Somewhere in the Middle: Touya Kouyo

Disclaimer: I don't own HnG. Yumi Hotta has that honor.

It's hard to stay in a formal mindset, but I thought that was the best for this POV piece. Please let me know what you think. 

This time Akira was the one who received the call from Shindo. I called a halt to the discussion as my son raced into the room. His color was high and his eyes flashed angrily.

"I'm sorry." He apologized to the gathered Go professionals with a slight bow. "Father, Shindo's grandfather has collapsed again and is being taken to the hospital. I am going to go and sit with him."

I nodded and rose from my kneeling position. "I will join you. Please let your mother know." My son hurried from the room as I turned to my guests. Young Ashiwara had a delightedly confused look on his face.

"Shindo," He questioned. "Isn't that the one whose parent's …." He broke off with a flushed face, afraid of being rude.

"Yes." I agreed, answering the unasked question. "He and Akira have grown quite close since his parents' unfortunate accident. I had made him promise to notify us incase anything ever occurred again."

"Akira does seem quite upset." Ogata commented looking towards the door my son had disappeared through.

"He is angry. Misfortune never seems quite fair to the young." I myself felt the stirrings of anger towards fate as well, but tamped it back into place. I know myself well enough to understand that it was my own fears that bred the anger.

My own family had been sorely stressed by Shindo-kun's misfortune. Akira had been tense and angry as of late. My wife seemed to be both scared and sad for the young boy. Both of their moods were a result to Shindo's own suffering. Akiko knew that her reaction was normal and allowed her emotions to process freely so that she could remain healthy for her family.

Akira though, was another matter. He was confused and could not seem to come to terms with his anger. I would need to speak with him soon to help him understand the true loss that was the source of his anger.

It was possible that Akira had never dealt with the anger that he must have felt after my own collapse last summer. Perhaps that was why his friend's misfortune seemed to agitate him so much. It was similar to his own experience. To face the loss of a parent and to be able to do nothing, it is a terrible thing.

Akira still very much had a child's view of the world, even though it was being challenged by his maturing mind. As a child he could not help but feel that it was unfair for his friend to be hurt so horridly. His mind however had long ago acknowledged the simple truth. Life is not fair. Akira seemed to have trouble still reconciling that truth within him. Yes, I would need to speak with him soon.

I turned to my companions to make my excuses. Ogata had stood and was folding his suit jacket over his forearm.

"Shindo," He said thoughtfully. "I think I should go along with you." I indicated that he was welcome with a nod. "Do you mind, Ashiwara?" Ogata had driven Ashiwara to my home.

"Huh? Oh, no! Actually, I was wondering if maybe I should come to?" He asked as he set the go bowls on the goban. "This seems very important to Akira-kun."

I was very touched. These men cared so greatly for my son that they would stay his side even under such odd circumstances. I took comfort in the fact that these men would look after my son and guide him, even if my wife were abroad and unavailable to him.

"I'll take you there." Ogata answered the younger man.

"Kouyo," My wife called to me as she entered the room. "Kouyo, I would like to join you and Akira as well. I have already called for a taxi."

"We can go ahead with Akira." Offered Ogata. "I don't think he'll want to spend the time waiting." Akiko smiled at the younger man in agreement.

"I hope Shindo-san will be all right and that this is not serious."

Akira returned to the room wearing his winter clothes. "I hope the taxi comes soon. Shindo will be unmanageable if he has to sit in that hospital alone for very long."

I remembered the stark look of relief at seeing us that I had seen on Shindo-kun's face the last time he had been in the hospital. Silently, I found myself agreeing with my son.

"You will be going ahead Ogata-san and Ashiwara-san. Your mother and I will follow behind." Akira seemed relieved at this statement and went eagerly to Ogata's side.

"Thank you, Ogata-san, Ashiwara-san. I'm sure Shindo will be very happy to have you there. He seems to cope better when people he knows are nearby."

"We'll go ahead then, Akiko-San, Touya-Sensei." Ogata bowed himself out and left with Akira following closely at his heels. Ashiwara nodded to my wife and me and followed them out.

I held my hand out to my wife and returned to the kneeling cushions. We sat as my wife asked, "What will Hikaru-kun do if his grandfather has to remain in the hospital? I don't like the idea of him being alone right now."

"I agree. Shindo-kun has not been managing well when he has been left alone." Personally, I blamed the unfeeling hospital staff to his sudden aversion. They had left the boy nearly completely alone with his pain.

"I think that it would be best if he came to stay with us." My wife always amazed me with the depth of her caring heart.

"I think that may be best. He does seem most comfortable with Akira's presence."

"We have the room, and he doesn't seem like he will be any problem. He seemed to be a very good boy."

I smiled gently at her. "I agree." I said again, simply. "Akira's opinion should be sought as well. Especially if something does happen to his grandfather and this becomes an extended stay. He may not feel comfortable with having his 'rival' under the same roof as himself."

"I think Akira will agree. He seems very concerned with Shindo-kun. Besides, he is the only person of his age he spends any real time in their company. They are as much friends as rivals." Akiko seemed to be determined in this course of action.

"I will speak with him tonight at the hospital." I changed the subject. "Come let us prepare. The taxi should be here for us momentarily."

