Chapter One

The wind picked up as it churned the once still pond and made it's way through the trees. This caused the branches to sway and creak while they danced to the howling whistles along with the symphony of crickets chirping. Fireflies plagued the woods and created a twinkling light show that could be matched to the stars spritzed into the night sky. Summer nights were to be admired and even more so for the opportune moment the brunette with amethyst eyes had layed before him. He placed his hands on either side of the youth's shoulders and smiled. Beautiful, emerald eyes stared into his as if entranced, but soon closed. The man took this as a pleading gesture and leaned in to capture the smooth, persuasive, parted lips.

"All right Tsuzuki, stop right there!"

"Nnahh!" Tsuzuki jumped and nearly fell from his swivel chair. He clutched onto the desk surface and sat himself back up appropriately. He then turned around to see an annoyed and almost amused empath. He panicked and hugged the computer screen as if to hide what had already been seen. "Ah, Hisoka! How's your share of the paper work coming...Eh...What did you see?"

"I should ask you the same question. Doing research?"

"YES! Yes I am! HAHAHAHAHAHA-"

"So, who were you about to kiss? I mean, I'm assuming the "brunette with amethyst eyes" is you." Hisoka crossed his arms and smirked. 'As if I don't already know, moron.'

"Er..." Tsuzuki began to sweat. He knew he should have just waited until he was home to type up his story, but he was just too bored to sit there and pretend to do paperwork. Nothing against paperwork, but it sucks! Why bother with formalities when they could actually be surveying Kyuushuu. It was summer time after all which meant more supernatural activity and statistically more murders. "Hisoka, I just-"

"It was me, wasn't it?" Hisoka just finished writing his statement towards their prior investigation. He gathered his stack of papers and headed towards the filing cabinet. He glanced over at Tsuzuki who seemed to be diligently working. His eyes softened, but soon widened while he actually took a closer look as to what his partner was actually doing. 'So this is what Tsuzuki does on the computer.'

"Who's to say that it's you?

"Huh?"

"Well, you've found me out. Hisoka, I love fan-fiction! Yes, I know it may be hard to believe, but I yearn to let my fanta- I mean, imagination go virtual."

"This probably has something to do with Hakushaku...Tsuzuki, who else besides me has green eyes?"

"Ah...Well..."

"Don't think! Admit it!"

"Hijiri!"

"What?"

"Hijiri has green eyes..."

Hisoka's mouth dropped. What a slap in the face! At first he was disgusted and humiliated that his partner had such ridiculous fantasies involving him, but now he felt somewhat disappointed and hurt. Hijiri Minase, really? Sure, they both considered him as a friend, but never had Hisoka suspected Tsuzuki to be infatuated with the young violinist. What does he have that Hisoka doesn't?

"Yeah! What does he have that I don't?"

"Pardon?"

"I'm sexy and my fan-base considers me gruff, but cute! Annnnd there are more pairings with us than any other couple!"

"Hisoka, what are you talking about...?"

"Tsuzuki, I will always and forever be sexually frustrated! Think about it. I died young, with raging hormones! Hijiri? He'll age and lose whatever bit of physical attraction you have towards him."

Tsuzuki's eyes widened and a vibrant blush stained his face. "Whoa, Hisoka! You're getting the wrong idea!" Hisoka had finally lost it. Normally his moody partner would slap him, make fun of him, or just ignore him. He had to admit, he much liked Hisoka's jealous side. "I was just kid-" but before he could finish his explanation Hisoka pulled out an apple pie. From where? We don't know.

"I was planning on giving this to you due to it being our three year anniversary."

"Gyaaah! Oh Hisoka! Thank you~!" Tsuzuki cavorted forward and was airborne, tears of joy flowed from his eyes.

Hisoka scowled and pulled out a gun.

"Ack! H-Hisoka? What are you planning on doing with that?"

He cocked the gun at the pie and glared at Tsuzuki.

"NOOOOOOOOOOO!"

"Don't worry, I'll make it quick."

"Why are you overreacting?"

"Why are you so gay?"

Tsuzuki gasped. Never had he thought his partner would stoop to that sort of level. "Really Hisoka?"

"Yo momma!"

"..."

"What's going on you two?" Tatsumi peeked his head from Konoe's office. He had just finished pointing out to Chief Konoe that the current funds would no longer go towards Viagra.

"HISOKA'SSEXUALLYFRUSTRATEDANDHE'SGONNASHOOTTHEPIEANDHESAIDI'MGAYANDMYMOMMA!"

"...WHOA!" Tatsumi's glasses flew right off his face. Maybe he should just pretend he didn't hear anything and retreat to his own office.

"Tatsumi-san, Tsuzuki has been unfaithful. I need to take the day off."

"By all means, Kurosaki-san." Hisoka grabbed his jacket and signed off on his computer. He left through the main office.

"What? How come he gets to go? No faaaair!"

Tatsumi retrieved his glasses and aligned them perfectly on his face. "Tsuzuki? You know I love money, right?"

"Right..."

"Could you write me a story of passion between money and me? Oh, and make it a romantic comedy."

"Tatsumi, I should probably get back to work..." 'How did he know...?'

"Huh? Oh, there's that too. Look, you really need to settle things between you and Kurosaki-san. He's your partner after all and he's stuck by you for this long. You cannot risk losing him." Tatsumi smiled reassuringly and patted his former partner on the back. "Maybe I could help you with your story?"

"Tatsumi, how did you know I was typing up a story?"

"You know that plant over there in the corner?"

"...Yeah?"

"So, you want help or not?"

"Oh Tatsumi, that would be wonderful!"

"But..." His demeanor darkened. "It's going to cost you! BWAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"Waaah! You're so mean!"

TBC

*Hiya everyone! It's been awhile and yes, I'm still the same. That may be good or bad. Anyway, I do plan on making a slightly more serious story sometime, but being this silly is a lot of fun! I have some more random ideas, but I'm willing to take requests. I'm also hoping to get as many characters in the fic as possible. I'm trying to balance the OOC with the IC. Heh heh. It seems more OOC at this point, but we shall see! Anyway, please review! X3*

~Extra~

The amazing Seiichirou Tatsumi Part One

Tsuzuki: So, Tatsumi, what's it like being able to manipulate shadows?

Tatsumi: Eh, it puts bread on the table.

Watari: I bet he's really good with shadow puppets. Haha!

Tatsumi: Nonsense! I'd never abuse such a sacred ability on something so frivolous, plus it's a waste of energy.

Tsuzuki: Oh please Tatsumi! -Puts on his best sad puppy look that usually makes the secretary melt-

Tatsumi: Sorry Tsuzuki, that won't work this time because I'm wearing these!

Tsuzuki: Wha-?

Watari: That's right! He's wearing my latest invention! "I See No Evil" glasses! They block any negative emotion making the wearer seemingly unaware!

Tatsumi: Heh.

Tsuzuki: Gosh, I wonder how much all that research and manufacturing costs!

Tatsumi: O_O''''''

TBC