Hahahaha Just had this crazy idea in my head.
Not too lemony... unless youre sick minded like me ;)
Some swearing in general conversation.
Basically, Alice sees a vision of Edward and Bella, and, like she does, while she is 'trapped' in her vision, she is talking to the people in it, rather than those surrounding her... so the things she says to E&B in her head come out very, very wrong to the rest of the Cullens...
And Bella gets a little protective over an ice-cream. Bella and FOOD? My lord! The world has gone mad.
Cullen's House. E&B have been at Isle Esme for about four days now.
Esme and Carlisle were out hunting, not minding that it was in the middle of the day; no one would be out in the woods in the middle of a thunderstorm; too dangerous for humans. Emmett and Jasper were playing COD, utterly engrossed, while Alice is rearranging some furniture and Rosalie is watching TV in the same room.
Alice freezes with the chair in her hand and Rosalie notices the sudden stillness and turns to her.
"Alice, what's up?"
Alice was too far away; her eyes unfocused as she immersed herself in the vision. Jasper and Emmett appeared in the room; waiting to listen to Alice's vision and be aware if anything was going wrong with Edward or Bella.
"Alice?" Emmett waved his hand in front of her face but she simply swayed on the spot a smile coming to her face before she frowned in disgust.
"Ewww, Edward, please don't tell me you're going to actually lick her- See? She didn't want you to either!"
Emmett blinked once and then roared with laughter.
"Alice what the hell is going on?" He asked between spasms. Jasper shook his head; feeling that Alice's vision wasn't as sexual as Emmett interpreted. Alice was still frowning.
"Oh well yes I can understand why you aren't going to try that again anytime soon, moron! What do you want her to do? Hold back your hair as you go-"
Jasper snorted and Rosalie hid her giggle as Emmett rolled around on the floor, with no self-control.
"Alice?" Jasper asked, shaking her shoulders. Alice snapped out of her vision, blinking before coming back to the present. Emmett was still chortling.
"Mmm?" Alice answered him.
"What the fuck was our little virgin Eddy getting messed up in? Sheets, I hope," said Emmett.
Rosalie cracked a smile then quickly hid it again, "Yeah... I'm a little curious to know what he was doing wrong... but please don't give me full details. Picturing Edward giving Bell-"
"So what happened?" Asked Jasper.
Alice took a deep breath, frowning at her sick-minded brother, sister and husband.
What ACTUALLY happened...
BPOV
It was too hot to sit around inside, not that Edward would just let me 'do nothing', he was concocting a scheme... a scheme to try and control my hormones.
So I was sitting on the beach, eating an ice-cream that had at least three full sized scoops. It tasted absolutely wonderful and I felt smug that Edward was lying next to me, having to eat whatever actually lived on this island. I giggled quietly as I tried to picture him, trying to catch a parrot. Edward sat up, his skin reflecting off my sunglasses.
"What's so funny?" He asked, smiling, then seeing the bruise just under my sunglasses and his face went blank. I sighed, he would seriously need to get over this; soon.
"Nothing... just a really good ice-cream," I said taking another lick, savouring the chocolatey-goodness, smiling, until it gave me brain freeze. I rubbed my hand on my head.
"Argh! Brain freeze," I gritted my teeth together. When it was over, Edward gave me a concerned look.
"Brain freeze?"
"Yes, brain freeze. It feels like someone's thrown a snowball onto the inside of your brain," he was smiling at me now, making fun.
I frowned.
"What's so funny?" I asked acidly.
"You're adorable. Just when I thought this would be a safe day, you manage to hurt yourself... With food."
"Well it's cold. It wouldn't be as cold to you now, would it?" I snapped at him and he actually laughed.
"Probably not. Probably just feel the same temperature," he shrugged, then took a huge lick of my ice-cream, just where I was about to lick. I pursed my lips together and gritted my teeth. The one thing I wanted to really do today... that he would comply to... and he had to ruin it again.
How the hell do you please this guy? I want sex, he says maybe, then rejects me, then yes, then no. I want an ice-cream, I have a lick, get brain-freeze, and get laughed at and lose some valuable deliciousness that I may never get back.
Unless I have another ice-cream.
While thinking this through, a look came over Edward that I vaguely recognised... his eyes became wide and his pupils expanded and his face became even paler.
"Be right back," he said through gritted teeth, sprinting off the beach, scaring the crap out of me. Then I realized where I had seen that expression before; he was sick. I got to my feet and rearranged my bathers to hide anything that might've been visible and ran towards the house.
"Edward?" I called out, and I could hear him in the bathroom.
I opened the door, and sure enough, he had been sick. He sat on the cool tiles and watched me with a shamed look. I crossed my arms over my chest.
"Did you forget that you were a vampire? You might experience a certain level of lactose intolerance..." I teased him, but he just looked up at me and I felt sorry for him so I went and sat next to him, holding him.
"Sorry. But you should've known better."
"Than to eat ice-cream or steal your food?" He asked hoarsely.
"Both. Don't worry, I'll steal your food and then we'll be even."
He half-smiled and I kissed him on the forehead, rubbing his cool back.
There is more coming! Just need some ideas... -HINT HINT. hehehe.
