Don't know what to do anymore
I've lost the only love worth fighting for
I'll drown in my tear storming sea
that would show you,
that would make you hurt like me
All the same,
I don't want mud-slinging games
it's just a shame
to let you walk away
I lost my senses when I'd found out Arram had left Carthak. I broke down when I finally let my tears flow and become an ocean. I'd lost it all and there wasn't anything left to do. Now, they tell me that he's coming back. Maybe if he sees my pain, he'll break as well. Maybe he'll come crawling back to me…
I'd even tried to follow him into Tortall. Of course, he hadn't noticed, but I tried. But he's probably forgotten me already. Giving up looked like a very nice decision. It's too bad that I'd let my one and only go…
is there a chance,
a fragment of light
at the end of the tunnel,
a reason to fight
is there a chance
you may change your mind
or are we ashes and wine?
don't know if our fate's already sealed
this day's a spinning circus on a wheel
I'm ill with the thought of your kiss
coffee-laced, intoxicating on her lips
shut it out, I've got no claim on you now
I'm not allowed to wear your freedom down
So here he is. He changed his name to Numair. I like his old name but I know how he never did. I'm working for the Emperor now and I'm sure he'd found another. But I hadn't. Maybe when he sees me, I'll have a chance. And that's when I see he has another girl. She can't be older than eighteen but she's beautiful. He was always weak when it came to beautiful women. I think of what he does with her and I feel dizzy. I let it go for I know that he's not on my rope anymore. And besides, the day's a big day. I've got food to prepare.
is there a chance,
a fragment of light
at the end of the tunnel,
a reason to fight
is there a chance
you may change your mind
or are we ashes and wine?
I'll tear myself away
if that what you need
there is nothing left to say
I load his plate up with exotic food. Only the best for the man I love. I mean the man I loved. I tell the public that I'd moved on but I don't know if I had really. He doesn't look so good, though, and I'm afraid that it wasn't the food that set him off. So I avoid him, in fear that our eyes will meet and his hold contempt. I can't take it. And besides, we've lost our spark. We've nothing in common. Nothing to talk about.
is there a chance,
a fragment of light
at the end of the tunnel,
a reason to fight
is there a chance
you may change your mind
or are we ashes and wine?
reduced to ashes and wine
or are we ashes...
I still hope that we may become something. That I have a reason to fight. I hope and pray that he may still be in love with me. That the dark tunnel has a bright ending. That light seeps through the veil of cloth covering his eyes that diverts them away from the woman who loves him. But our time had come and gone. The fire that had once burned so brightly hissed until all that was left was the gray rubble charred coal, and ashes. The wine was drunk, leaving only the ashes and that little bit at the bottom of the cup. The party was over.
(A/N) My very first Song Fic! Very sad, though. Ashes and Wine is sung by Alison Sudol from A Fine Frenzy. If you haven't heard the song, listen to it. Her singing is very soulful but it's really sad. REALLY SAD. Well, this is told from Varice of Kingford's point of view. Very sad. Please review. I'd love constructive criticism because this is my first Song-Fic. It's fine if you're too hard. I can take it.
Warmest regards,
Nell
