Author's Note: Hee, I felt like doing a one-shot! Threw this whole fanfictogether afteran idea I had reading a line one of the Mideel villagers says when you return while Cloud is still in his wheelchair. Everything besides the first scene is written from Cloud's perspective. The events aren't in chronological order, so I hope things don't get too messy. Enjoy!
Disclaimer: I don't own Final Fantasy VII. If I did, all our pretty boys would be prancing around in even prettier dresses. :cackles:
Timeless
Like the ghost of a dear friend dead
Is Time long past.
A tone which is now forever fled,
A hope which is now forever past,
A love so sweet it could not last,
Was Time long past.
Age sure has caught up, it amazes me how the years flew by. Time is cruel, isn't it? Now I spend my afternoons with a close friend of mine, making idle conversation on the streets as we near the twilight of our lives. Perhaps that time is almost here, with that huge moon looming in the sky. Someone's approaching, I think he was here a few days ago. He's not a youth any longer, either. And he should hold back on the cigarettes, not that it might matter anymore. Maybe we should invite him to afternoon tea someday.
"So how's the boy?" I ask him. "Poor kid. He sure got the worst of whatever it was… Sure hope he gets better soon. Right now is when he really needs to hold on and not give up."
My friend joins us, he was always a talker, "It's amazing he recovered. When they carried him here after they first discovered him, I thought for sure he was a goner. That boy must have one powerful guardian angel watchin' over him."
Well, I suppose he does…
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It's been a year, and I'm still here. I wonder what I'm doing in this place, actually. Spending all my moments of freedom. On occasion I believe that there will come a time when we're all laid to dust, when all our eyes are closed, when even the ghosts are gone, but even then I will still remain here, waiting for you. They called me the other day, the rest. Asked if I wanted to go to where you… died. But I can't bring myself to go back there, I'm not ready yet, I guess. So I'm here in this church again, just like before, except it's raining today. Someone told me once that the rain connects heaven to the earth. I wonder, is it true? As I finger this ribbon I have around my arm, all I can think of is you. Is that so wrong?
It's cold today. Freezing. I close my eyes and in a moment I'm gone, whisked to somewhere far away. It's still freezing... I'm with Tifa now, that night beneath the Highwind, yet all I can think of is you.
"No matter how close we are now... We were far apart before."
I stood just steps from Tifa, and yet all I could do was stare off into the darkened sky, wondering where you could be. Were you dancing among the stars? Yet how could you be, when you remain in my heart?
"But when we were in the Lifestream surrounded by all those screams of anguish, I thought I heard your voice..."
Voices? They fill my head all the time.
"... you probably don't remember this..."
"But deep in my heart I heard you calling my name... Or at least I thought I did..."
She was right, I didn't remember, not much… Everything was still a blur at that point. Well if Tifa thought she did, it had to be true, right?
"I see. I think I've heard it, too. Then, it was Tifa's voice." Was it? Then why was something deep inside struggling to tell me that there was more to it than that? Screaming silent whispers that I can't seem to make sense of. '…Won't you forget me?' What? Say that again dear, I can hardly understand.
I've drifted off again, barely paying attention to the conversation any longer, staring off into the billions of stars watching over us. What was I searching for? I scarcely understood anything.
"I'll find the answer some day, as long as I keep trying." Even now, I ask myself that same question. What am I searching for? I scarcely understand…
We decide to turn in for the night and Tifa rests her head on my shoulder as we sit on the grassy knoll. I close my eyes, and for a moment, I think I'm there with you…
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Collapsed on the water tower, barely able to breathe. I feel myself in third person, my consciousness detached from my being. I hear the sound of boots against ladder rungs echoing through my mind. Someone is approaching me, could it be you? …Who are you?
I can just make out a silhouette, a figure so familiar yet its form is forgotten to me.
"Hello, Cloud."
You, who are you? Heaven knows you've come to save me from this place.The figure crouches down and lifts my chin. "Who are you waiting for?"
