Disclaimer: I do not own nor claim to own to aspect of Final Fantasy X-2, including the places, characters and music. No further disclaimer will be posted so please refer to this chapter in the future.
A/N: This is the first story that I've revamped. I've changed the title and made it a standalone fic since this story was originally a sequel. I hope I've done a good job on it. Let me know how I did.
Falling In and Out
By: Jenna Mogavero
Chapter I:
Running Away
I rushed past Baralai's sleeping body and quietly opened the door, disappearing into the night without a look back. I ran around behind our house and mounted our chocobo. The large bird warked in protest, not used to being ridden so late at night, as I hopped up onto his back. I clutched my infant son, Jordan, tightly to my chest and sped away from Bevelle. I looked back only once and watched as my home dematerialized into the night. Tears came to my eyes as the whole evening replayed in my mind. I almost couldn't believe that what had transpired had really happened. It was like I was experiencing the most terrifying nightmare imaginable and unable to stop it.
First of all, this whole fiasco started when Rikku had the bright idea of a reunion party a year after the defeat of Shyuin and Vegnagun. I begrudgingly accepted only because I hadn't been in touch with any of them and, believe it or not, I missed them. I hadn't expected to see Baralai there. I thought Rikku just wanted to get me, her and Yuna together, not my old Crimson Squad comrades too. I also hadn't expected how much Al Bhed alcohol Rikku had stocked up. Needless to say, all of us got blitzed out of our minds, and Baralai and I managed to confess a couple things to each other that neither of us would have never spoken about otherwise. The worst part is that we both remembered what we had talked about with perfect clarity.
Six months later we were married. I was four months pregnant with Jordan on our wedding day.
Anyways, back to the heart of the matter. I was sitting in the living room when Baralai barged in, shouting incoherently. I had just put Jordan down for the night so the fact that he was yelling so loudly pissed me off just a little bit. But I knew that discretion is the better part of valor so I kept my temper in check. I tried to calmly ask him what was wrong but he continually dodged the question, refusing to answer me. I got close enough to him that I could smell the alcohol on his clothes and his breath. The odor was so strong in fact that I thought he had taken a bath in it. I accused him of getting drunk again and that's when he went overboard. He began hitting me relentlessly. Even when I begged him to stop, he only hit me harder.
And all the while that he was doing this, I knew that this wasn't my husband. This wasn't the man I married. This wasn't the man I had a child with.
It was all I could do to just protect myself and ride out the storm. When he was like this he had no idea how hard he was hitting me or how much and half the time he totally missed me. After he thought he beat me enough, he collapsed on the couch and passed out. I backed up against the wall and burst into tears, trying to figure out what was going on but unable to come up with any answers. This was the third time in the last month that he had come home drop dead drunk and the seventh time he's beaten me since our son was born. I didn't know why; he never told me why he went out drinking night after night. I didn't think Baralai was capable of such a thing. Just shows you how much you know a person, I thought ruefully.
That's when Jordan started fussing. I rushed into his room like my heels were on fire. I carefully but swiftly lifted him out of his crib and rocked him in my arms until he stopped, praying that he hadn't woken Baralai up. As I stood there with Jordan lying against my shoulder I knew that if I didn't get out of here Baralai would end up hurting me or even killing me. That's when I decided to leave. It was the only option that I had at my disposal. I realized it would continue to get worse and worse if he didn't have some time to himself to think.
So, without saying a word, I packed a small bag with Jordan's belongings and mine and, well, here I am. I didn't have enough time to call Rikku or Yuna, doing so would have sabotaged my getaway. If Baralai had caught me trying to leave who knows what he would have done to me or worse, to Jordan.
I pushed my chocobo to his limit as we made our way through Macalania Woods and the Thunder Plains. Once I reached Guadosalam, I reluctantly sold my chocobo. I knew I wouldn't be able to take him with me but it didn't make the hurt of having to get rid of him any less. Then with a pocketful of gil, I caught a Shoopuf to cross the Moonflow, deciding to walk the rest of the way to Luca. I was making great time, hardly stopping to rest, and Jordan barely fussed. He seemed to be enjoying himself looking around at the different scenery. He had never been outside Bevelle before so this was like an entirely new world to him.
By the time I got on a boat heading to Kilika, the sun was already visible on the horizon. I walked to the front of the ship and sat down on the small set of steps, slowly inhaling the salty sea air. I could almost forget that my husband had been abusing me and pretend that I was only on a holiday, but I definitely wasn't delusional. I wasn't about to fool myself and Rikku and Yuna would hear nothing but the truth once I got there.
