So I know I said I was going to do Masquerade or Haunted next, but I had this random idea: What if Natara had shot herself, but survived? It's unlikely, since it all depends on the bullet entrance angle, gun type ect., but it's possible. People have survived being shot in the head, even at close range. So, this is placed at the time of just after the current now airing episode. Please review and tell me what you think so far?


The first thing I realized as I woke up was a throbbing pain in the right side of my head. The next thing was the stale taste of sleep, and someone moving near me. After a moment of wishing I could drop off into the darkness once more, I gave up and opened my eyes. The world was hazy, objects mixing into each other. But even through that I could still tell someone was across the room. Someone with short dark hair was moving something on the other side of the room, and after a moment bright sunlight flooded the room. I snapped my eyes shut, and slowly eased them open as they adjusted to the light.

"Natara?".

Something about that name was familiar, and I know it's my own. I turned my head slightly and see the short haired woman beside me. She was smiling slightly, peering down at me as if seeing me for the first time. I opened my mouth to ask who she is, and where I am, but my words were caught in my throat as if I had forgotten how to speak. I struggled to find words, but after a moment she shushed me.

"Just get some rest, okay? I'll explain everything again later".

Again? With that I knew she had explained everything to me before, and I should remember it. Remember her. But I didn't, and all I could wonder was what was wrong with me. I knew this woman should be familiar…but she wasn't. Her name…everything about her that I know was somewhere in me. Somewhere where it was just out of my reach. As she left I wanted to get up and go after her, chase her down and get answers, but when I tried to get up it was like every part of me weighed too much. I tried to roll myself over, but it was like my arms were not my own. My head throbbed, bringing waves of darkness into my vision. I reached up to my head and and was shocked to feel not my hair, but thick bandages. I franticly felt the side of my head, somehow startled by this. How did this get here? What happened to me? The woman returned again, looking down at me. She stared for a moment, and I couldn't imagine how pathetic I must have looked. My eyes wide with fear and confusion, only now realizing what clearly is an injury. She sat down in a chair next to me and sighed, not even bothering to hide the pity in her gaze.

"Do you know who you are?".

It took me a moment to answer, as if my name was on the tip of my tongue. But I could remember introducing myself countless times, and it was a complete guess when I said "Natara Williams" in a small voice. I was surprised at my sudden ability at speech, at how easily the words came out of my mouth.

She smiled slightly "Good, than this makes things much easier. Do you know why you are here?".

"No" I said quietly. There was a faint flicker of something in her face, but I wasn't sure what it was because it was gone in an instant.

"Do you know who I am?".

I didn't want to tell her no, since her face was slightly hopeful when she asked. After a moment that stretched on forever, I said in an even quieter voice. "No". There was another flicker of emotion on her face, and this time I could see what it was. Hurt, disappointment maybe, but it was gone before I could tell which. "I'm sorry" I said in a whisper.

"It's okay" she said, but I knew that it wasn't okay at all. "It's not your fault".

I wanted to ask her who's fault it was. Why I couldn't remember things I should, or what made me this way. But I didn't. If she wanted to, she would elaborate. I feared asking her to explain, because something about the way she spoke about this told me it was a sensitive subject. I kept my gaze on her, willing her to tell me what brought me here. Eventually she sighed, crossing her legs and sitting back as if expecting this is going to take a long time.

"You were shot" she said calmly. For some reason I didn't see this as an odd statement. As if the idea of a gun isn't frightening, but more so framiliar. "I'm not going to go into details again, but—".

"Again?".

She looked slightly annoyed, but said "I've explained this to you on a few occasions, but you were still recovering in the hospital during all of them and were probably to medicated to remember. Anyways, you were shot in the head, or more accurately, you shot yourself. But you were forced to, you didn't actually want to kill yourself". I stared at her intently as she talked. Every word she said, every gesture she made, it was all careful and precise. Rehearsed even. As if she had done this so many times, it was boring. "I'm not going to get into why, it's far to complicated. But we were able to rescue you, and repair some of the damage to your brain. The problem is, the part contributing to memory was damaged. They said your long-term memories will probably come back, but your short term memories may take longer to come back. If they all even come back. Anyways, we've been forced to hide for the time being. The man who did this to you, he's still out there. We're afraid he might come after you in your weakened state, so I took you away so he can't find you. So technically, we're in hiding. They're looking for him, and Mal's going to come back when they catch him".

'Mal'. I can tell by just thinking that name that it would roll naturally off my tounge, as if I had spoken it a thousand times. But the face that matches it was lost, and I wasn't sure if I could ever find it again.