FF #4 Challenge: What if Kitty really had been pregnant in Season 3?
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Kitty lightly touched her tummy as if what she suspected was only a dream. She knew it wasn't because she counted the days since and remembered that special night she and Red celebrated the Packer's winning touchdown. It was a glorious night and Red was so frisky! She giggled to herself and opened the kitchen door.
Kitty picked up a bowl of Swedish Meatballs and carried them to the table. "So, anybody hungry?"
Red and Steven replied, "Yeah."
Her son, Eric. Her special baby added, "Smells good." Kitty smiled and sat down. Three sets of hands reached for her big green bowl. Kitty slapped Eric's hand. "Ladies first." Gosh, the meatballs smelled so good, Kitty spooned nearly three fourths of the meatballs onto her plate.
Eric's mouth fell open. "Or ladies only." Was mom really going to eat all of that?"
Red and Steven looked at her plate in shock. Kitty set down her fork. "Oh, well…er, well it's not all for me." She set the bowl in the middle of the table next to the buttered noodles. "I'm eating for two now." There was a dumb look on the three men's faces. "I'm pregnant!"
Steven put a finger in his ear. Did he hear what he thought he heard? "What?" Eric looked at his mom's smiling face, "What?"
Red had seen that expression twice in his life. "Oh, God. No!" He looked at his wife who was starting to look upset and quickly added, "I mean….great….just great." The diners around the table all took in the gravity of the moment. Red had a light bulb moment. "Kitty, are you sure you're….you're…." it was hard to say the word. "…pregnant? Maybe you're just putting on your winter weight."
Kitty smiled like the Mona Lisa. "Red…honey. A woman knows. Not to mention I'm late. Ahahahahaha….and NOT for work." She looked at Steven and Eric. "For my menstrual cycle. Hooray!"
Steven stood up, "That's great new, Mrs. Forman." He walked around the table thinking, Kitty's pregnant? He gave his adopted mother a kiss on the cheek and a big hug. Then he reminded her, "Stay away from those smokes. You know if you smoke when you're pregnant, they come out all spindly….like Eric." Hyde looked at Eric and smirked.
Eric looked at Hyde, "Shut up." He stood up and hugged his mother. "Mom…congratulations. This is awesome." Then in a tiny voice he added, "Please love me the most!"
Everyone turned around to look at Red. Kitty smiled, "Well, you're sure being quiet over there." Red had that deer in the headlights look on his face. "I'm….soaking in the moment." I'm too old to raise an infant!
Kitty smiled softly, "Okay, I know this is unexpected but I just think it's gonna bring us so much happiness."
Red felt like he was under the interrogation spotlight and detectives Steven and Eric were good cop/bad cops making him sweat the confession. "Sure. You know how much I love babies…" oh God, this is a disaster!
Kitty clapped her hands, her auburn curls bouncing, "Oh, what a day! I'm so happy! I'm just….I'm just gonna go throw up."
Both young men sat down and looked at Red. He growled, "What! Don't ask me how this happened. I don't feel like explaining the birds and the bees right now and I need to find that bee and stick my foot up its ass!"
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Eric found his mom in Hyde's room down under the basement stairs. She was sitting in the middle of boxes and boxes of baby clothes. She looked up, 'Oh Eric, look. This was your little pink baby sweater. Oh, and the matching bonnet ahahahaha!"
Eric found that a little disconcerting. His mom dressed him in pink? "Mom, they did tell you I was a boy….right?"
Kitty smiled, "Oh, I'm so excited about this baby." Eric sat on the edge of the cot. "You should be. And dad should be too. What's with him?" Kitty pressed a folded receiving blanket to her face and smiled. "That's just his way. When I first told him I was pregnant with you he said, "Oh crap" and stormed out. He came back later just as happy as a clam." Kitty patted Eric on the hand. "Don't worry about your father, he'll come around. He always does."
Kitty stood up and grabbed a pile of baby clothes and went back upstairs. Eric surveyed the infant mess his mom left and he gasped. There it was! A flannel blue-checked, much loved piece of material…"My banky boo!" He cried excitedly.
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Red was looking at his much loved Corvette. "Kids are expensive. I waited 25 years to have that car because we had kids. I love them…but this is supposed to be our time Kitty. Our time. People our age don't have kids. Hell, they have grandkids!"
Kitty glared at her husband, "Well, we are having a kid, so deal with it."
Red was flustered but retorted, "I'm having a Corvette, so deal with that!" They glared at each other as Fez walked through the kitchen. "Ooh, a staring contest. I got winner!"
Kitty couldn't believe what a blockhead her husband was being. She shook her head and left the kitchen. In the meanwhile, Fez stood in front of Red and waited for the staring contest to begin.
"Okay Mr. Red. It's just you and me." Red rolled his eyes and left the room. Fez looked around and said to the kitchen, "Still the king!"
