**This is just a quick AU, not set in any particular series - cut me some slack, I've not written anything in years!
House was roughly a quarter of his way through the bottle of bourbon before he was approached by a guest at the fundraiser and didn't visibly shudder. Alcohol always made him even more charming than usually, he mused silently as the woman who had sat next to him smiled a great big Hollywood smile at him.
"I'm Lorraine Sowerby," she introduced herself and offered him a slender hand whose black skin shone so much he wondered if she'd just buttered herself up.
"Dr Gregory House," he responded after taking her hand and allowing himself to briefly touch the inside of her wrist in the process. She was strikingly beautiful and he thought the extra touch worth it as she shifted closer to him.
"I've heard of you," she told him with a mischievous glint in her eye, "I've heard you're an ass." House grinned his slow grin, letting it creep from his lips all the way up to his clear blue eyes, and looked at this woman more closely.
"I've heard of you," he replied, "I've heard you're not s'posed to talk to strange men anymore." He watched Lorraine's reaction with avid interest. She was, of course, the daughter of one of the main members of the Board, here as a date for her divorced father's arm, and she had a bit of a reputation for not being the perfect daddy's little angel he presented her as. "Especially not doctors." he added as more information was brought up from his brain's filing cabinet. Last year's function it was Dr Crossman who was the lucky man, if he was right. Which he always was.
"You don't seem very strange," Lorraine didn't even flinch and he was actually impressed. Her red dress shifted along her curves as she leant over the bar to order a white wine, and House took in every inch of her young, toned body. She took a sip of the wine, making sure he was watching her mouth as she licked her lips delicately afterwards, and shook out her shoulder length black curls. "So where were you hiding last time I was at one of these things?" she asked, and House necked the last of his bourbon. He leaned towards her interceptibly. "I -"
"House!" Cuddy burst onto the scene with her usual perfect timing and placed a hand on his shoulder which he looked at with pantomime horror. "I see you've met our host's daughter," she squeezed ever so slightly, aware of the potential scandal. Lorraine might be a maneater, but she was used to being in control once she'd lured them in, and from what Cuddy had heard, House didn't play that way.
"Met and appreciated." House responded with a wink at Lorraine, but Cuddy could tell she had distracted his attention. Thank god she wasn't wearing a bra tonight otherwise he would have just brushed her off and she would have to explain to Mr Sowerby at the next Board meeting why his daughter didn't want to come to fundraisers at the Hospital anymore. Lorraine caught the gist quicker than Cuddy would have guessed she would and she stood up with immense grace.
"Well Dr House, I've got to go and mingle," she ennunciated precisely, once more offering him her hand, "Come and find me later if you get bored," she breathed, and House brought the hand to his lips for a teasing kiss. Lorraine shot Cuddy a perplexed glance at her intrusion and wandered off into the crowd, no doubt after another conquest.
"I could have totally tapped that," House complained after he had watched the woman's ass sashay all the way across the room, and motioned to the barman to give him another bourbon. "You don't let me have any fun, Mom." Cuddy rolled her eyes and took the seat Lorraine had just vacated. She watched House at least try and be inconspicuous as he looked at her breasts breaching over the top of her little black silk dress and sighed. Brilliant doctor and genius or not, he was still just a man, and men were so easy to control.
"Cheap shot waving your breasts at me," House murmered into his drink and turned his gaze to Cuddy's face.
"Can't have you embarrassing the Hospital," Cuddy rejoined, sliding his glass away as soon as it touched the bar "This is an important event, House. We need this money or we're in real trouble."
"I'm here, aren't I?" House glared, and reached for his cane. "At least let me drink this into a semi-reasonable evening." He hauled himself to his feet and stood in front of Cuddy, purposely invading her personal space. He leaned over her, one arm on the bar, and she smelt bourbon and that unmistakable musky male smell that came off House like pheremones. Cuddy took in a deep breath and held it as she gazed into his intent blue eyes. He smirked and stood up straight and she realised she'd been had. House finished off his bourbon which he had taken back up off the bar and threw her a bright smile. Brilliant doctor and business genuis or not, she was still just a woman, and women were so easy to contorl.
