iIgnorance
A/N: Okay so going to the Paramore concert inspired me to write this. Okay actually I wrote it before the concert but am posting it after, and the concert was flippin' AWESOME. Like totally badass. Anyway, based on the song 'Ignorance' by...i think you know who. Sam's POV
Everyone who knows me, knows not to mess with me. I mean I am the Sam Puckett, tough and graceful at the same time. But some people just don't run in fear when I walk around the corner. By people, I mean a certain dork. Yes, Fredward Benson is the root of my problems.
Not only is he the only dork in school who isn't afraid of me, but also hangs around me on a regular basis. Okay so maybe this wasn't always the case. I remember when he was just a small fry and he used to be so scared of me. But something changed. I think it was the puberty. He not only became bigger and possibly, although I hate to admit it, stronger than me, but he got some nerve too.
But all these stuff wasn't the worst part. The worst part is that I actually, honestly, truly...think...I uh...have a crush on the geek. Wow that was hard to say but yeah I have a crush on my best frenemy, but to him I'm just the horrible person who torments his life day after day.
It's like a cycle, I hurt him, he grumbles and I hurt him again. However, he isn't as perturbed by my shenanigans anymore, which kinda sucks. I mean it was the highlight of my day whenever I pushed his buttons. Hey, who says I can't torment someone I like. And all this, believe it or not, actually made us bond for some weird reason. So I figured it was time to tell him. Yep, the day that I tell Freddie Benson that I like him.
So I walked into school, proceeding to my locker. It was then that I saw Freddie at his locker, doing who knows what. I took a deep breath. This is it.
"Yo Benson!" I shouted. He didn't even look up at me.
"What up Puckett." he said, flipping through the pages of his book. I snatched the book out of his hands and threw it into his locker. "What's the big deal!" He shouted.
"I needed to talk to you okay." I said back, looking at him in the eyes. He stood there for a while, not moving.
"Well...go one then." he said. I shook my head, realizing I had just zoned out.
"Okay, I don't know how to say this so I'm just going to say it..." I said and looked at him. He raised his eyebrows, asking me to carry on. "Okay..." I let out a sigh. "I like you."
"Yeah I like you too." He said, turning to his locker.
"Wait you do?" I asked, slightly confused. I hoped he didn't take it the wrong way, thinking I meant like as in friend.
"Yeah." He dragged the word, sarcasm dripping from his lips this time. I now knew he was mocking me.
"I'm not lying." I said.
"Yeah sure Puckett. You like torment me everyday. Do you even think I would believe that you like me. I mean that's your worst prank to date. I know I may be gullible sometimes but I'm not that gullible." He said.
I was in shock. He was blaming me for something I had no intention of doing at all. He was judging me, just like that, not even considering if it could be true. I mean I didn't even do anything and he just judged me.
"You know what Benson, if you are so ready to judge me before you even know the truth then maybe I am wrong. I thought you were the nice guy I always knew. Guess I was wrong." I said and stormed off.
Okay so that didn't go well. I spent the next few days, trying to get over the jerk. Thinking he wasn't the right one, but then he had to go and ruin that too. So he comes up to me one day during lunch. Carly was out sick so I was sitting at the table alone, enjoying as much as I can, the hideous monster they call food on my tray.
"Hey can I sit here?" A familiar voice said. I knew who it was and didn't look up or say anything. He sat down anyway. I avoided looking at him at all cost. From the corner of my eye, I could see him, simply sitting there. I could feel his eyes burning holes in me. I resisted as long as I could but finally I couldn't take it anymore.
"What is it Benson!" I shouted, the tone of my voice laced with malice.
"Look, I just wanted to say...I'm sorry." He said.
"For what." I spat out.
"For what happened that day. I wasn't fair to you. I mean I just took everything you said as a joke but I didn't think if you were actually telling the truth. So I' m sorry." He said.
"Sorry doesn't change the fact that you..." I was cut off.