I was jarred from my thoughts as Jordan began squirming in my arms. I gazed down at him and held him tightly to my chest. He looked just like Baralai, which was one of the things I loved most about him. He had the same dark skin and white fluffy hair but his eyes were red like mine. I smiled as he reached his small hand up and touched my cheek, cooing softly as his tiny eyes searched my face. He patted my face a few times before letting his hand fall back to where it was a few moments ago. I ran my fingers through his hair lovingly and hugged him to my chest once again. I still couldn't believe that it had been seven months since I had given birth to him. I still remembered the day he was born with perfect clarity.
The boat docked at Kilika and I had to wait for about a half an hour for the boat for Besaid to arrive. Once I got on the boat it was mid morning and I was dead tired. I had almost fallen asleep while I was waiting for the boat to Besaid. After paying my way, I went down into the hold and found a bed to sleep in for the rest of the way to Besaid. I lay down and both Jordan and were out like lights.
What seemed like only a few minutes later Jordan started fidgeting and making babbling noises which, in turn, woke me up. I sat up and, because of the fact that I didn't have any prepared formula with me, I breast fed him before getting out of bed. I grabbed my bag and left the hold, walking up onto the deck. I sighed in relief as I caught sight of Besaid on the horizon.
I bit my lip and looked down. It's been almost a year since I've seen Yuna or Rikku. I wonder if they'll even recognize me.
The last time I saw them, I was a completely different person. While I was pregnant with Jordan I still wore the tight fitting dress spheres even after I began showing. It was only after about month six that I started wearing maternity clothes. After I had Jordan I let my hair grow out and dyed it jet black, but I'm still the quiet, stubborn teenager that they knew back in the time of Vegnagun. At least that hasn't changed.
Now I'm back to wearing the Warrior dress sphere again. Old habits die hard, I guess.
The boat docked in Besaid moments later and I made my trek from the beach to the village, taking in the sights that I had nearly forgotten about. I stopped at the gate and looked around. Things had definitely changed. There were more houses and I could see a sort of market place being set up at the center of the now growing town.
I walked towards Rikku's house, her being the first person I wanted to see, even though she had been the most annoying while we were on our adventure. I stopped in front of her door and, after a moment's hesitation, knocked. I wasn't sure how she would react to seeing me and I was nervous to tell either of them about the problems Baralai and I were having.
Seconds later, the small blonde opened the door. Her eyes widened and she squealed in delight. "Oh my gosh!" She exclaimed. "Paine! Is it really you?"
"Yeah, it's nice to see you too, Rikku," I said, smiling at her.
She immediately noticed the baby in my arms and gasped. "Oh! And who's this? Is this Jordan?" She asked, taking his small hand in hers and smiling at him.
"Yeah, this is him," I said, smiling down at him as well.
"Oh!" Rikku cooed, running her fingers through his hair. "He's so cute!" She stopped and looked around behind me. I took a deep breath for I knew what she was going to say next. I could read the question in her eyes and there was no way I could avoid it. "Oh, where's Baralai?" She looked back at me with a frown marring her features, waiting for my answer.
I pursed my lips and looked away from her, considering on telling her a lie. Maybe if she didn't find out it would be better. I once again wished that I had come here on better terms. She noticed my lapse right away and interpreted my strange attitude correctly.
"Uh-oh," she mumbled, putting her fingers over her lips. She grabbed my free wrist and pulled me inside her house. "Well, Gippal's working and Rylee is asleep right now so we don't have anyone to disturb us." She sat down in an easy chair and pointed to the couch, a no nonsense look on her face. I dropped my bag on the floor as I sat down heavily, sinking into the plush cushions of her couch. I really didn't want to spill the contents of the last six months out to Rikku. Maybe Yuna, but not Rikku.
Oh, what the hell. It doesn't look like I really have a choice, I thought, resigning myself to my fate.
I looked up at Rikku to find her staring at me with a sincere gaze in her emerald green eyes. That in itself made me relax a small amount. I took a deep breath before diving into my explanation. "After Jordan was born, about one month actually, Baralai started getting violent. He would come home drunk and…" I paused to collect my bearings, the memory still fresh. "…and he would literally beat the shit out of me. He came home again last night drunk. I set him off and he beat me…again. Last night was different though. Last night, Rikku, I was scared for my life. I thought he was going to kill me. I looked into his eyes while he was hitting me and I swear I could see nothing but cold, animal rage and it scared me to death. I don't know what to do, Rikku. For the first time in my life, I have absolutely no clue what to do."
She sat there in her chair and seemed to let what I had just told her sink in. She nodded her head a few times while looking off to the side somewhere, a look of intense concentration on her face. Then she leaned forward and stretched her arms out. "Give me Jordan and go get Yuna. We're a team and we need to figure this out together."