My mouth moves to answer, and I chide myself for such whimsical thinking. Of course it was her, who else could it be? "…Ti…"
Stop. That's not right. I can't make out your face, but the scent of freshly cut flowers is unmistakable. It's you… or at least, I pray it is. I feel this body blink once, then desperately struggle out of its paralysis. "A… Aerith."
My vision fails me, but in my soul I feel the grief that crosses your features. Don't cry for me, dear…
My eyes continue to stare off into the distance, vacant. Then I hear it, your voice, from a time long past. "Come back to me."
And everything else shatters.
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Snapped back to reality, I curse the coldness I feel after my moment's reprieve. Time seems to have flown by, its footsteps still echoing in the distance as I lay crumpled in the dust left behind. I gaze at the rays of sunlight bleeding into the darkened sky. "…It's almost dawn..."
"Just a little longer… a little bit longer. This day will never come again... So let me have this moment..." Tifa trails off and rests her head on my shoulder once more.
I close my eyes, only for a moment and the moment's gone… Gone to that faraway world where there's only you and me, and everything else is simply a blur of memories too complicated for me to grasp.
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"Can I hold you?" I nod slowly and you pull my young self into your embrace protectively. Then I pray that, when time catches up, I won't have to let you go.
"Who am I to you?" I hear my young self ask.
You let out a soft breath of air. "Let's just say I care about you very, very much."
You hold me closer and I feel you sniff my hair. "You smell like cakes and honey, so different from other boys. You're close to your mother, aren't you?"
Mother… I remember seeing yours. She looked just like you.
"What are you going to tape? Is there still something I haven't mentioned?"
The camera was spoilt on one occasion, but I could just picture you in her arms.
"No, that's not it. I'm going to record my beautiful daughter. And when she's sleeping, her face... looks like an angel."
So full of life, yet all I could think of was that one day, you were going to die. Today… You would die. The camera is a funny thing, isn't it? A form of time travel, almost. Giving us a glimpse of the past. I felt like screaming out to you, the young you. Would you have heard me? If I yelled loud enough, would something inside you remember me? I wanted to tell you to run should you see me approaching you on an altar. Had I screamed just now, would you have run back into my arms? Or would you still fall into them like you had? Perhaps I should be telling you never to leave me, never to run off on your own? Or that when you see a blonde-haired SOLDIER crashing through the roof of your Church, to run and never look back? I wanted to scream you so many desperate warnings, to tell you everything, yet I ended up saying… nothing. I did as I had, just hours ago, moments ago… No, an eternity ago. I simply stood by and did… absolutely nothing.
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It's still raining, and I walk through the curtain of water. I remember how you used to love the rain. You asked me to dance with you once, remember? It was our first night out of Midgar. I refused to at first, I was afraid you'd fall ill. Then you said… You said, "I'd love to dance with you, in the rain. Just this once." I don't know why, but hearing that terrified me. Yet I went to you anyway. You told me that it didn't rain in Midgar, that you loved how the rain smelt that night, that it was the scent of freedom. And all I could do was worry that you were going to catch a cold.
"Stay with me in the rain."
"No, you've had enough. We're going in."
"Oh all right, all right."
I wouldn't trade that night for anything, my only regret is not asking you for one more dance. Aerith, the plate is gone. It's raining now, can't you see? Come back, dance with me again. Just this once.
I close my eyes as the rain comes down. It's cold, wet… dark. I've been here before. Yes, it's all coming back to me now. The Lifestream… except this time it's different. I remember, yet I've forgotten. A secret memory no one else must know. I'm afraid, but I watch anyway. Then again, I guess I've known this all along…
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"Won't you forget me?" You ask me, as if it were nothing at all. Did you really think that was all you were to me? Nothing at all…?
"What?" I ask, saddened.
"Just for now, could you forget me? It's notthat hard, right?" You bite down on your lip as you say this, and crumple the fabric of my turtleneck in your hands.
I turn away. "No, it's impossible."
