A/N: Hi there! This one-shot is loosely based off the song Lost Year by MuteMath and is my take on what Sam felt/thought throughout season 3. Listen to it, it makes the story better (I think). Enjoy!
-Mental
Lost Year
One year. That's all that black-eyed bitch gave you; one short year. How am I supposed to survive when you're gone, Dean? How can I be expected to keep hunting and keep myself alive when you'll be in Hell? I guess I'll just have to become you, then. Because nothing in our lives has been easy; we suffer and we bleed for our hearts to keep beating, day in and day out. We've learned as we go, and now we know what we can't become. We can't turn into dad, Dean; it'll only kill us faster. But a simple talk can't solve this, not that you'd talk about it even if I got you mad enough. But for this year we'll be strong and courageous, though we know we'll lose somehow. There's no winning here; not for me and sure as Hell not for you. You're my brother Dean, the last family I've got aside from Bobby; and I can't just stand around and not do SOMETHING, ANYTHING, to save you from this. I feel like I'm running around in circles trying to find a way to break your deal, but if there was something to save us from this, I can't find it. You can't die on me Dean, not now when I've finally started to be myself again. If you thought Jess's death was hard on me, then you know what this will do. I'll shatter, with no one but Bobby and me to pick up the pieces.
There's no luck left for us now; you're dead. No sight in your eyes to keep me from harm's way, because God knows I sure know how to find it. I'll keep searching Dean; I won't stop until there I'm dead too. I know you'd knock the shit out of me for all this, but I can't give up, I can't. I will save you Dean; if it's the last thing I ever do.
Be strong Dean; I'm coming for you.