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Red heard the patio door open and knew it was Kitty and another likely confrontation about selling the Corvette. "Look, can we finish this later? I'm kind of in the middle of something." He knelt down and continued repainting a baby cradle in blue.
Kitty covered her heart with her hand, "Is that….is that Eric's old cradle?"
Red looked up with a small smile. 'Yeah…well the paint was all chipped off and I kinda remembered that they liked sleeping in this thing. You know when they weren't peeing and pooping all over the place."
Kitty's throat felt tight. "Oh Red….that is so sweet." Red put the can of blue paint down on the garage floor. "Yeah, well…it might be fun this time." He hugged Kitty, "Hell, this time, we might even get an athlete."
Kitty laughed and kissed him on the cheek. "I'm going to the doctor's in the morning…because I'm pregnant!" Kitty's enthusiasm was infectious and Red found himself smiling as he painted the rocker arms of the cradle.
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"Mrs. Forman, here is your prescription for neo-natal vitamins and I want to see you next week for an ultrasound. I want you to read this pamphlet on high risk pregnancies because of your age….I'm not saying this to be unkind but you are older than most of my patients."
Kitty glared at Dr. Anderson who quickly recovered with, "Change of life babies do occur and they are just as welcome as ever."
Kitty smiled and touched her stomach. She was going to have a Christmas baby. "Thank you doctor."
"Nurse Forman, I don't think I should have to remind you about drinking and smoking."
"No doctor. I will be the healthiest mother a baby ever had."
Dr. Anderson smiled. "I know you will. Don't forget to make an appointment on your way out."
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Kitty kept her secret from the boys. No one but Red knew she had her appointment that morning. When Eric and Steven came home from school, Kitty took a twenty dollar bill from her wallet and said, "Don't come home before nine."
Eric plucked the money from his mom's fingers. "We weren't even here." He said with a smile. Kitty watched both teens disappear into the basement and she went about making plans for the evening.
Red got home from work and this was one of those days he felt older than his years. All those young kids could run circles around him. Maybe he would be promoted to management soon and then he could tell those damn kids how to be good employees! He slid open the patio doors and there was a paper arrow pointing to the dining room. Smiling, he removed his funky red suit coat and followed the arrow.
The dining room was lit with candles and on the table were two big juicy sizzling steaks. Kitty was sitting on the edge of the table in a silky red nightgown. Red looked at the dinner plates and looked at his wife. "Is that…."
Kitty looked at her husband. "That's dinner Red. I'm dessert!" Red grinned. "Well, I'm a hungry man!"
After dessert….Kitty told Red her good news. He enfolded her in his arms and said, "We'll make this work Kitty. Wouldn't it be a kicker if this kid turns out to be the smart one?"
Kitty laughed. "Or the one that picks our nursing home?" Red and Kitty stared at each other as they realized the magnitude of what she just said. She touched her belly, "Oh baby, we are gonna take good care of you!"
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Kitty's pregnancy was not measured by months but rather by events. The whole family endured the vomit after dinner weeks. Fez pointed out that Kitty had a "bigger rack" and Red loved that!
Donna and Jackie took Kitty shopping for maternity clothes with Jackie making most of the selections and Donna making the practical prices fit the Forman budget.
Eric and Steven painted Laurie's old bedroom in bright yellows and greens while Bob reassembled and painted Donna's old crib. Week by week, a mobile was added, a stuffed animal appeared out of nowhere, a purple unicorn would sit in the windowsill….a tiny pair of sunglasses sat on the dresser top.
The more Kitty showed, the more her family gathered close. Eric started reading "Green Eggs and Ham" to Kitty's stomach and Steven would put a pair of headphones against the belly so the baby would appreciate the wise teachings of Led Zeppelin.
Jackie and Donna wanted Kitty to tell them what it felt like. Kitty would only smile and said, "Wonderful."
Red was lying in bed while Kitty tossed and turned. "Honey, if you can't get comfortable would you please get your elbow out of my back?"
Kitty laughed softly. "I'm sorry dear. That's your baby kicking you out of bed." Red rolled over. "Is that so?" He put his big hand over the side of Kitty's stomach and felt his child press against his palm. "This kid is going to be the one Kitty. You know how they say the third times a charm? This is the charm."
"Oh Red, you say the sweetest things!"
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Thanksgiving was difficult. Kitty's hands and feet were swelling and the doctor put her on bed rest. She could lay on the sofa and rest or spend the next six weeks in the hospital. The family assured Kitty they could handle the meal. Kitty could almost cry. This was the first holiday meal she wouldn't be able to put the special Kitty touch on.
Red delegated Bob to turkey duty, Jackie to salad making, Donna was making yams, Eric was prince potato peeler, Hyde was appetizer tray and Fez was Rice Crispy square chef. Red's main duty was to carve the bird and keep Kitty company. It didn't hurt that there was a game on television also!
