Title: I'm Not Sorry

By: IWantToEatSiriusBlack

Warnings: Language, sex, a little violence

Disclaimer:I don't own anything. Not even Iris Hewson. Iris Hewson is the property of XSiriusIsTheBestX. I only borrowed her cause she's kinda awesome. Chris Clayton is also the property of XSiriusIsTheBestX.

Song: Feeling Good (Muse)


He was opposite to her, his dark hair cascading over his gray, thoughtful eyes. Iris thought he looked thinner, as his cheeks were sunken. But this had a good effect on his handsome features.

A red, black and white scarf was wrapped around his neck over his black coat as he stood, smoking. He brought the cigarette to his mouth and took a long drag, and let the smoke out which was the colour of his eyes.

Iris watched Sirius. They were on his balcony, and he was leaning against the wall casually. Iris was standing in front of him and she asked sadly, "why have you been avoiding me?"

Sirius blew the smoke out of his mouth before answering huskily, "no, I haven't."

"You never come over and talk to me, like you used to," Iris pointed out, watching him with concerned eyes. She hated his habit of smoking. But little did she know that she was the reason he started it.

"That's because," Sirius took a long drag and blew it out before answering calmly, "you're always with Clayton."

"Speaking of Chris," Iris cleared her throat and then smiled up at Sirius, "I'm marrying him."

Sirius didn't say anything. He took his cigarette and threw it to the floor, crushing it under his foot. He took out another one from his pocket, and lit it. Iris thought his face looked beautiful in the light of the fire. He took a long drag before saying calmly, "good for you."

Iris felt like she had been smacked in the face as she asked in a trembling voice, "that's it?"

"What else is there for me to say?" Sirius asked, his voice husky and calm.

"No congratulations? No hug?" Iris asked, a smile tugging at her lips. Sirius blinked at her and suddenly his expression darkened. It turned from a cool and calm poker face, into an expression full of disgust and hate.

"You're not even going to try and stop me from marrying a Death Eater?" Iris asked, crossing her arms as tears stung her eyes. She blinked rapidly, determined to not make him see that he was hurting her.

"What's the point?" Sirius brought the cigarette to his lips, his expression still intact, "you wont listen to me."

"You're not at all angry? Or upset?"

"Of course I'm fucking upset!" Sirius suddenly yelled angrily, making Iris jump, "I was the first on your list of priorities before that bastard came along! I used to be the one you used to wait around for all the time! And then you have the nerve, to come up here and ask me why I'm avoiding you?"

Iris' lower lip trembled but Sirius edged closer to her and yelled, "I gave up every single piece I ever owned for you and now you're running off and marrying the embodiment of what I have tried so hard not to be in my entire life? You're a bitch, Iris Hewson, a hateful bitch. And then you come here and expect me to give you some sort of blessing?"

"Sirius -"

"Don't say it!" Sirius yelled angrily, crushing the cigarette with his foot, "I've done so much for you! I gave up everything and now you're - you're -"

Sirius couldn't even continue his sentence because he saw red all over and began to shake with anger. He couldn't hear anything but he saw Iris mouth the words "I love you." Sirius clenched his teeth.

Crack.

Sirius fist collided with her jaw. She didn't say anything. She didn't even pick up a hand to rub her jaw where a bruise had erupted. She just stared at the floor, sadly, a single tear streaming down her cheek. She tasted blood. And soon enough, some blood escaped her mouth and began to trickle down her chin and on to her neck.

Sirius stepped forward and suddenly kissed her. He kissed her with all the force that he had because he had never felt this much passion for any one in his entire life. He parted her lips and tasted her, and found her quite intoxicating. All thoughts were erased from his mind except for one.

She hurt you.

Sirius saw red. She had hurt him so much. And he wanted her to feel a bit of the pain that she had put him through. Just a bit of it so that she got a taste of the powers that she had.

He bit down hard on her lower lip and he could taste more blood. There was also something else. Tears. Tears were streaming down her cheeks as she allowed him to hurt her.

Sirius picked her up and she wrapped her legs around his waist, his hands cupping her arse. He pulled both cheeks apart, trying to hurt her and she let out a whimpering moan. But it wasn't enough for him. He wanted her. And he wanted to hurt her as well.

He broke away from her lips, both of them gasping for air. Sirius licked the trail of blood that she had on her chin and that continued down to her neck. He breathed in the heavenly scent of her, hating her the same time he loved her with all his heart.

