Song used: War on Drugs (Please go listen to it if you haven't heard it)
Artist: Barenaked Laides
Warning: This has talk of drugs and suicide and it's dark.
Title: The Last Night
Bella sat on her bed with a note pad as she tried to draw a picture of her first and only love from memory. It was the only way she could look at him. Her drawings never did him justice though; nothing could ever do the justice of having her first love next to her. She sighed at the outcome as she place it down next to her.
She sat in her bed with her knees up to her chest for some time. She turned on her radio as the night set in. The moon was shining outside leaving a light haze coming through her window. She was torn apart since that dreadful day.
She likes to sleep with the radio on
So she can dream of her favorite song
The one that no one has ever sung, since she was small
She laid down in her bed, trying to remember that song that seemed so distant now. How did it go? She couldn't remember, one day though, she would remember and she would have it played repeatedly.
She looked over at the picture she drew of him. Her true love with his crooked smile. She smiled as tears ran down her face. She tore the page out and crinkled it into a ball, then tossed it into the garbage can, just as he did to her heart.
She'll never know that she made it up
She had a soul and we ate it up
Thrown away like a paper cup, the music falls
She was planning on becoming famous in a chance to get him to recognize her once more. She had a book written and it was becoming widespread. Everyone knew the name, everyone except the few she was hoping would actually get it. The book was called, "A True Lovers Story." She wrote it as fiction but little did everyone know, it was very far from fiction.
There was only one problem…who's to say that they would ever read it. Her father said to move on. Her only love left her five years ago. Everyone she knows says it is pointless for her to keep thinking he will come back.
The only flaw in her detailed plan
Is where she wins back the love of her man
Everyone knows that he's never coming back
How could she just forget him though? Sure it was three years ago but she gave him her heart, her everything. In exchange, he left her with nothing. Nothing but a small memory that played in the back of her head as if to tease her. She walked out to her living room to grab her keys and then walked out to her new car.
He took her heart and she took his name
He couldn't stand taking all the blame
He left her only with guilt and shame and then she cracked
The rain was pouring down, she never left Forks. It was her safe haven. A place where she knew he could find her when he changed his mind. She started up her new Volvo that she had bought after her old truck bit the dust. She turned on the windshield wipers and lights as she started to drive down the road. It was now late, at least ten o'clock.
She had money and fame but she would trade it all away just to have the life she had dreamed of.
Won't it be dull when we rid ourselves
Of all these demons haunting us
To keep us company
Bella drove wherever her mind wanted too. She had thoughts of suicide before, several times actually. Drowning in a bathtub, jumping off a cliff, rope in the closet…she couldn't think of what her parents and friends would have to go through after such a dreadful death.
In the dream I refuse to have
She falls asleep in a lukewarm bath
We're left to deal with the aftermath again
She noticed people sitting in the bars drinking their lives away. She was clean now for five months so she didn't want to take a chance of going back to her old ways. After her book became a best seller and everyone wanted to be her, she found herself finding drugs and alcohol. None of it sealed the pain she felt knowing he won't come back but still wishing he would.
On behalf of humanity
I will fight for your sanity
How profound such profanity can be?
Bella parked outside of her favorite bar. Jim owned it. He was told by her dad not to give her any drinks though and they were such good friends that he refused to see her the way she was before. He said okay and would only give her sodas and virgin drinks. She felt a tear fall down her face; this wasn't the life she wanted. Why couldn't she think of something else? Why was this her night every night? Driving aimlessly with no where to go.
Won't it be dull when we rid ourselves
Of all these demons haunting us
To keep us company
Bella drove off, not wanting to see Jim right now. She didn't want to see him on her last night. He might talk her out of it. Bella was supposed to be happy, she drove past a book store with her books right in the window. Her sequel was supposed to come out next week, too bad she wouldn't see it come out. She slowed as she passed by, seeing a small twelve year old reading the back of the cover. She pulled over and got out of the car and went inside.
"Hello." She smiled to the girl.
The girl looked up and her smile widened. "You're Isabella Swan!"
"Yes, would you like me to sign your book?" she asked. She could help someone out, her last helpful thing. At least she could make someone happy before her life here was done.
"Sure!" The girl hand Bella the book as Bella took a pen out of her purse and opened it. "What's your name?"
"Alice." The little girl smiled, "Just like in your book!"
Bella let out an amused smiled as she wrote,
'To Alice,
With best luck and the up most care. Never loose your dreams and don't let anyone tell you that something can't be changed. Live for today and never for tomorrow.
Bella Swan.'
"There you go Alice." Bella said handing the book back to the girl. "Take care. Here's a little money to buy the book." She said to the girl as she hand her a hundred dollar bill. She wouldn't need it anyways.
"Thank you so much! Wait until my friends find out that I got your signature!" The girl ran off.
Bella noticed a familiar face in the book store when she was turning to leave but when she looked back, the person was gone. She shrugged it off and walked back out in the rain, back to her car.
Won't it be odd to be happy like we
Always thought we're supposed to feel
But never seem to be
She drove out to a small overpass and parked her car in the wet grass as she turned off her lights. She sighed as the rain pelted the window. A woman threw herself off the other week. There was no saving her. According to the news, the woman died instantly.
