Thy Will Be Done
Much's prayers on that long, cold night when Robin lay, feverish in bed.
Spoilers: None. Set in the Holy Land when Much and Robin were at Acre.
Rated: G
Just a short thought that occurred to me while trying to write in one of my other fics. You know how random inspiration can be…
Our father, who art in Heaven, Hallowed be thy…
Be thy…
What am I doing? Reciting words you've probably heard millions of times before. Is this going to help Robin?
Maybe it is sacrilegious to address you like this. Perhaps I'm overstepping my bounds but… Lord, Robin is dying. He's taken fever, and he's going to die. I'm so scared.
He feels terribly hot to the touch. In his sleep, he moans, he tosses and turns, I'm afraid he's in terrible pain. Sometimes he talks to me, sometimes he thinks I'm someone else; his father, his teacher, Marion… And there's nothing I can do except talk to you about it. I need you to save him. Please.
Are you listening? Are you ever listening?
Look, the Priests are always talking about your plan. This war, all this blood and death, they say… they say it's all part of your plan. They say it's what you want us to do. But Lord, how can Robin's death be part of your plan? Would it all come crashing down if you let him live? One life is such a small thing to you, but it is so big to me. He is everything in the world to me. How can it be your plan to destroy my world?
What about my plans? And Robin's? He has a woman waiting for him back home. He's in love. Does that mean nothing? You send us on this great crusade, I watch blood and death all around me, see sights I never could have imagined, pain and fear and exhaustion and nothing can ever take these memories away, nothing! And I have followed you, followed your great Crusade, and done everything asked of me, killed more men than I can ever forget, and you can't even spare me the one thing I care about most in the world? Of all the cruel men I have met in my life, you are by far the cruelest.
Oh. Oh, I'm so… I'm so sorry, that was… wrong. I'll go to confession when I can, I shouldn't have spoken to you that way. Lord, I'm just so angry, all the time. I'm sorry.
Are you punishing me? Is that what this is? I'm a liar, in my own way. The priests say we march into battle for you, but I never did. I march into battle for him. It was always for him.
I know that if Robin's death is part of your plan, then nothing a small man like me can say will change that. But there must be another way to carry out your plan than to take him away from me. So I suppose I can do nothing but beg. Please, Lord, spare Robin's life.
Thy Kingdom come, thy will be done, on Earth as it is in Heaven. Amen.
