"Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking," a cheery voice echoed through the cabin. "We are now approaching Heathrow Airport…"
"Very good Arthur," Douglas interrupted, his voice dripping with sarcasm.
"Really?" Arthur's face lit up, though it was hard to see the difference, due to his always
exceptionally cheery disposition.
"Yes," Douglas said, putting just a little too much emphasize on the word. "Except that you're supposed to be telling them we're about to land…"
"I was getting to that bit!" Arthur brightly interrupted Douglas.
"On Gatwick Airport."
Arthur's face fell. "Oh."
"That's quite enough of that, thank you very much," Martin said, grabbing the intercom from Arthur's hand. "I am still the captain and I make the announcements."
"Certainly, captain ," Douglas said, putting more disdain in that single word than most people are capable of picking up on. "Go right ahead." Douglas looked through the open cabin door - Arthur was still keeping it open, the familiar smile had returned to his face by now. "Your audience is all ears," Douglas added, looking into the empty cabin.
Martin seemed to either ignore the clear sarcasm in Douglas' voice - which he'd gotten remarkably good at, what with having to deal with that voice for two years now, or he had truly stopped noticing it.
"Ladies and gentlemen, this is captain Crieff speaking. We are now…"
"Yes, we know!" Came Carolyn's voice from the cabin. She was moving swiftly down the isle, with a look on her face that made Arthur promptly let go of the cabin door. Before it'd had the time to shut properly, Carolyn had already reached it and violently swung it open again.
"Could we," she started saying, while putting one hand on Martin's chair and the other one on Douglas' chair. "Could we, for once, pretend to be a proper company." Both Martin and Douglas noted her refusal to use the word airline. Arthur got distracted by something he saw in the cabin and stopped paying attention.
"We are, for the very first time, landing at Gatwick Airport, most likely the biggest airport we've landed on, yet," Carolyn continued, "and I'd like to give the impression that we are in fact aviation professionals."
"Rather than a travelling group of trapeze artists," Douglas added, Carolyn glared at him. Martin tried as well, but ended up simply sighing. Arthur failed to hear any of it.
"So when we leave this plane and enter the airport," Carolyn continued, ignoring Douglas - or trying to as she always did, "I would like to see you all be on your best behaviour...," she gave them both a look that showed she wanted them to listen. She tried to give Arthur the same look, but he seemed off in his own world and Carolyn let him. She took a deep breath. "I would very much prefer to avoid another incident like in Greece."
"You mean when Martin got arrested as a terrorist," Douglas said dryly.
"I did not!" Martin squealed.
"And we had to go get him."
"I did not get arrested!" Martin exclaimed. "I never even left the airport!"
"Because they wouldn't let you," Douglas added dryly.
"Well, yes… erm. It was all sorted out in the end."
"Yes, after a strip-search, was it?" Douglas asked, fully aware of the answer.
Martin flushed and then glared at Douglas. Carolyn sat down in the jump seat. Arthur wondered if the chairs had always been this particular shade of blue.
"It wasn't…" Martin started to say, but stopped, remembering the incident now - every second of it. He cleared his throat. "It was standard procedure."
"Yes," Douglas said, "and why was it that they thought you were a terrorist?"
Martin's face became a painful looking red now. "I still think it was…"
"You wouldn't let them check your bag," Douglas interrupted.
"I am an airline captain!" Martin yelped. "I do not…"
"Alright," Carolyn said and stood up. "If you two could reminisce some other time, I do believe we were supposed to be landing now," she said, leaving the cabin and pushing Arthur out in front of her.
"This plane could land itself, baby," Douglas called out after her, in his mocking voice. Martin was sure this was another reference he didn't get, so he laughed just in case.
