A/N: I thought that this would be a fun one to write… it's AU but the song is pretty self-explanatory and sets up the story so I won't say anything :) happy reading!!

JoLu – I Wish

It had been raining for three days. Johnny Zacchara snapped his phone shut and shuddered at the sharp crackle of thunder. He walked to his desk and sat down in front of the papers that Claudia had given him to acquire a piece of land to develop a new nightclub in Port Charles. Suddenly, there was a sharp knocking at the door. The knock jolted him out of his chair and sent his heart racing.

"Yes?" Johnny asked.

"A Mrs. Hayes to see you," the voice on the other side of the door said. Johnny closed his eyes and exhaled shakily. He couldn't believe that those words still stung like they did.

Mrs. Hayes… Mrs. Logan Hayes.

"Send her in," he said, pouring himself a shot of scotch. He was going to need a few more of these to prepare for her. The door opened and she walked in, slamming the door behind her. She was completely drenched. Her hair was soaked along with the dress that she was wearing like she had walked all the way from Port Charles to Crimson Pointe without an umbrella. Her bottom lip was trembling and her mascara was running down her face, maybe from the rain or maybe from crying. He swore underneath his breath. She was gorgeous. He sighed and shook his head. He hated himself for this.

"What do you want, Lulu?" he asked.

"I just wanted to tell you that this thing between us… it's done… over… I'm going to work things out with Logan… I owe the girls that much… I don't want to put them through a divorce." She said, clutching her purse.

"That's it? You came all the way here to end things?" he asked, raising his eyebrow.

"Yes," she exhaled.

"Fine then… go… you said what you needed to say… we're done." He said, going back to his papers.

"Is that all you have to say to me, Johnny?" she asked sadly.

He slammed the folder that he was holding onto the desk and she flinched at the sound. He exhaled again looked up at her. He was tired of doing this with her.

"What do you want me to say, Lulu? Huh? Do you want me to beg you to not to end things? Do you want me to yell at you out of jealous anger? Damn it, Lulu… you have a husband and two daughters… and I was just the fool who took up with a married woman… what am I supposed to do?" he asked.

It was love at first sight
I know from the way she looked at me
Her eyes said it all
Long days and nights, we spent
Until she dropped the bomb on me
When she said that she
Was unhappily married with children

And I wish I never met her at all
Even though I love her so
And she got love for me
But she still belongs to someone else

Lulu's eyes were brimming with tears. She covered her mouth with her hand and choked back a sob. He walked over to the table and poured another glass of scotch and gulped it down. He couldn't even bring himself to look at her as she cried.

"I know you're angry…" she said, softly.

"You have no idea how I feel…" he growled as the fury in his eyes grew.

"Johnny…" she started.

"You lied to me… for months…" he seethed.

"And I'm so sorry… I didn't—I didn't plan on…" she started.

"You didn't plan on what, Lulu? You didn't plan on meeting me that night? You didn't plan on lying to me about your life? What is it?" He barked, turning to her.

"I didn't plan on falling for you, Johnny!" she cried.

He blinked slowly, pretending that her words had no effect on him. She closed her eyes and tears spilled down her cheeks. He gritted his teeth and fought to not break down in front of her. He had spent way too many nights in pain thinking about another man touching her but he had no right to think that way… he wasn't her husband. He was the wrongdoer in this situation but it didn't make it any less painful. He tried to do the right thing and push her away after she told him about her husband and family but he couldn't help himself. He loved her too much…

"Don't you think I hate this? I hate lying to Logan and my girls… I hate what this is doing to them and I hate what this is doing to you! But what we're doing is… it's wrong… what I feel for you is wrong." she cried.

"So now I'm the bad guy here? I'm the evil person who's getting in the way of your happiness with Logan?" he asked.

"No! No… it's not your fault… I should've—there are a lot of things that I should've done and shouldn't have done… I should've told you sooner about my life but…" she started.

"But what?" he asked.

Lulu smiled and wiped a tear from her eye. She walked to him and cupped his face in her hands. He closed his eyes and exhaled shakily as she smoothed over his cheeks with her thumbs. He opened his eyes and looked into hers and could feel his expression softening.

"I loved the way that you looked at me… and held me… and kissed me." She said, her face inching towards his.

She was too close. He could smell the shampoo in her hair, count the freckles below her eyes, feel her breath on his face… her lips grazed his, barely touching. He shut his eyes and felt her lips gently slide over his top lip. He swallowed hard and tried not to respond. She drove him absolutely crazy. His hands instinctually went to her waist and she pressed her lips against his.

It hurts so bad, for sure
Because she wants to be with me
But she cannot be with me
She chose to stay, at home
So they could be a family
For the children
But what about me?

And I wish I never met her at all
Even though I love her so
And she got love for me
But she still belongs to someone else

Johnny backed Lulu against the wall near the door. She wrapped her arms around his neck as he broke away from her lips and ravaged her neck. She exhaled sharply and ran her fingers through his hair.

"Johnny," she panted.