Near where I live there's a viaduct
Where people jump when they're out of luck
Raining down on the cars and trucks below
Bella got out of her car as she walked up to it and started to walk across the small overpass. What were the chances of her suffering at all? She noticed a net at halfway down as she sat on the overpass watching cars go by. She felt a tear roll down her cheek again but it was hard to tell if it was still her tears or the rain. She thought of what it would be like to free fall from this distance.
They've put a net there to catch their fall
Like it'll stop anyone at all
What they don't know is when nature calls, you go
She sighed as she put her hand around the cross that was chained around her neck. Renee got that for her when she started to attend church. Renee was trying to get Bella to start going claiming that God could cure everything. Bella decided to not give it a try.
They say that Jesus and mental health
Are just for those who can help themselves
But what good is that when you live in hell on earth?
She looked down at the cars going by. This was stupid, to put Renee and Charlie though such turmoil. They will blame themselves and she won't be able to console them. Charlie already sent her to rehab once for drugs and alcohol, as they said at the rehab that was proof that her parents love her. She was afraid of what would happen when she died, but she was also afraid of what may happen if she stayed alive.
From the very fear that makes you want to die
Is just the same as what keeps you alive
It's way more trouble than some suicide is worth
She stayed silent as the rain came down harder. The thunder rolled in the distance. To do it or to not do it? It could all end tonight.
Won't it be dull when we rid ourselves
Of all these demons haunting us
To keep us company
Bella stood up on the overpass now, still looking at the cars going by. No one noticed she was up there…or no one cared. What would life be like if she did get what she wanted? Would her life be different?
Won't it be odd to be happy like we
Always thought we're supposed to feel
But never seem to be
Bella went into her pocket where the last of her cocaine was. She had kept some even after she was clean five months back. She threw it over the over pass, she promised herself she would never take it again after a fateful night where she watched helplessly as her good friend slipped away from an overdose. Maybe she could stay around a bit longer. Life wasn't that bad right? She watched the small packet as it got ran over and turned to dust in the road.
Hard to admit I fought the war on drugs
My hands were tied and the phone was bugged
Another died and the world just shrugged it off
No one cared that her friend died that night and no one in the world would care if she died tonight but she knew two people who would care. She couldn't ruin their lives over it.
She started to walk back when her foot slipped and her heart started to race as her feet fell from the over pass. Her hand went up in a last ditch effort to grab the bridge, what she wasn't expecting was a cold hand to grab hers instead. She was hanging now, trying to catch her breath. She looked up into an old friends eyes.
"Alice?" she muttered. She thought it was her old friend that she saw at the book store but she figured the little girl's name was just bringing back old memories.
"Hold on Bella." She muttered as she picked Bella up and into her arms.
"What are you doing here?"
"Stopping you from doing a stupid thing over a stupid boy." She said chuckling from the situation.
"How can you laugh?" She asked.
"You're safe now." Alice said, "isn't that enough to laugh at?"
Bella felt herself get thrown into a warm car.
Alice got into the driver's side, "The seats are heated. I kept the car nice and warm."
"Why didn't you come sooner?" Bella asked as she strapped her seatbelt in.
"You had to make the decision yourself."
"What decision? To kill myself?"
"No silly, to not kill yourself." Alice said as she drove off. "We are going to get you some Ben and Jerry's and we are going to sit down and have a girl's night and catch up on everything we missed."
"Nothing much has changed." Bella muttered.
"Nothing much?" Alice queried. "How do you explain this?" She put out a book in Bella's lap.
"You guys read it?"
"Everyone but one. He's been in South America for a year now."
Bella was thankful that Alice didn't use his name.
"So…he doesn't know I came for you." She said to Bella.
"Keep it that way."
"No can do, we are all going to come back for you. He will accept it over time."
Bella wouldn't show it now but she was happy. She was actually ecstatic over it. "Won't it be odd?"
"What's odd?"
"Won't it be odd to be happy like we always thought we were supposed to feel." Bella put her hand to the window as the rain hitting it.
"Start being happy cuz I won't let you out of my site." Alice smiled at Bella before parking in a convenience store. "Girls night. What's your favorite flavor?"
"Cookie Dough or Cherry Garcia."
Alice walked inside as Bella sat in the car. A tear escaped her eyes. Was this happening?
Alice came back out, "I got you both. Now you are going to tell me everything." Alice said as she drove back to Bella's place.
Bella smiled as Alice parked in her parking spot. "You are all coming back." Bella said more as a statement than a question.
"We will be moved in by tomorrow." Alice said.
"I'm happy to hear that." Bella said to her. She looked down at her lap where the ice cream was placed.
Alice allowed Bella to soak everything in as she sat there staring at the rain. "I'm sorry I left."
"It's alright, it got me to thinking and I realized just how happy I really was." Bella closed her eyes, perhaps her life would get better now and this won't be her last night here.
Just a one shot. I heard it on my CD the other day and I don't know why but I thought of this happening. I don't condone suicide and would ask anyone who had thoughts of such a thing to please find help! I hope it wasn't too sad…
Please review!
