AN: This is definitely the angstiest thing I've ever written for the CB fandom, so prepare yourself. It's only a one-shot, fyi.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

A Drunken Promise

Blair saw red when she looked down at her vibrating phone.

Incoming call: Chuck Bass.

What the fuck was his problem? She said she was done and she meant it. After the elevator incident, Blair decided that cutting Chuck out of her life completely was the only way she'd ever forget that she lov—cared about him. He didn't deserve her love. And he certainly didn't value it if he was able to carry on the way he did with those women. Jack or no Jack, Blair couldn't trust Chuck with her heart. She was a fool to ever think otherwise.

This was the second time in two days he was calling her. After two weeks of silence, he had the audacity to and contact her. Last night, she refused to answer the phone. This morning, she refused to listen to her voicemail. But right now, she was fed up. Who did he think he was anyways?

She knew the answer to that of course, he was Chuck Bass. But she was Blair Waldorf and it was about time he let that sink in.

Against her better judgment, she lifted the phone to her ear.

"What?" she demanded. It wasn't a greeting. He didn't deserve one.

"Blair?" he asked in a groggy voice.

"No it's the Pope" she bit out. Was he hung over? Of course he was.

"Did I…did I call you last night?" he asked.

Seriously? She was a drunk-dial he couldn't even remember?

"Yes" she said flatly.

"What…uh, what did I say?" he asked hesitantly.

"I don't know Chuck, I didn't answer" she told him, feeling very much like she wanted to hang up without another word.

"Oh. I guess that makes sense" he said "Did I leave a message?"

"Yes. But I haven't listened to it. Why are you calling me?" she demanded.

"I just woke up in some hotel; I have no memory of where I am or what I did last night" he said.

"Don't you mean who?" she corrected.

"Yeah, that too" he said quietly.

Blair felt the familiar sting of bile rising in her throat.

"I checked my phone log and saw that I called you last night. I thought maybe…you know what, forget it. I'm sorry to have bothered you" he said.

Blair did say anything at first.

"Wait" she said before he could hang up "I'll listen to your message and call you back."

She didn't wait for his response before she ended the call.

Dialing the number for her voicemail, Blair felt her heart start to race in anticipation.

And that's when she heard his voice.

"Blair? Blair? Why didn't you pick up the phone Blair? I'm here with Shelia, but I don't want to talk to her. I just wanna talk to you, Blairrrrrrr."

She felt herself shiver at the sound of his voice. Chuck wasn't a sloppy drunk; he rarely slurred his words. Mostly, he just got really angry. Blair had heard Chuck drunk before, but this time was different. There was a sadness in his tone that broke her heart and angered her at the same time.

"You're gonna be my wife someday, you know that?"

Blair stopped breathing. There was no longer any loathing in his voice when he said the word "wife." He sounded so matter of fact, like he was saying the most obvious statement in the world.

"You will be…you have to be" he continued "because I love you."

Tears flooded her eyes so fast she didn't register what was happened to her. Why now? Why, like this? On the phone in some drunken ramble? What did she do to deserve this punishment? She hated Chuck Bass more in that moment than she ever had before.

"I love you so much it makes me cry, thinking about you leaving me… but you can't leave me, Blair, cause I couldn't bear it. Isn't that what you said to me? That night I almost killed myself…"

Hot tears were now streaming fiercely down her face. The memory of that night continued to haunt her on a nightly basis. She knew how close she was to losing him that night, but never before did the notion of him actually wanting to kill himself enter her mind. She hoped it was just a desperate cry for help. But he just confirmed otherwise.

"I'm such a fucking screw up" he choked out "I know it… but you can't stop believing in me. You're my only chance. I can't apologize anymore, I know it won't change anything right now…but I can promise you someday I'll change."

His voice broke then, and Blair knew he was crying too.

"I will."

He said it with such conviction that she almost believed him.

"Someday I'll be your husband and you'll be my wife because we have to be" he rasped "Chuck and Blair, Blair and Chuck."

Blair began to sob openly now, resting her weight against the wall she allowed herself to gracefully crumble to the floor.

"And we'll have all the kids you want and we'll love them the way our parents could never love us, okay Blair?" he cried.

"Okay, Chuck, okay" she whispered out loud, falling apart even further. She thought about Bart and Eleanor. That wasn't who they were. That would never be who they were. They were Chuck and Blair. No one else.

"And we'll never give our kids reason to hate us" he confirmed, as if reading her thoughts.

Never, Blair repeated silently. It was a promise. It was a vow.

"And I'll love you forever, Blair, because it's all I've ever known" he finished.

The line went dead.

Blair dropped the phone beside her and curled up on the floor. Hugging her knees to her chest, she willed herself to calm down as she absorbed everything Chuck had confessed to her the night before. Why didn't she answer the phone? Would he have said the same thing? Would they be together right now?

She buried her face in her hands trying desperately to muffle the sound of her sobs which were bouncing off the marbled walls. She had never been so glad to be home along.

Pulling herself up, she ran to the bathroom and did the only thing she knew how to do. The only thing that gave her comfort. Relief. Control.

After she was done, she went back downstairs and picked up her phone. She took a few deep breaths before hitting his number on her speed-dial. She may have said she was done, but she still hadn't deleted him from her life.

"Hello?" he asked in the same quiet voice.

"I listened to your message" she began.

"And?"

Blair thought about what to say next. This was her opening to either tell him everything or nothing at all. The ball was in her court.

"It was just a drunken ramble; I couldn't make out half the things you said. Something about a party maybe" she said as evenly as possible, despite the shakiness that remained in her voice.

"Oh" he whispered "Well thanks anyways. I'm sorry to have called you."

"Chuck?" she asked after a moment.

"Yes?" she hated the sound of hope in his hung-over voice.

"You mentioned being with a Shelia" Blair said "If that helps."

"Shelia" Chuck said sadly "okay."

"Is that all?" Blair asked, knowing full-well there was plenty more to say.

"I think so" he said.

"I should go then" she said.

"Blair wait—" Chuck tried, but it was too late.

She hung up.

Blair sat back down on the floor and stared straight ahead. She said to herself that she wouldn't get up again until she could make sense of her life again.

Four hours later when her mother got home from work, she was still on the floor.

"Blair, what's wrong?" Eleanor asked.

"Nothing" she said in a hoarse voice "everything's the same."

FIN.