Disclaimer: Naruto isn't mine.

I think that Sakura's a little OOC in this, but I thought that it would make more sense for her to be smart.... R&R, be nice, its my first fic :)

Dear Naruto,

Thank you for accepting my rather, well, unsightly plea for help/revenge. You see, a certain Uchiha Sasuke has rejected my advances multiple times. I am quite fed up with his obstinance, however, and I hope that you would consider beating him up for me. But, lets face it, you cannot do so, taking this into account I have instead prepared a list of ten insults that I hope you could somehow integrate into your day with him. Thank you for your continued support for my wellbeing. Sincerely, Haruno Sakura.

1. Try to make a crack about his clothing, haven't you noticed that he seems to always be wearing the exact same clothes everyday? Hello, fashion anyone? Seriously, whats with that wierd necklace thing he wears, doesnt he know that jewelry just screams, GAY!!!!!!!

2. Doesn't it seem like he never eats a thing, and when he does, Sasuke eats voraciously, I'm always suprised when he restrains himself from eating the table along with the disgusting portions of meat he consumes. Bulimia much? I'm pretty sure that Sasuke is actually a girl in disguise, and forses herself to subsist on a thousand calories a day, weak!

3. Also, Sasuke has bird bones! Seriously, when we're doing kunai training and Kakashi-sensei guides Sasuke's wrist, god, his had could easily circle it twice!!!! Thats just odd, I'm a girl and even my bones aren't that thin.

4. He spends his WHOLE LIFE training, everything. Honestly, I haven't seen him anywhere outside of school. Its just wierd, maybe he goes home and reads naughty things on the internet. He must be a closet pervert. Really, there's no other explination!

5. Sasuke has that wierd revenge thing also, what normal teen only cares about killing their only remaining family relative, not me. I spend my time picking out outfits to best accentuate my stunning beauty (If I do say so myself), not that I'm normal, god forbid. I'm superior to that level of trash. I'm a godess.

6. He's always staring at things with this really dark look on his face. Honestly, he's going to blow a brain fuse someday. And he looks constipated when he thinks too hard...

7. Sasuke is so dense somethimes. He has such a coughBEAUTIFULcough girl chasing after him all the time, but he's too stupid to realize it. Maybe he's too busy thinking of the best way to kill Itachi. Back to that who revenge thing...creepy....

8. He looks like a girl. Honestly, pale todiefor skin, beautifulsparklingshining big anime eyes. What're features like that doing on a guy, someone up there must have been on crack when they thought him up.

9. Also, he spends all of his time with a certain annoyingloudmothedstupid guy, and leaves me all alone. Chivalry is dead. Along with my love for him. Moron.

10. In all honesty, they'res nothing at all wrong with the guy, which renders this letter completely useless. Shame...

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Naruto: Oi, Sakura-chan, what does ob-i-st-na-nt mean? Also, whats chilavery? Actually, I dont really understand anything this letter is saying, can you repeat it in English!?

Sakura: That is english, idiot...

Thanks for reading, please be kind and review onegai :)