He carried her out of the balcony, his tongue down her throat the entire time. They collapsed on his bed and he pulled away from her lips, only to trail kisses all over her neck. He licked the hollow beneath her ear and caught her ear lobe between his teeth and bit down as hard as he could. Iris screamed in pain and that satisfied Sirius more than anything in the world.

Sirius realized that Iris wasn't doing anything. Like all the other girls he had bedded, she wasn't trying to take his clothes off. She was letting him be the one in control because she knew he liked that. She was just going to lie there and let him hurt her as much as he wanted, as tears streamed down her face.

Sirius ripped open her silk blouse and threw it towards the floor and looked down at her. A red and black lace bra was supporting two, full breasts that looked more inviting than anything else in the World. He pulled his own shirt over his head while Iris, with trembling and hesitating hands, unwrapped the scarf from around his neck. He shoved his mouth against hers again as she helped him get out of his jeans.

Iris left her black skirt to him. But Sirius seemed to have other plans. He unclapsed her red and black bra and threw it on the floor, where it joined the pile of dicarded clothes. His hands went to her breasts and he cupped them and Iris moaned into his mouth. He began to massage them in the most loving way possible.

Then Sirius remembered that he was supposed to make her feel pain. Not pleasure.

The hands on her breasts turned rough. He squeezed one extremely hard and Iris cried out in pain, her voice tear stained. He brought his lips down to her left breast and licked her nipple, getting satisfied when he saw them harden. Iris cried out once again when he caught the erect peak between his teeth and squeezed the other one as hard as he could.

"Sirius, please," Iris cried and Sirius almost, almost softened. While his expression was hard, his gray eyes still gave away the love he felt for her. And a part of him was also aching because he was causing her so much pain.

He licked down the centre of her breasts and planted butterfly kisses on her stomach. Iris gasped when his tongue darted into her belly button and her hands went to his hair, holding him there.

Sirius continued down to her skirt, which he pulled off in one, swift movement to only reveal a black and red thong. His hands grazed her thighs as they went down to her knees and pulled them apart. He ripped the thong off, and saw just how wet she was for him. He flicked his tongue and it darted in and out of her clit. Iris moaned in extreme pleasure.

He went back to her lips, but only after rubbing his body against hers. Iris's moans provoked Sirius. He cupped her wet pussy with one hand, while curving the other around Iris' neck and pulling her face closer to his. Iris could taste herself on Sirius' lips.

Suddenly and unexpectedly, a finger darted into her and began to massage her clit. Iris moaned and groaned, her hands pulling at his locks. With one hand, Sirius pinned both of her arms above her head, wanting to punish her.

Slowly, one finger disappared inside Iris. Soon, two. Iris wanted more and she groaned out his name. Her began to stretch the nerves, preparing Iris for him. He knew that she was a virgin, and he felt better when he realized that if it was her first time, it would hurt even more.

"Sirius, please ... please do it, Sirius, oh God," Iris groaned as he licked her neck.

Sirius moved himself to her enterance and pushed down on both her shoulders. He saw the tear tracks, the blood on her red lips, and her eyes ... her chocolate eyes, so full of sadness.

"I'm not sorry," Sirius growled before plunging so deep in her the first time that Iris cried out in agony. Mercilessly, he curved his hand around her knee and pulled it up, hitching it around his waist so that he could go even deeper. When he hit just exactly the right spot, Iris screamed out his name. Then she was sobbing, while moaning and groaning.

He pulled out of her almost all the way, before plunging back in. Iris' fingers twisted and turned in his hair, and she thrust her hips towards him and started meeting his thrusts.

When it was done, he collapsed on top of her, exhausted, both of them drenched in cold sweat. Sirius then lifted his head and kissed her softly. And that kiss, was full of love. It was beautiful and Iris knew that she would never forget it.

He touched her forehead with his and some of his tears fell on to her cheeks. Iris placed her hands on each side of his face as he took gulps of air. When his gray eyes met her chocolate one's, she saw that they were sorry and begging for her forgiveness. Iris gave one single nod and kissed his lips.

"Don't leave ... please stay ... please ..." Sirius whispered, "I don't want you to go and marry Clayton. Please ... just stay."

Iris was crying as she whispered, "okay."

"I love you," Sirius said, "I always did."

"I know. I love you, too," Iris sighed as his head fell on to her chest and she wrapped her arms around him.


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