Cuddy squeezed her eyes shut, hoping that would encourage her headache to disappear, and when it didn't she popped an asperin and massaged her temples in the ladies', wondering when she got so many fine lines on her face. She was bone tired. Playing the hostess was always tiring and tonight just seemed to go on forever. She had mingled and laughed and been so charming that her mouth hurt where she had plastered on a smile. On the plus side, the evening had raised more money than anticipated; but she was still looking forward to going home and collapsing on the sofa. She walked stiffly out of the ladies and glanced around at the janitors and waiters cleaning and tidying the reception room. The last guest had left with the arrival of her headache and now all she had to do was one last sweep around the room, thank the help, and she could run away.
"Thank you," she managed to a particularly handsome waitress who had taken Mr Sowerby's lechery with quite good grace all night. The girl nodded and finished wiping up the beer stained bar. Cuddy peeped over to see how much wine was left and whether she could appropriate a bottle without too much fuss and gasped. There behind the bar, curled up in a foetal position and surrounded by empties, was House. Cuddy literally stamped her feet. So this was his idea of not embarrassing the Hospital? She lifted the hatch and knelt down next to the sleeping man.
"House!" she didn't yell, but the threat in her voice was enough to rouse him with a groan. "What the Hell?" she motioned at him and where they were, and House blinked groggily, trying to figure out what the problem was.
"I made myself s-scare," he hiccuped, and Cuddy only just restrained herself from hitting him. She considered that at least he had been hidden from general view, but that didn't soften her mood more than the tiniest bit. She looked round and spotted the barman trying to make a quiet escape. "Excuse me, you let him get like this, you're helping me carry him to the car." she ordered in her toughest boss voice, and the man dutifully complied despite House's best protests that he wasn't even drunk, somewhat ruined by his slurred speech and inability to hold up his own weight. On the way to the car, Cuddy counted all the different ways she could kill him and how she could get away with it.
By the time they reached House's apartment, he had actually sobered up quite a bit thanks to having his head forced out of the window on the way and so blasted by the icy winter air. He wasn't quite at the hangover stage yet, though he was happily tipsy and now very much aware that he was in danger of being skinned alive by his boss. He still had to lean on Cuddy's shoulder to get through his front door, but he was able to still support some of his weight on the cane, albeit unsteadily.
"No," he managed as Cuddy steered him towards the couch. "Bed." She considered just throwing him onto the sofa anyway but knew that would only cause more hassle and a conversation about how she's cruel to cripples. She steadied herself and pulled him down the hall before lowering him onto the bed. Hands free once more, she massaged her temples and frowned. Asperin really didn't have a chance against House.
"Cuddy," she looked at House lay on the bed in the soft lamplight and felt her anger melt a bit. "I appreciate it." She almost fell over with shock.
"Was that something approaching an apology?" she gawped, and House chuckled as he clumsily unbuttoned his shirt with inebriated fingers.
"Don't take advantage of me," he slurred, and gave a little triumphant noise as he succeeded in removing his shirt. It was only then that Cuddy realised where she was and in what situation. House was drunk, it was the middle of the night, no one knew she was here, and House was undressing himself with a drunk's total lack of self-consciousness.
"But House," she smiled, "This is the perfect time to take advantage of you." That made him lift his head up and reassess the situation. Cuddy lowered herself onto the bed next to him and House laughed abruptly as he lay back on the bed. She raked her eyes over his chest and stomach, drinking in the sight, and wondered if she was being a little bit evil. Probably.
