This story, which is part of an Ultimate Muscle series I'm creating, is based on an episode of Jessie entitled "Glue Dunnit: a Sticky Situation." The storyline follows the continuity of the TV series, and also includes several of my fan-made characters introduced on my DA page, katamariluv. Please enjoy!
All franchises referenced in the story belong to their respective owners.
It's a peaceful day in Japan. Inside Muscle Stadium, several wrestlers are taking part in matches in many separate rings. In the ring closest to the door, Kevin Mask scoffs confidently as he stands across from Kid Muscle, with his arms folded across his chest, "Go ahead, try and take me on, Kid Muscle. Be careful not to hurt your little dainty toesy-woesies." Anger crosses Kid's face. "Toesy-woesy this, Kevin Mask!" He then begins to charge straight toward his foe, fists clenched in determination.
In the ring just across from them, Shinobi Shannon is facing Hanzo. "Ready to see some ninja magic?" Shannon says fiercely as she strikes a ninja pose. "Hmph," the samurai replies indignantly. "Your fancy parlor tricks don't scare me!" The two then begin hurrying toward each other, clenching their teeth.
In yet another ring, Silver Fox and her good friend Golden Receiver are taking part in a tag team match against Road Rage and Hydrazoa. "Ready to have your license revoked?" Road Rage says confidently. Silver bares her fists as a determined grin spreads across her face. "Only if you're ready to be outfoxed!" At once the two quickly begin to grapple. "Go, Silver, go!" Golden valiantly cheers her from the sidelines, flinging his green gloved hands in the air.
In the announcer's booth near the doorway, Mac Metaphor and Doc Nakano are commentating on these many vivid battles. Sitting in a small wooden chair next to them is Checkmate, who hadn't been participating due to there being an odd number of wrestlers available at the time. "Well folks," Mac says. "It certainly looks like a good day for wrestling." Doc adds, "Yeah, I'll say!" Just then, they hear a familiar voice calls from the doorway, "Uhm, excuse me." Upon this, everyone, announcer and wrestler alike, immediately stop in their tracks and whip around to see Ichiman McMadd standing in the doorway, with a shopping bag in his left hand and his little dog Garnet's(1) leash in his right hand. "I'd like to make a few adjustments to the matches here." Everyone exchanges disconcerted looks. "Mmn," Golden nonchalantly whispers in Silver's ear. "Wonder what his plan is."
"I'm not sure," she whispers in reply as worry wrinkles her brow. "But knowing Ichiman it's unlikely to be anything pleasant."
Ichiman walks up to the ring where Kid and Kevin are wrestling; several stagehands follow him closely behind. "Now, for this match, we'll be bringing two more wrestlers in," The stagehands then leave and presently return with Dik Dik Van Dik and Wally Tuskett, whom they hustle into the ring. "Easy now, no shoving."
"Hey, do you mind?" Dik Dik grumbles with annoyance.
"This is uncalled for." Wally notes dolefully.
"Now, we'll be making this a cage match," Ichiman continues as a large steel cage falls over the ring. "And to make this a tiny bit more challenging, we'll unleash a bunch of ferrets in here." One of the stagehands then opens up a large pet carrier, setting loose a large collection of small brown and beige ferrets into the ring. "Please don't worry if they take a few nips at your knees or toes, they're just having fun." Ichiman punctuates his sentence with a sly chuckle.
Ichiman then moves on to the ring where Shannon and Hanzo's match is taking place. "Now, for this match, we'll also bring in two more wrestlers." The stagehands then leave again and return with Golden and Silver. "And to make this a little more challenging we'll dump about a thousand marbles into the ring." The stagehands then dump a large container of multicolored marbles all over the floor.
He then traipses up to another ring in which King Muscle and Robin Mask are wrestling. "Now this match will be held underwater," Upon this a large glass tank falls over the ring, which the stagehands quickly begin filling with water. "And we'll throw a giant squid in here to liven things up." A crane then gently lifts a large purple squid into the tank. "Don't worry, he won't squeeze you too much, heh, heh." Ichiman snickers.
Ichiman then sets about making irritating changes to the other matches, such as bringing Jaeger and Cheval in to take Golden and Silver's place in the tag team match, then putting a cage of howler monkeys just outside the ring, putting a hive of angry bees in the upper corner of a ring housing Brocken Junior, Buffaloman, Ramen Man, and Sosumi, and putting strips of sticky taffy all over the floor of a ring where a tag team match between Terry Kenyon and Sydney Didgeridoozy and Ricardo and Comrade Turbinsky is taking place, and the like. "Have fun!" he chuckles nastily.
The four wrestlers in the first ring hop frantically about, trying to keep from getting bitten; as Kid bends over for a moment, he feels a CHOMP! and looks over his shoulder to see a ferret biting him in the butt. "Oh, pancakes." he groans woefully. Kevin himself soon ends up with several ferrets chomping the knees of his pants and tugging on his long blonde mane, causing him to grumble angrily.
The four wrestlers in the second ring skid around the floor like unsteady rollerskaters and end up tumbling and crashing into each other. "Oogh." Shannon groans as she falls flat on her face. "Oof." Hanzo mumbles as he topples into the ring ropes and flops to the mat.
King Muscle and Robin Mask swim frantically around the tank, dodging the squid's ever-flailing arms, but quickly get caught and squeezed tightly. "Ughh," King Muscle wheezes. "This match is all wet." Robin groans, "And we're even wetter. Refresh me memory, your majesty, how'd we get roped inta' this one again?"
"I'm not sure, but I'm definitely thinking twice before taking part in another!" King Muscle replies. "Me too." Robin notes woefully. "Well, this ain't no fun for me, either, y'know." the squid notes. The two wrestlers only stare blankly.
As the two struggle to wrest themselves from the squid's grasp, a stray piranha swims by and bites King Muscle in the butt(2). "YEOWWW!" he cries. "I'M LOSING MY MIND!" Robin mumbles under his breath,
"Mmn, can't miss whatcha never had."
"Pardon me?" King Muscle inquires. "Uhm, uh, I said, 'This is very sad.'" the masked knight quickly replies. "Hmm, why yes, it is indeed." King Muscle notes. Pfew. Robin thinks with relief.
In the ring where Terry and Sydney's tag team match is taking place, Sydney and Ricardo are trying to grapple, but are hampered by the sticky floor; they quickly get stuck to each other as they try in vain to pry themselves free. Road Rage chuckles as he watches from the ring across the way. "Hey, Ricky! You sure are sticky!" he taunts raucously. "When I get unstuck, you es in muy, muy, mucho trouble!" Ricardo snarls.
Mac and Doc cringe at the wrestlers' discomfort as Ichiman approaches them. His gaze falling on the shopping bag in Ichiman's hand, Mac inquires, "Pardon me, sir, but what might be in the bag?"
"Ah, I'm so glad you asked," Ichiman replies grandly. "I've just bought a tube of my new favorite hair gel, 'Do Glue. Be on the lookout for Un Coiffure Extrordinaire." He motions to his hair with a flourish. "If I see him, I shall contact the authorities at once." Doc replies. Mac blinks in perplexity. Ichiman then traipses over and seats himself in the chair Checkmate was sitting in with a resounding MUSH.(Nice, huh?) "What is touching my derriere?" he grouses. "It is most unpleasant."
"'Tisn't a what, 'tis a who," Checkmate mumbles dolefully, his face squished against the back of the chair. "And the feeling is most mutual indeed."
(1) Garnet is based on Mrs. Chetserfield's dog Zeus in the original Jessie episode; she is also the same breed as Zeus.
(2) Like father, like son!
