A/N- So, I'm completely new to writing fanfic, but definitely not to reading them. I've actually been working on this story for a while, with original characters. But, I decided to change some things and make this about Bella, Edward and Jacob. That being said, this is non-canon, and all human. Hopefully, somebody will enjoy it. It moves a little slow in the first part of this chapter, but its completely necessary so you can understand this Bella.

With no further adieu, I give you my ideas about how this love triangle could have played out in real life.

I do not own Twilight or any of its character; but I would love to borrow Jacob for about a month.


"The paradox of vengefulness is that it makes men dependent upon those who have harmed them, believing that their release from pain will come only when their tormentors suffer."
― Laura Hillenbrand

Chapter 1

Don't make plans, make options

Looking at the building from the street, it lined the sky like the majority of architecture in New York. It was striking in a way, made up of steel and metal that glittered in the sun and beautiful double paned glass that reflected any one of the gorgeous views that surrounded it on all sides. In the right light, at the right time, it was breathtaking; seductive even with its promises of more to come, promises of what lay inside.

But deceptively so, because inside there was just as much about it that was, well, just like every other apartment building. The building had all the amenities; elevators, a pool, gym, laundry center, and a lounge. Of course it did, it had a reputation to live up to in this area of New York; Morningside. The actual apartments inside were pretty close to identical, down to the same color pallet that came standard upon occupancy. The only individuality lay within the ability of each tenant to create something different, if they chose to.

So, going up to the eighth floor and walking into the second apartment on the right, the initial observation was that this tenant was just like everybody else.

The living room was painted in neutral colors, beiges and creams. There was a sofa, small chair, end tables and a fireplace. Two pictures mounted the wall behind the sofa, looking eerily similar to something located in a doctor's office. There was nothing really special about it; it was nice, but left no lasting impression. It was generic even, reminiscent of someone who wanted to look like everyone else, who wanted to blend in.

Walking a little down the hallway on the left, there was the kitchen. The look shifted slightly; there seemed to be a point of view trying to emerge in this room, even if it was subtle. The cabinets were the faintest shade of grey, barely tinted with color. The walls were a deep shade of platinum and all the appliances were black. Every gadget in this room was state of the art, no expense spared. But, it looked like it was hardly ever used. Oh, the items, appliances and setup indicated that the owner knew what they were doing in the kitchen, but this area seemed mournfully neglected. Whoever lived here could handle the complicated delicacies of cooking, but didn't have the time to.

And while this room screamed sleek and sophisticated, there was still something missing. The picture presenting itself so far of this tenant seemed incomplete and purposefully misleading.

Then, at the end of the hallway, there was the bedroom. Since it was the only closed door in the apartment, it was obvious that no one was allowed here, period.

Walking through the beige door leading to the bedroom, it was instantly apparent that this room had something to say, this room had a point of view. The oak bedroom furniture was subtle, not too fancy; but modern enough to work. The bed was queen sized, set up directly in the middle of the room against the back wall, almost as if it were the heart and pulse of its surroundings. Money had been no limit when buying the linen for it, wanting this piece to be beautifully decorated with luxurious fabrics and over-sized pillows. It was the first thing your eyes were drawn to when the bedroom door opened.

A small reading area had been created in the corner, on the opposite wall from the bed; which simply included a red armchair, a small table and a floor lamp. Even to the untrained eye it was obvious that this reading area was used very often. The entire room had been painstakingly decorated in dark browns, gold and red; crimson to be exact. Sometimes, at certain times of the day, the room would look like it was actually on fire. It suggested an occupant that was warm and comforting if you were allowed in, but also fiery and passionate at the same time.

The contrast between this private space and the rest of the apartment was intriguing. There was no doubt that getting past all the layers to find this person would be a hell of a ride and totally worth it. Funny thing is, the actual tenant of this apartment couldn't have disagreed more with that statement right now.

Because to her, it was official. Her life was boring, she was boring.

Isabella Swan let out an exasperated sigh as she looked around her bedroom. She had always liked it in here, it was quiet, warm but efficient, cozy; it was her. But lately, it was… boring. It didn't speak to her soul anymore, didn't renew her and refresh her after the daily grind that was life. She had created this room for that purpose, a type of sanctuary; a place where she could be safe and inspired, all at the same time.

She had poured every ounce of herself into the adornment of this room. And she had been proud of the final effect. Now she felt like she had created a dungeon, her own personal torture chamber full of misery and boredom. Not even her special corner had provided much comfort lately. She loved to read, loved a good book where she could get lost in it all. She often fell asleep in this corner after reading, wrapped underneath her favorite blanket.

But, there was no escaping this, no getting lost from this. She realized that she was letting her feelings cause her to second guess her choices again. That had been happening quite frequently lately.

"Sigh."

