Broken
Ill never forget when I realized the damages that was caused by the last four years that I had known her. At first the Carla Taylor I had met was beautiful, happy, and just a joy to talk to. When I had first seen her come into The Great Hall I thought I hope she gets sorted into Gryffindor. And she did. As I got to know her she was smart, sometimes regal like in some of her manners, and the way she behaved. At first she was strong enough to withstand Draco's advances. But once he had forced his way into her life I slowly began to notice the changes. It was as if she had two different personalities; with her friends she was strong and spunky but when it came to Draco she'd bow down to him. She would accept a beating from him and do whatever he asked her to do. So what can take down the only witch who has ever been called to be a vampire slayer? A slytherin nyncompoop. I couldnt get close to her without her wondering what was Draco thinking about this. And I wondered if I screw up would she go back to him? Now four years later after me growing up and her just breaking away from him here we were. Draco was no longer in her head anymore. I know that scared her for a bit; she was so used to him taking advantage of her and Shaunna's telepathic abilities, that now it had become a crutch to how she measured her desirability. If I wasnt there or Draco didnt want her who would she go to? I wanted to say " I always want you. You're my mess and I love you. Im here you dummy."
Three months after graduation I had gotten a job similar to hers. I trained to become an auror. Then since I was raised by muggles I knew how to blend in perfectly, I got my own flat. Knowing how Carla just loved style I had contacted her boss Lena to know what her cell number was and asked her to come and help shop for stuff. She seemed shocked at how I had used a contact of hers to check up on her. But she agreed to come to England anyway, because she and Shaunna was getting sick of Los Angeles where the girls were from. They missed being in the U.K. it was a second home to them now.
I didnt know what to expect when I went to go meet them at the airport. When I saw the two familiar faces I was amazed by the change. Their way of talking had changed to being rather cocky, which if I done what they did I'd need to be that way to, getting to travel and kick evil ass everyday. This was different though it was a forced way of confidence, a smoke screen, something to compensate for something else. Shaunna I had understood she had been dating Fred there at the last and he had gotten killed in the battle at Hogwarts. Carla was a little bit uneasy. I know when that girl was happy and when she wasnt. She was robotic in a way, going through the motions.
Then I took in how they seemed physically. Both girls had done something different to her appearance. Both had become very thin, not frail mind you, but still thin. Carla had always been slender, but I didnt remember her being that thin. She had cut her hair to her shoulders and it wasnt in its usual abundant layers. It almost looked as if it were one length. Was she wearing makeup? Carla hardly ever wore that stuff. Note to self, I thought, make sure to get her off by herself to talk to her about stuff I noticed.
The girls approached me with a hug. Carla had hugged me a little tighter than I had expected. Yeah she had missed me, I oddly then avoided my gaze, barely giving me a chance to look into her eyes to see what was up.
Later Carla and I had went for a walk in London. And we had settled down for lunch.
" So blow up any buildings lately?" I asked teasingly. The girls had blown up their schools chemistry lab before they had ended up getting accepted at Hogwarts. I still wonder how the bloody hell two Americans got into a British school.
" No." She laughed. Then she got really serious. " I havent been in London since I finally filed for my divorce from Draco." She said.
" How long ago was that?"
" About a month and a half ago." She replied.
" What? You were in London and you didnt look me up?!" I exclaimed. She shrugged in her answer. I didnt push the issue I knew she had fallen in love with Draco and no matter what he done to her it wasnt enough to get her to be reempowered to get away from him. They had bonded in a twisted sort of way that I couldnt have even figured out how.
I had moved from being mad at her weakness to actually thinking it was all really kind of sad. The life with him was all she knew now she was struggling to regain her sense of being empowered, to being her again. And now since I could see her face to face I knew it was difficult for her. I know it sounds trite but she reminded me of the story of sleeping beauty and she was sleeping emotionally, guarding her heart, waiting for the one she wanted to kiss her and wake her up. But it wasnt today of when I wanted to see if I was the one who could do that for her. She and I were wizards for heaven sake we were all too familiar with spells and countering them. I couldnt understand why I just didnt try it, perhaps because I wondered if it was really all she needed. I thought she needed something else.
That was weeks ago. A mission for her here and there and then came when I finally realized what my sleeping beauty needed. Also when I figured what an asshole I had been and a blind one at that. My little apartment was almost ready and Carla was away in the kitchen thinking. She had a very comtemplating look on her face and a sad one at that.I knew she was compensating for something. Then I realized the person she was hiding from was me.
" Carla what you thinking about?" Silence. " You know I really wish sometimes I was telepathic and could read your mind."
She looked at me with those bright blue eyes and said " Harry why are you always still nice to me?" I couldnt think of an answer.
" I treated you like crap when Draco and I were together. Pulled you into a situations you didnt want to be in, yet you still come and save my life. I know you see me as weak and you're angry at me for giving up and not even trying to get away from him. You're angry I kept giving into him time and time again. I shouldnt have put you in the middle it would just drag you down."
" Hey Ive heard enough of this pity- ditty, can I have the mic a bit?" I said frustrated, leading Carla to take a seat on the sofa.
" Okay what do you wanna say?"
" You're insufferable." I blurted.
" Thanks I feel better."
" No thats not what Im trying to say. Let me try to put it this way I cant stand you feeling sorry for yourself. Okay its not your fault. Its not your fault if people are mad. I didnt get into this because of you, okay I did it because I wanted to, and it wasnt your fault that Voldemort tried to kill me at one, so I had to face him. I did it because I love you. Yes it did upset me when u didnt even try to get rid of Draco, and it upset me when you kept going to him. But I got past the anger.I know what you want - you want to be forgiven." I had stopped on the last word. She wanted me to forgive her. She wanted me to forgive her for everything I had been mad at her for. But Carla was a physical and hearing I stood up.
" You're a mess Carla Taylor, but you're my mess, and I love you." And then I kissed her, her face was covered from the tears she had been crying. She then broke away from me taken aback by my aggressiveness.
" What are you doing?" She said.
" Bringing you back to life." I replied and kissed her more gently this time. She was broken but she wasnt in pieces, I could still help her get back together. Somehow I knew that it was going to take awhile for her to mend a broken heart, but I was willing to be there for her, no matter what.
The End