"Sam I like you too. I really, really like you." He said. My mouth fell, the feeling in my hands disappeared and the fork between my fingers slipped and fell to the table. I eyes were fixed on his, a blush creeping up on his cheeks. Slowly I started to smile. Right there, I felt like the world was perfect, nothing could make this bad.
But that was 2 years back. You know how some people say that some people never change. Well, what you don't usually think about is the remaining people that do change. I'm happy to say that I'm one of those who didn't really change very significantly, but less can be said about my boyfriend. The sweet little Freddie Benson I once knew was no more. Replaced by a jerk who checks out every girl who walks by. So I had to do what any girlfriend would do to an unfaithful boyfriend.
"Freddie." I called out.
"Hey hot stuff." He said as he leaned against his locker. I was just going to say it.
"Freddie, I'm dumping you." I said, as blunt and straight forward as I could, but to my surprise, he laughed.
"Is it April Fool's already? Good one babe." he said. I shook my head, I was afraid this was going to happen.
"Don't babe me. Listen Freddie, I'm serious. It's over." I said and turned around. I felt a hand on my wrist and I turned around.
"What? Why?" He said, clearly shocked.
"Why? My boyfriend is a jerk, that's why. Freddie, I've been tolerating it for a long time. You always say you would change, but the thing is, you already did change. This isn't the guy I fell in love with Freddie. I fell in love with the sweet Freddie, the one I was best friends with. I can't take it lying down anymore. Countless times I've given you chances and every time you let me down. Well, this is the last straw." I said, panting slightly. It felt good to let out every thing I kept bottled up for so long.
"But Sam please. I promise I will change if that's what you want. I will. I will go back to the old Freddie. Sam please just don't..." he said.
"Freddie, I'm not the girl you once knew. I am not going to fall for your tricks. Not again. I'll be a fool if I let that happen one more time. I've given you so many chances Freddie. More than anyone ever should." I said.
"Sam, you don't understand. A lot of things happened to me the past few years. I found out why my father left, Carly hates me, and now you hate me too. Please Sam." he said.
"Freddie, I don't want to hear your sad songs. Everyone has problems and everyone has pain. You can only blame yourself." I said. The look in his eyes changed. He didn't look sad anymore but was replaced with anger.
"No, it was you. I mean, you always torment me Sam. I thought that after we started dating that you would lay off. But you didn't. You know how difficult being the boyfriend of a dictator?" He said. I was furious. He turned the situation on me, putting the blame on me.
"Yeah I don't know. That's because we are different people Freddie. If you couldn't stand me picking on you, you could have always told me. I mean we were best friends. Did you honestly think that if you told me it was hurtful I wouldn't back off." I said.
"That's because you always think you are right. I don't even think we were really best friends." He said.
"Fine if that's the way you feel." I turned to leave, but after two steps I realized I wasn't done. I turned back to face the stupid idiot in front of me. "You know, these past two years, it's like I don't even know you. You treat me just like a stranger. I was your girlfriend. The least you could do was show a little more affection to me. But I guess you were too busy checking out every other girl in school. It's no wonder Carly found you obnoxious. So how does it feel. Both of your friends are leaving you. Now you will know what it's really like to be treated like a stranger, and now you don't have any friends. Oh correction, ignorance is your new best friend. It was nice to have met you Freddie." And with that I turned and left.
It seemed like I simply left my boyfriend and use-to-be best friend. But I did more than that. I was leaving behind the bad memories of someone who change in ways I didn't want to remember. I will alway love Freddie, just not the one that he has become. I only wish the old one can come back.
A/N: Okay how was that. My first angst fic. Wow I let out some emotions there. It feels good to write these kinds of fics. Let you blow off steam about things that frustrates you in life. I think I'll write these kinds again the next time I am frustrated. It sure helped this time.
Oh and I know it's not my usual kind of storyline. I would just say that the Freddie here is not the same as what I usually write so if I made him seem like a total jerk, I did my job right. So please review.
P.S Shout out to toughgirl13 who is going to the concert on March 9. You will LOVE the concert. To my other readers, she and myself have made an unofficial pact to write fics pertaining to Paramore's latest album, Brand New Eyes. Go check out her fics.