She hadn't always been this way; at least she didn't remember being this way all the time. Truth be told, she had been different for a while now, especially since he had walked away and left her picking up the pieces. Bella's thoughts involuntarily flickered towards him and she shook her head to try and clear them out. She couldn't go back to that place, she was over that, over him and he didn't deserve one more ounce of her concentration. But, Bella couldn't deny that he had it.

The natural light coming from the large window on the back wall inside her bedroom was gradually fading, silently retreating across the wooden floor. The hour was growing later. It was Saturday and if she was going out tonight, she needed to get ready.

"What's the point?" Bella mumbled to herself.

Most of her friends had become increasingly shallow and desperate, trying to find someone before graduation. The guys they picked up always turned out to be losers, something she usually tried to tell them before they gave in. But, according to her friends, she wasn't serious enough about the dating game to be allowed to give advice. Well, she did have some advice alright…get a damn cat. That way when they were ignored or the guy walked away, it wouldn't be so much of a surprise.

That settled it, she wasn't going. Bella was finishing up a Dual Master's Degree in International Affairs and Business Administration at Columbia University. This was her last weekend of freedom before classes began on Monday. She decided that she wasn't going to spend it being miserable and bored out of her mind at a club. Those places were always filled with a bunch of guys who were looking for a quick thrill or somebody to take care of them.

Bella laughed out loud; she could be miserable and boring all by her damn self. She didn't need any help with that. Leah was going to be pissed that she wasn't coming, a thought that almost made her rethink staying behind. Bella loved Leah like a sister; but even that wasn't enough to force her to the club this time.

"The others will keep Leah busy; I'll deal with her tantrum in the morning."

Bella tried to decide what she was going to do the rest of the night, which was making her head hurt. Being a 25 yr old, single student with the world ahead, left her with tons of options.

Again, she laughed out loud. Who the hell was she kidding? "Options, what options?" Bella muttered. She was doubting herself again.

She turned her IPod on and hit the symbol with the two arrows crossing over each other; Bella loved music because it always had this way of complementing her mood or changing that mood if she needed to. Today would be no different. She needed to get her mind on other things.

As she was looking through her closet, she heard the soft tinkling noise of the piano keys start to play. At first, she was so focused on trying to decide her next move that she hadn't really been listening to the song. And as she evaluated the best combinations of attire for the evening that her wardrobe could provide, she froze. That haunting melody, the one she had played over and over when they broke up, was on.

"Of course," Bella whispered.

"Cause I can't make you love me if you don't,

You can't make your heart feel, something it won't"

"Dammit! I shouldn't have hit the shuffle option," she grumbled under her breath. Walking across the room quickly, she turned it off. She couldn't afford to let her emotions catch up with the thoughts that those words had put into her mind. She couldn't, it was too painful, too recent still, too real. "Breathe, take a deep breath, breathe." She had to literally command her body to cooperate. It was fighting against her, wanting to release the pain and heartache she had been holding onto for the last three months.

Bella had not really allowed herself to fully process the pain and hurt from their break up. Instead, she had let it fester, slowly seeping into her mind and heart a little at a time. It was never completely crippling. No, even the grief he caused her wasn't sympathetic to her needs. It waited for her day after day over the last couple of months, reminding her of what had been; instead of overcoming her one good time and moving on.

"Has it really been that long?" Bella asked herself out loud. She stood still. The realization of the question and its answer shook her to her core. Her life had come to a slow, painful crawl because of this? She had let someone else have enough power over her life and her heart, that it had changed her? What did that say about her future, if she wouldn't let go of her past? How could she be ready for anything else, if she couldn't deal with this?

"What the hell?"

Bella was no stranger to grief and loss. Her mother had died over ten years ago, becoming suddenly ill on a business trip with Bella's father. They had flown back and admitted her to the hospital where she had suffered for days, lingering on the brink of death, before she had finally succumbed to the pain. She had taken a piece of Bella with her, when she died. Bella had been devastated, of course.

There were so many unanswered questions at the time about what had actually happened and no one seemed to know what to tell her. Even more crippling was that Bella was a 14 yr old teenage girl, right in the middle of puberty, dating and insecurity when she lost her mother; it had been extremely difficult to get over it all.

But, she had moved forward from that tremendous loss and now, she was stuck? Stuck over a man who had, who had… Bella couldn't bring herself to complete that thought. She may have been ready to remember who she was, but she wasn't ready to remember who she had thought he was and what he had done. And she knew within herself that it was a problem. She had to figure out the entire plan to work through this, and fast. Closing her eyes, she whispered the last thing that she had said to him.

"You'll be back. Count on it."

And Bella was counting on that fact, simply because, well, it was a fact. As she thought back on all the relationships she had ever been in, they had always tried to come back. Always.

And she was going to make him pay for it, when he did.


A/N- so if you like it, don't like, not sure... please review. I'm a big girl, I can take it. Thanks