"It didn't have to be you". That's what I said to my best friend after she shot my not-so-dead (at the time) biological monster of a mother in the head as I sat with her on the Ferris wheel. It's what I said as tears came to my eyes and, in my rage, I pointed a gun at Trish. It's what echoed in my mind when the police arrived to find me holding a gun kneeling next to my own mother's body.
How did we get here?
I went from not knowing my mom was even alive to learning that she was and having her tell me all the atrocities she's committed during the years I thought she was dead. You'd think it would be impossible to begin to forgive someone for repeatedly smashing your first love's head into a wall until he was dead. Even if that person was your mother. I had no semblance of a mother figure in my life ever since that damn car accident. It's not like Trish's mother would ever be nominated for a "mother of the year" award. I fled with my mom because I was vulnerable. I wanted that feeling again. That feeling of love you only get from your mother. That feeling that I might belong somewhere with someone. Even though she had killed people and wanted to kill more, she was my mom and nothing could change that in my mind.
How did we get here?
Trish had almost died after trying to get the crazy mad scientist my mother had been in love with to experiment on her in an attempt to get super powers. Even before that we weren't talking as much as we had been. I rarely reached out to Trish but she would contact me often enough that I would get annoyed; not that it takes much. In her addiction to the performance enhancer Simpson had been using she stopped communicating. She had traded one addiction for another and she was willing to do anything to get that powered feeling. Maybe it's my fault I didn't recognize the signs of addiction sooner and do something about it before we got to this point. We've had our ups and downs but this time we might be done. When I think of Trish I get the image of my mother's dead body and I don't know if that will ever change. The thought of the woman I loved as if she were my own biological sister now makes me feel sick.
How did we get here?
Malcolm betrayed me and enabled Trish's addiction. When Trish came by my office he was there. He helped her find Dr. Karl, not knowing that once they located him Trish would do anything to become his next experiment. Including knocking Malcolm out and putting him in the trunk of her car. Yet again Malcolm got involved in something else he had no business being involved in. He put himself and Trish in danger and went behind my back while doing so. Now he'll be fired for good. I guess that's what I get for deciding to trust someone for once: a stab in the back.
How did we get here?
And how do I move on?