She leaned over the prone man, touching the surprisingly soft skin of his chest, and planted the softest feathery kiss on his lips. These too were softer than expected. He reacted a lot quicker than she expected, grabbing her round the waist and pulling her off balance so she now lay straddling him. He kissed her with a fierce passion, probing his hot tongue into her hungry mouth and still pulling her down onto his body like he wanted to melt them together. She finally managed to take a breath and saw the fire in his eyes as her breasts heaved against his bare skin. "H-House," she stammered, feeling now extremely out of her depth. House flipped her over so he was now on top of her and began devouring her neck and chest with his tongue and teeth. "H-House," she repeated, but this time it didn't sound how she wanted it to sound. It sounded breathy and needy and lusty. He grunted and raised himself to look her straight in the eye. His hair was ruffled and his lips were swollen from the force of his attentions, and she didn't think she'd ever seen anything so sexy.
"Yeah?" he drawled with an amazing amount of self control, and Cuddy sat up to slither her dress down to her waist, not willing to be outdone. If he wanted to act like this was nothing, so would she. Cuddy smiled innocently and lay back down again, loving the hunger in his eyes and he took in the sight before him.
"Nothing." she whispered, impressed at how blase she managed to sound. House rolled them over again and shifted Cuddy up so she now sat astride his lap, giving him perfect access to her luxurious breasts. He nibbled on her nipples and slid his hands all over her back before working them up into her hair as he came up for another kiss. Cuddy was actually panting. She raked her nails down House's back and felt him arch into the pain with a hiss. She could feel his erection pressing up against her through the remaining layers of clothes and she wriggled as much as humanly possible while continuing to kiss him to his visible enjoyment.
"You glad I chased Lorraine away?" she muttered with a giggle and House responded by shoving her dress up over her hips so the whole (expensive) thing sat in creases around her tiny waist. He grabbed onto her buttocks and gave them a few sharp little spanks.
"No more talking," he commanded, even as she pushed him down so she lay ontop of him again "Unless it's to scream my name, that's allowed." He manouvered them again so that this time he lay on top and they both grinned with the knowledge that the power struggle could continue even in this most unusual of situations. House slid his hand down from her neck, over her full breasts and toned stomach right the way down between her legs and Cuddy made a strangled little noise in the back of her throat. House began working his fingers slowly and expertly over and around her swollen clit and Cuddy's nails dug into House's shoulders as she tried to hold back. Then suddenly his fingers were gone, and Cuddy almost keened at the lack of them; until she heard House unzipping his fly.
He entered her with an urgent thrust that Cuddy felt in the pit of her stomach and they both cried out. They had waited so long for this, House didn't want to spoil it by falling at the first hurdle. He stayed perfectly still on top of her and instead concentrated on kissing her lips and neck. Cuddy took the opportunity to explore his body. She grabbed his firm buttocks and gave him a little spank in retribution for his earlier, and that seemed to galvanise him. House grabbed her wrist and put it above her head before he began to move his hips in a maddeningly slow rhythm.
The orgasm crashed through Cuddy before she had time to prepare for it and she wondered if House had sold his soul to the devil for skills like that. She hadn't been surprised into an orgasm in...well, ever. But there wasn't much time to think over how it had come about as the next was already on it's way. She was still trying to hold back, and this made the noises coming out of her mouth sound like mewing. House liked.
"Purr for me, kitty," he growled, and Cuddy could feel by the erratic quality of his thrusts that he was almost ready. She gripped onto him harder and clamped down, and then they were both crying out and panting into the sudden quiet.
"You didn't scream my name," House complained hours later as they both lay side by side, unable to sleep even after they had had sex twice more after that first urgent fumble. "You didn't scream mine." Cuddy murmered turning over and tweaking his nipple playfully.
"Well, never mind," he sniffed "I'll just add that bit in when I tell everyone about this tomorrow."
Cuddy sat up straight and forced House to look at her. "Now listen, this isn't even funny, House-"
"I know, it was a joke!" he protested, rubbing her thigh and nuzzling against her neck. "Besides," Cuddy knew what was coming "I'm not even due in work tomorrow. It'll wait until Monday."
"Jerk."