I nodded, grateful of Rikku's support, and kissed my son on the forehead before handing him to Rikku. I left her small home and crossed the plaza to where Yuna and Tidus lived. I reluctantly knocked on the door and stepped back a little. The door opened and Yuna looked back at me with her bi-colored eyes and they seemed to sparkle as she realized who it was.
"Paine!" She said, stepping out and giving me a hug. "Oh, gosh, it's so good to see you! How are you?"
"Well," I said, looking back toward Rikku's house nervously. I brought my gaze back to her concerned face and screwed on a fake smile. "That's kind of why I came here."
She frowned and looked behind me. "What do you mean?"
"Do you have a minute? There are a few things I need to talk with you about."
"Oh, sure come on in," she said, stepping back so I could go inside her house but I just stood there staring at her.
I thrust my thumb over my right shoulder. "At Rikku's."
"Oh," she said, stopping and staring at Rikku's house. "Okay, hold on. I have to go get Auron."
I stopped her. "You named your son Auron? After your father's Guardian?"
"Yeah, Tidus named him actually," she said, smiling.
She disappeared inside her house and came out a few minutes later with an infant that looked only to be about a year and a half old, about half a year younger than Rikku's daughter. He looked back at me with the same bi-colored eyes his mother had. He looked like Tidus with his messy blonde hair and soft facial features. He smiled and waved at me. Yuna locked her home and we walked back to Rikku's house. We went inside and both Yuna and I sat down on the couch. Yuna fussed over Jordan, this being the first time she had seen him, while I held Auron.
After all of us had calmed down and a more serious atmosphere settled over us, Rikku and Yuna looked at me, coaxing me to start. I gave Auron back to Yuna as she handed Jordan back to me.
I slowly rocked Jordan in my arms for many moments, trying to sort the tornado that was carving a path of destruction through my head. The only thing that kept running through my mind is what Baralai would think when he woke up and found me and Jordan gone. Would he be angry? Worried? Would he feel anything at all? Does he even love me anymore? I thought, my chest constricting painfully.
Yuna suddenly laid her hand down on my shoulder and I jumped, startling both myself and Jordan. "Are you okay?" She asked, giving my shoulder a reassuring squeeze.
I nodded and recounted my story to Yuna. She sat and listened in utter silence as I spoke, never interrupting me. I watched her facial expressions and the way her eyes would dart around the room. At some points she would raise her hand and cover one whole side of her face as if to say 'I can't believe this'. As my story came to an end, Yuna seemed to regain her composure for she had lost most of it while listening to me. She looked at the ground and shook her head, a look of amazement in her eyes.
"Paine, I'm so sorry," she said as she closing her eyes, remorse plain in her voice. "If I would have known…"
"There's nothing you would have been able to do. And I'm sorry I didn't call one of you sooner," I said, leaning back in the couch, setting Jordan's head carefully on my shoulder. "I would have but I was scared of what Baralai would do." I snorted, appalled that I had said that. "I can't believe how weak I've become. I'm more than capable of defending myself."
Yuna shook her head, the long beaded earring she always wore clinking softly. "You aren't weak, Paine. You're in love and I know that he loves you too. He'll realize that he's making a huge mistake."
The room grew deathly silent and I could feel the traitorous burn of tears. Yuna was right. I did love him. I loved him a lot, actually. Whether or not he felt the same way about me didn't really matter anymore. If he really loved me he wouldn't be acting like this.
"Hold on," Rikku said suddenly, leaning forward in her chair. "Isn't Baralai still the Praetor? Can't he, like, get in trouble for what he's doing to you?"
"Baralai isn't just Praetor anymore," I answered. "It's like he owns the whole city. He controls the media, the paper. He's the government, for crying out loud! Even if I told someone, no one would believe me."
"Well, I don't think that's true," Yuna said, letting Auron off of her lap so he could run around the living room. He took instant interest in some of Rylee's toys and sat down on the floor, happily playing with a few of them.
"Yes, it is. As much as I don't want to believe it. The first time it happened I tried telling the authorities but Baralai told them that I was making those things up just to get him in trouble. And, in turn, that was the reason why he beat me. I'm starting to think that even if we do make up and I go back and live with him, our marriage, no our relationship will never be the same again."
Yuna, thinking that we had talked about this subject for quite long enough, changed the subject and asked me every question about Jordan that she could possibly think of. Both her and Rikku kept me busy talking about anything besides Baralai and it was working, at least for a little while. As long as I wasn't looking directly at Jordan I wasn't bothered by it but as soon as I did, every time he beat me, every time he came home drunk flew up in front of my eyes.
I knew then that I would never be the same if Baralai and I got divorced.
