we are, right? Riiiiight?"
"Um...Yeah. No."
Apollo snorted, but it sounded more like he was trying to giggle out of his nose. "We're your roommates!"
"No fucking way."