Red was massaging Kitty's ankles and she closed her eyes. This was such a special moment - the baby moving in her stomach and her husband holding her feet. She could remember almost 19 years ago replaying this scene with Eric. He was such a good baby and he was going to make a great big brother. She felt a pinch in her abdomen. Rubbing that spot she thought the baby kicked rather hard. Probably just Braxton-Hicks contractions – an ordinary pregnancy event. For now, she would just enjoy being spoiled.
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Four weeks left to go and Red came with a big surprise. He set a dozen carnations on the coffee table with a pretty pink envelope. "Red, honey…what's this?"
Red sat on the edge of the sofa while Kitty opened the card. "Oh honey! Oh, this is wonderful! We have to tell Eric!" She felt the pinch again and her hand went to her side. Red immediately went to her side. "What's wrong?"
Kitty was worried. This pinch was much worse than the Thanksgiving one. "Um…honey, I think its okay - might have been indigestion. I'll keep an eye on it." She kissed Red's cheek. "Congratulations on your promotion! I knew you'd be a great manager."
Red was beaming. "I'm salaried now so I get better health benefits and with the baby coming…." Kitty knew Red was worried that his small salary wouldn't sustain them as a family, but now he was relieved and he got his pride back. Red was a great family man.
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Dr. Anderson was concerned about the little "pinches" Kitty was having. "We may have to admit you sooner than we thought." He said very much concerned. "You have a couple high blood pressure risks and other health concerns. Overall, this is a very healthy pregnancy but I don't want you to go into labor too early."
"Dr. Anderson, could I at least go home and make sure my Christmas tree is decorated? It's a Forman family tradition." Kitty was nearly in tears.
Dr. Anderson looked at the red and green checked dress that made Kitty look like a pregnant elf and realized this was important to her. "Okay, you can have this weekend at home, but I want you to check in on Monday. No arguments!"
Red was holding Kitty's hand. "The baby. It's going to be….normal right?"
Dr. Anderson looked at Red. "Would you love it any less if it wasn't?"
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The tree was beautiful. Kitty could have cried when Red stood on the ladder and put up the star. Tonight was only the Forman's - Red, Kitty, Eric and little baby to be. Eric took a picture of his very pregnant mother sitting beside his smiling dad.
Red smiling? Yeah, that was picture worthy. This would be the last quiet Christmas that anyone would remember. He was going to be a big brother and Kelso told him that little babies were great for picking up single girls. He hoped that was true and not a burn!
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Eric woke up out of a dead sleep by a commotion in the hallway. He wrapped his sheet around his naked body and stumbled to the door. "What's going on?"
His dad was sweating, "Your mom. Early labor. Get dressed!" This was not good. The baby had three weeks left! Eric threw on some pants and slipped into his tennis shoes. As he stuck his head in his tee shirt, he saw Hyde running up the stairs.
"Is it time?" he asked anxiously. Eric nodded. "She's early. Let's help dad get her down the stairs."
Kitty's hospital bag flew out in the upstairs foyer. "Somebody get that!" Hyde grabbed it. "I'll meet you guys at the hospital. The girls and Bob are gonna want to be there."
Eric nodded and saw his mom waddling to get out thebedroom door while holding her stomach. Working in tandem, Eric and Red got Kitty safely down the stairs and on to the first floor. Instead of having war flashbacks, Red was having Laurie delivery visions and Eric and the forceps nightmares.
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Kathleen Regina Forman was born two weeks before Christmas on a quiet snowy morning. She was a screamer and instinctively knew who her daddy was. Red was sitting in a chair beside his wife's bed; the six pound four ounce bundle of wonderful was clutching his thumb and making sucking motions with her tiny lips.
Red looked at his little girl and remembered this was why it was all worth it. The mood swings, the crying jags and that was just him! Kitty was a wonderful mother and she gave her family the best present in the world.
"Hey, can I come in?" Eric whispered. Red looked up and smiled at his son. Maybe he was a dumbass sometimes but he would always be a great big brother. Eric entered his mom's private room with a red yarned headed Raggedy Ann doll wrapped in his old banky boo blanket.
"How's mom?" Eric asked softly. Red replied, "She's exhausted but happy."
"Can I hold her?" Eric looked at his dad. Red looked hesitant but stood up so Eric could have a seat. Eric held out his arms and Red set the little pink bundle in his sons folded arms.
"Hey little sister. Do you like green eggs and ham?" The baby opened one eye and Eric would swear his little baby sister smiled at him. "I'm going to be the best big brother ever!"
Red decided right then and there that if the third time was a charm, he didn't do so bad on the second one either. The remainder of his life was going to be interesting. Kindergarten, middle school and possibly grandchildren riding with grandpa in the Corvette.
Did life get any much better than that?
Not for Red Forman!
The End.
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