"You're hurting, Cloud. If you forgot all that happened between us, maybe…"
"No, I refuse to." I pause. I know nothing of my past, or whether I even have one. But I know my feelings for you are real, "Even if it pains me to remember… You're all I have left."
You hold me close and for a moment I forget why I was upset. "Right now, you have to make peace with Tifa. She'll be here, in time. They'll rescue you soon. I'll do what I can to make Tifa say what you have to hear… But you can't heal, if you're tearing yourself up over me."
You cup my face in your hands and gaze straight into my eyes. For just a moment my soul feels naked, and I have nothing left to hide. Now I see the dewdrops in your eyes, and they make mine roll down as well. "I'd rather you forget me and smile, than remember and be sad."
My lips curl upwards slightly and my change of expression squeezes the last of the tears away. "No, I'd be glad that you chose to stay."
You fall into my arms and I'm grateful that you've put those delirious thoughts away. I feel you tremble slightly against me. "What's wrong?" I ask.
"Sephiroth's trapped Holy in the North Crater, so my soul is tied there as well." And as you speak, I feel you grow even more fragile in my arms.
"But if it'd make you happy, then I'll stay right here with you. If perhaps I faded away, I'd still be glad. My last thought would be of you." You were pale, just like an angel taking flight.
Now, I remember the gravity of the situation in the real world. I remember that everything there apparently needs us, there in that fleeting world. A world that in some strange way keeps calling to us. Us, the most fleeting of all.
"Then go… Leave me here. I love you too much to make you stay." My heart bled, but that was nothing new to me these days.
You pause to let what I'd said sink in, then you hold myself to you one last time. "You'll remember all this someday. When it's time, when you're ready."
I grab your arm as you pull away. "Promise me you'll stay by my side."
You take my hands in yours and hold them to your heart. "Of course. I'm yours, always and never."
"You have me, forever."
Your fingertips begin to glow as you press them against my forehead. I feel my new memories of you fading away, like stars sprinkled in the sky, forgotten when the sun appears.
"Cloud Strife, don't you forget me."
"Never…"………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………
The rain has stopped. As I lie here, broken, staring into the sky… I think I see you.
"Hello, hello? You okay?"
You looked so delicate, fragile even. But I still thought you were going to save my life…
"The roof and the flower bed must have broken your fall. You're lucky."
Lucky? Sometimes I wonder, had we never met, how different things would have been…
"…So we meet again. Don't you remember me?"
Of course I did. You were selling flowers, how could I forget. We were young then, young and stupid. That day in the Church, I thought we'd be together always.
Maybe I was lucky. Well, I guess I'm still stupid. Had I known my heart would break, I would have loved you anyway.
As I lie here, broken, staring into the sky… I think I still see you.
I know I'm not remembering you. I'm there, in both moments simultaneously, and in this instant I think I see my life folding in on itself. Now it's obvious to me: Time is a lie. All this is happening, all the time, and inside each moment is another moment. We are the sum of all the moments of our lives, of all the moments I've spent with you.
As I lie here, broken, staring into the sky… I think I'll always see you.
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"That boy must have one powerful guardian angel watchin' over him."
Well, I suppose he does…
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There were sweet dreams in the night
Of Time long past:
And, was it sadness or delight,
Each day a shadow onward cast
Which made us wish it yet might last--
That Time long past.
-- Percy Bysshe Shelley, Time Long PastAuthor's Note: All the lines that were taken from the original script were not altered. Well some of you might not agree with the script for the night under the Highwind as there are different versions for that scene, depending on how you treated the girls. Oh, I've uploaded the opening movie for Itadaki Street Special on the CloudxAerith Forum. A good part of it is the two of them walking around together, it's really cute! You can find links to the forum from Destiny Fulfilled, Hikari etc. On my other fic, Advent of Dreams, I've tossed a coin and finally decided on the ending, so I'll be writing the chapters soon. Thanks for all the love and feel free to give me any suggestions! Till then:hugs, kisses and glomps:
