Harry Potter had been wandering around in the Forbidden Forest for ages. Why, oh why, had he believed that Draco had left a present for him in it? It seemed obvious to him now! He trudged on, his clothes being ripped and torn, on and on.

Suddenly, he saw a light, glowing through the eerie trees. Could that be the way out? He walked towards it, hope rising in his very empty stomach. He passed a sign and tried to read it but it was smothered in slime.

He could make out some kind of house that was made out of a large tree stump. It looked like Dobby's face. The light shined dimly through one of the windows. The house appeared to have been constructed out of mud.

Harry was suddenly conscious of someone watching him, although he couldn't see them. He approached the old, thick door. He glanced around, then knocked. Nothing happened. He knocked again. Still nothing.

He suddenly heard the approach of heavy feet and a voice spoke in his ear, "what are you doing in ma swamp?" The voice had a Scottish accent. Harry slowly turned around and saw a great big, green, hideous ogre. Harry whipped out his wand but Shrek grabbed it and through it over his shoulder. "You won't be needing that," he said.

"Who – who are you?" Harry stammered.

"None of your business!" Shrek said.

"Hey, SHREK!" someone yelled. Shrek rolled his eyes. Donkey appeared in the clearing. "Who's this Shrek?"

"I don't know, I was just about to find out," Shrek replied, then turned to Harry. "Who are you? What are you doing here?"

"My name is Harry Potter. I'm a wizard at Hogwarts."

Shrek rolled his eyes again. "Yeah, and my name is Rapunzel and I live on the Death Star," he said sarcastically.

"No, seriously, do you not know of Hogwarts? It's that massive castle you live near. In fact, I think I can just about see it."

"Never heard of it. Now, hold still so I can throw you outta ma swamp."

Harry panicked, and looked at Donkey for help. "Hey, you, donkey. Help me," he pleaded. Donkey looked shocked. "How'd he know my name Shrek? How'd he know it? He must be able to read minds or somethin'. You're not getting my secrets. You can't have 'em," he yelled until Shrek held his muzzle shut. "Donkey, shut up," he said. Donkey's muffled speech continued under Shrek's huge hands but it was unintelligible.

Harry tried a desperate bid. "Look, Shrek is it? There are soldiers who are coming right now and they will kill you and destroy your swamp. But Hogwarts is safe. Help me get there and we can be safe." Harry looked at Donkey. "And you can bring him too."

"Do we have to?" muttered Shrek. It was obvious he didn't believe a word of this.

Suddenly, a gunshot echoed around the clearing. All three turned in the direction and saw a group of soldiers heading towards them, gleaming rifles pointed right at them. "Huh, what do you know? There are soldiers coming after us," Harry said. He used the distraction to grab his wand from the floor, and sent a spell into the group of soldiers who scattered.

Donkey screamed and ran around in circles. Shrek picked up a nearby log and lobbed it at the nearest soldier. It hit him and he fell, unconscious. Harry stunned another soldier, and Shrek kept lobbing things at them.

But they were outnumbered. "We have to get to Hogwarts!" Harry yelled over the gunfire. Shrek nodded and whistled his fingers, then ran out of things to throw. So, he threw Donkey instead, who wailed through the air before colliding with a soldier and sprinting back, as fast as his little legs could carry him.

But there were just too many soldiers. They closed in. But Harry noticed a large dark shape shoot over the Forbidden Forest. Flame poured out of it and engulfed the forest. The soldiers had been cut off from the clearing.

A dragon, with long eyelashes, swooped down into the clearing and picked up the three, throwing them onto her back. "Just in time, baby!" praised Donkey.

Shrek looked down to see his house in flames. He shook his head. He also noticed a castle not far away. "How have I never noticed that before?" he questioned himself. "To Hogwarts!" he yelled to Dragon.

They soared rapidly through the cool night air. It wasn't long before they landed in the grounds of Hogwarts.

Professor Snape, who happened to be looking out of a window at that moment, noticed this event. He sighed, and accepted the fact that Harry Potter had just climbed off a large dragon, with long eyelashes, with an ogre and a donkey. "You can never resist a big entrance, can you Potter?" he muttered darkly.