He silenced her with another demanding kiss. He hated himself so much right now. He couldn't be strong enough to end things with a woman that he could have no future with. He heard the rattling of his belt buckle being unfastened and then felt Lulu's hands shakily unbuttoning his jeans and they quickly fell to the floor with a soft thud. Without removing himself from her, he hoisted her up against the wall, taking one of her slim thighs in each hand and she began unbuttoning his navy blue shirt. She tightened her legs, pulling his groin closer to her and he sighed. A shiver shot throughout his body as she kissed the crook of his neck and he practically tore off the black panties that she was wearing that were stopping him from having his way with this woman. He brought her hand up to her eye level and gently slid her engagement ring and wedding band off her finger.

"You're mine now…" he whispered, tossing the useless pieces of jewelry aside.

His hands forcefully bunched the skirt of her dress at her waist and he slid into her quickly, over and over again. He covered her mouth in a kiss, muffling all sound that came across their lips and they came quickly. Shaking from his release, he placed his head in the spot right below her chin. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders and held him, rubbing his back and kissing the top of his head. Never in his life had he done something like that. There was something about Lulu that could make him snap and turn him into someone that he couldn't even recognize. She was a drug and he was addicted. He released her from the wall and they began to straighten out their clothes, in silence.

"That was the last time…" she exhaled, smoothing out the wrinkles in her dress.

"You said that the last time…" he said, looking up at her.

"This time I mean it… where did you throw my rings?" she asked, searching the room.

"You never cease to amaze me, Lulu…" he growled, rolling his eyes.

"What's that supposed to mean?" she asked, turning to face him.

"I'm getting sick of you doing this to me, Lulu… you tell me that you love me and what you're doing to me is killing you… yet here you are, doing this again." He said.

"What would you have me do, Johnny? Huh? What do you want?" she cried.

"What do I want? I want you to leave him and come be with me! I want you to be my wife!" he yelled and she looked up at him, stunned by his words.

"What about my daughters?" she asked, softly.

"Bring them with you… we have plenty of room here in the mansion…" he started.

"Johnny…" she sighed.

"Lulu, I love you… more than anything else in this entire world… I want you with me… you and your daughters… I just—I need you, Lulu." He said.

His voice broke off and he turned around so that she couldn't see that he was tearing up. He bent over and picked up Lulu's engagement ring and wedding ring. He went back to her, holding the jewelry in his hand out to her. She looked up at him with pitiful eyes and she took her rings back.

"I don't want to be married to Logan anymore… and there's nothing that I want more in this world than to be your wife, Johnny…" she said softly, looking at the rings sitting in the palm of her hand. Johnny smiled and walked over to her, wanting to take her in his arms but she backed away.

"But I can't do that to my girls…" she said, a single tear sliding down her cheek.

Maybe in another life
Things could be the way we both desired
It's a catch-22
Either way it went
Someone had to lose

And I wish I never met her at all
Even though I love her so
She's got love for me
But she still belongs to someone else

He swallowed hard as she put the rings back on her finger. Those words were like a knife in his stomach. He couldn't be angry with her for wanting to keep her family together. It actually made him love her more, staying in a marriage for the stability of her home. He walked over to the table and poured himself another heaping glass of scotch. He knocked back the glass in one gulp and slammed the glass down on the table. It didn't make it hurt any less though. He felt her hand come up behind him and caress his shoulder. He removed her hand from his shoulder and folded his arms.

"Ok… I'll go…" she said quietly.

"You don't have to go," he said quickly, turning around.

She picked up her purse off of the floor and smiled at him in that you-don't-understand kind of way. She walked back over to him and cupped his face in her hands. Her touch was like heaven but was killing him at the same time.

"I regret a lot of things in my life… things that I've done or haven't done, said or haven't said… but I will never regret falling in love with you, Johnny… do you hear me? You have given me so much joy and so much life and I will always love you." she said.

He closed his eyes and felt tears falling from his eyes. She brushed them away gently and kissed him lovingly. He brought his hands and cupped her face in his hands. He didn't want to let her go. She was the only woman that he had ever truly loved and he knew that she would be the only woman that he would ever love and she was leaving him to go back to her husband, a man that she didn't love and didn't even want to be married to anymore.

"This isn't fair… you love me and I love you… you—you belong with me…" he said, his voice shaky with emotion.

"I belong with my family…" she said, pulling away from him. She backed away from him and headed towards the door. He picked up the empty glass and held it in his hand.

"You'll be back… I know it… and I'll be here, waiting…" he said, without looking up at her.

He heard the door open and close and then Lulu's footsteps softly fading away in the hallway. He threw the glass across the room, shattering it against the dark brown wooden wall of the study and a knock at the door accompanied the sound soon after.

"Mr. Zacchara, are you alright in there?" one of the guards asked.

"No… I'm not…" Johnny muttered.

I wish, I wish, I never met her at all
I wouldn't hurt so much inside
Oh, I wouldn't feel this pain
If I never met her
at all… at all... at all

Carl Thomas – I Wish