After changing to our winter attire we rode in the taxi to the hospital. We proceeded quickly to the hospital ICU ward after checking in with the hospital staff. We had been warned that Shindo-san's condition was quite serious. When we reached the waiting room my wife went immediately to Shindo-kun's side at sat holding his hand. I motioned for Akira t o join me and stepped a little ways down the hall. My son soon joined me and began to fill me in on the day's events.

"His grandfather collapsed again. Shindo says that he complained of chest pains and seemed to have problems breathing. Ogata-Sensei, Ashiwara-san and I arrived just as the ambulance brought Shindo-san in.

Ashiwara was kind enough to call everyone who had asked to be notified if something occurred again. Shindo had all their numbers on cards in his wallet. Ogata-san suggested that no one else come to sit with Shindo since all of us are here. I think Morishita-sensei and Waya-san will be coming though."

I nodded as I listened to his hushed words. "Akira, it is very likely that Shindo-san will not be leaving the hospital this time." I tried to be gentle.

Akira's eyes grew wide and a look of horror passed over his features. "But, but Shindo needs him! He's the only family he has left!" His voiced was high pitched as he protested. I laid my hand on his shoulder and looked into his eyes.

"The doctors say that his condition is much worse. He may not make it through the night." My son's eye's closed tight and he brought his hands up to press on his mouth.

"But, Shindo…" He said, muffled.

"Shindo has not been made aware of this yet. The doctor's wanted to wait for some final tests had been returned and they were more aware of Shindo-san's full condition." Akira shook his head and took a few deep, calming breaths. I decided that now would probably be the best time to broach the subject.

"Akira, your mother and I wished to speak to you about another matter as well." My son looked confused but nodded. "We think it would be best if Shindo-kun came to live with us for a time." I held up my hand to forestall any comments. "He is of course, as a Go professional, able to claim emancipation. He has the means to and the resources available to be able to support his self. However, your mother and I both feel that Shindo has had far too many disrupt ions in his life to be able to cope well with such an undertaking at this time. We both feel that you and he have reached a level of mutual respect for one another that you would not feel too …." I paused to find the appropriate words. "... uncomfortable in each other's presence."

Akira frowned in thought and looked at the floor.

"Of course, we will not extend the invitation if you do not wish us to, Akira. I know that you and Shindo-kun have something of a tempestuous relationship." Akira glanced back up at me."

"You mean that we disagree a lot." He qualified. "I don't think it's a good idea." I was a bit surprised. I hadn't really expected my son to dislike the idea of extending our home to Shindo-kun. "I think that it is too soon to ask Shindo this, father. He has too many directions that he his being pulled in right now. I don't think that he will react well to your invitation."

Aaah, I should have known. It wasn't Shindo's presence in our home that that he disagreed with. I asked, "What would you suggest?"

"I think you should ask him to come stay with us tonight, but don't make him decide if he wants to stay permanently right now. Actually, maybe I should ask him. That may make him more comfortable."

I thought about this for a moment. It was a good plan. I would allow Akira to make the first overtures to the other boy. It would probably be for the best. I informed my son that I agreed with his plan and suggested that he go make the invitation to Shindo before the doctor's arrived with the news of his grandfather. Proudly, I watched my son walk back to the waiting room. He was growing up to be a fine man. A moment later Akiko came out to join me in the hall.

"Shindo-kun has agreed stay the night with us." She informed e worriedly. "Did you decide not to allow him to stay after all?" I shook my head 'no' and explained.

"Akira thought that that may be too much of a decision to make right now. I agreed with him. We will extend the invitation after events have settled somewhat."

My wife nodded.

"I see now. That was a good idea. The child already has enough to worry about." She sat down in one of the chairs that lined the hallway. After a moment I joined her.

"How long will the doctors make him wait before they tell him about his grandfather?" She wondered helplessly. She turned towards me in her seat. "The waiting was the hardest part, Kouyo. The waiting and not knowing."

I felt badly. Was this what my own family had gone through after my collapse last summer? I patted Akiko's hand on the armrest beside me. "I'll go see if they can talk to him now." I stated and stood up. "I should be back in a few moments."

"I'll head back then, and wait for you there."

I made my way to the reception desk and spoke with the attendant there. The staff had apparently been waiting for an adult family member to arrive before paging the doctor to come and speak with them. Politely I informed them that Shindo Hikaru was the only relative in the immediate area who would be arriving for Shindo-san.

The nurse apologized profusely and informed me that she would page a physician right away. I returned to the waiting room mildly annoyed. How long would they have made Shindo-kun wait? Entering the room, I nodded in recognition to Ogata who stood leaning against a wall and made my way over to the boy.

"Shindo." I had his attention. "I spoke with a nurse. A doctor should be here in a moment to explain what is happening." The boy looked very grateful and nodded.

"Touya-sensei thank you. Thank you for allowing me to come stay at your home tonight and for helping here."

"You are welcome." I said simply and crossed over to Ashiwara. He was sitting beside a rain streaked window looking a little uncomfortable and out of place. I stood beside him and folded my hands and arms into the sleeves of my robe. Akiko was correct. The hardest part was the waiting.