so... I wrote some crack... kind of...


The Prelude


Zuko fought sleep as long as he could, tried to watch as Katara fought his sister, but his eyes kept closing on him.

He wrenched them open a few times, the last time it was to blue eyes and cool, soft hands. Katara was beside him, he'd be alright. He didn't want to die, he refused to die.

But his body weakened, and Katara had only water and her own Chi to heal him.

It wasn't the worst way to go, her hands on his body, her comforting voice in his ears, it wasn't the worst way to go, but he didn't want to die.

His heart stopped between one beat and the next.
The world stopped.

The heavy pressure which had grown on his lungs disappeared, Zuko drew in a breath so fast he choked on the air. He coughed, rolling to his knees. He was no longer in the Palace Courtyard.

"Greetings Prince Zuko," his mind blanked, because he couldn't figure out how to respond to the presence of so many Important Spirits other than by swearing, and that was not a good idea.

"We have an offer for you." Zuko blanched, Spirits had an offer? That was never a good sign.


Zuko sipped his tea and fixed Agni with a stern look.

"Let me see if I've got this right: I died, but I wasn't supposed to, and you'll restore me to life so I can achieve my Destiny, but first I have to go to another world and accomplish someone else's Destiny, as payment for this service."

"Yes."

"And the person I'm pretending to be died, but wasn't supposed to?"

"Yes."

"And you can't or won't resurrect them because?"

"... It takes power to restore someone to life. Someone who fights to live requires less power to resurrect than someone who gave up on living. Likewise, it takes less power to replace an unwilling Hero than to resurrect them."

"Could you replace me?"

"It would take more power than restoring you."

"But aren't you restoring me twice? Once as this other guy then again as myself?"

"... Look there's this thing called a Destiny Factor, you have a similar Destiny Factor as the hero you're replacing, that's not as common as you'd think. The Spirits in charge of his world got lucky that you were in a position to be available and-"

"Hold on... were you... am I getting restored to life anyway?"

"..."

"I am, so I don't need to go live someone else's life in order to get back to my own!"

"Well, not as such... but we'd appreciate it if you did."

"... are you trying to guilt me into this?"

"Is it working?"

"Yes, now stop it. … urgh, please stop with the face, I'll do it. But just so you know, I am unlucky and I make bad life choices, and I am not a Hero, and I have killed people, and I know nothing about the world this other guy belongs to. What if I say or do something and people realise I'm not who I'm pretending to be?"

Agni grinned Brightly, as only the Sun Spirit could.

"Are you trying to blind me?!"

"Sorry, and don't worry, we'll give you a crash course in Harry Potter's life. You don't need to know much, he's a loner with no friends and relatives who hate him."

"That sounds kind of familiar."

"He also has facial scarring, though it's much smaller than yours."

Zuko wondered how much trouble he'd get in for throwing his tea cup at the Spirit.


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