~A Standard Life~
A Collection of Cupcake Stories
Day 1
It is the Burg wedding of the century. The man who owns the most hairy ass in Trenton and the woman who finally wants to settle down and pop up a lot of babies are going to tie the knot after all these years of on-and-off cheap cliché soap opera. It looks like God himself approves of this marriage. The weather is perfect. The flower arrangement is elegant. The cello and the Yamaha keyboard are beautifully played in harmony. The church is crowded with excited and happily chatting guests. The groom's mother is trying all she can to stop her crazy mother-in-law from putting the infamous Eye on whoever wearing pink, and the bride's mother is all smile and happy tears.
The family and friends of both parties give a collective cheer as the tall, dark and extremely hairy groom walks to the alter with a big bright smile. Minutes later, the bride shows up in a lovely, respectable creamy wedding dress approved by both mothers. The quests then dutifully say "Wow!" at the same time as if they have never seen a more beautiful bride. 10 minutes later, the bride is officially married to the man who molested her and lots and lots of little girls in his father's dark dirty smelly garage when he was only 8. Everybody stands up and claps as the bride and groom walk down the aisle together as a couple, and row by row the guests follow the newly-wedded out of the church to see them off to their honeymoon. They smile heartily—some of the more sentimental old ladies start weeping—and wave goodbye to the happy couple.
The grinning groom gets in the driver's seat and turns the key, and ignites the car bomb placed by one of his precious Cupcake's crazy old skips and blows his brand new Ford Fiesta up into an insanely huge fireball. Yes, both of them die along with the car on the spot. But at least they die together, as husband and wife.
End of Day 1
~Till Death Do We Apart~
