A/N Ok guys! What's up? I am so sorry I haven't been posting much. I have had to study for exams and such.. So if you have read my last two chapters about Draco I'm deleting them when I post this, and saving them for another time. I am also thinking about changing the name of this story from "my side" to something else cause before it was going to be short stories of Draco's life, but now I am going to make it one big story. So I feel like it deserves a better name. I also want to apologize for any grammatical mistakes, I haven't done a beta just cause I have no idea how that works. Also last but not least will you review this story? I don't get reviews and honestly it makes me feel like I should just stop writing.. Am I actually any good? Or should I just stop... Thank you for reading my work it means allot! I love you all!

chapter one

I got my letter the day of my eleventh birth day. My mother was overjoyed she was so proud of me. My father on the other hand just put his cold heavy hand on my shoulder, I flinched to his touch, he rarely touched me "I expect nothing but perfection" his dark eyes not even meeting mine. I nodded and he walked away going back into his study. My mother and I started making a list of the extra things I would need (besides the list I was given) things like invisibility ink and the best broomstick

"I just can't believe you were accepted into Hogworts" she would say as she folded my clothes " actually,I can believe it, my son accepted into the best wizard school,we alway expected great things from you" she gently put her hand soft and warm on my knee " you father is proud you know.. "

"Mother..." I interjected my father had never been proud of me. I could never meet his expectations no matter how hard I tried I looked down in embarrassment. I was never good enough

My mother grabbed my hands " look Draco.. " she whispered " I know you father can be.. A little strict.."

I pulled my hands away from her "Strict? You call him strict! He loathes me mother I am a disappointment to the Malfoy family and you know it!"

"Now that is not true!" She shook her finger at me

I practically screamed "Oh please mother my powers didn't even show till I was ten! Everyone was afraid I was a squib! The son of the great Lucius Malfoy a near squib!"

She griped my shoulders and shook me "you listen hear Draco! You are not a squib! Yes .." She started to calm down to her normal composed self. Gently removing her hands from me "your powers .. Came later then we expected, but that doesn't mean you aren't just as great of a wizard as you father" she smiled at me trying to make me feel better

I looked away afraid I would cry, "men don't cry" my father told me on my sixth birthday. That year was the year my lashings started. "A lash for every year you have disappointed me" he told me that year I received six lashes, and another lash added every year."It's your fault" he would,tell me has he lashed me with his belt. My mother never knew of this yearly attraction, she never understood why I hated my birthday. She never knew that once she lay asleep that night my father would come into my room and whip me. Leaving me with a back of scars. He would hide all this well my putting a silenco charm on my room so she wouldn't hear my cries,and latter my stiffened moans for I had realized if I cried out he would only whip harder. He also used a potion that would stop the bleeding but leave the pain and scars. Once he was finished he would always say "This can all,stop if you were just better" then he would,turn around a briskly walk out leaving me in extreme agony, wondering how can impossibly be better? Every year I would try harder to be the son he always wanted, and every year I would fail.

I wiped my checks to make sure I wasn't crying. Then looked back at her "Mother I am tired and tomorrow we got shopping would you mind if I retire early tonight?

She smiled a sad knowing smile she leaned in her hands on my knees and kissed my forehead "of course" she stood up and began to walk out of my room. Halfway out the door she turned around turned down my lantern till it was a slight glow. She whispered " I love you" and closed the door.

he was standing above me shaking his head as he slowly fastened his belt. His wicked eyes meeting mine,forcing me to look away. I was on the ground hands in front of me. The pain was unbearable, my eyes splotchy all I could see were dark spots. The only thing on my mind was don't pass out, don't lose conscious wait till he leaves, come on Draco hold on. Then my father spoke "This can all stop if you were just better" then walked out. Then I finally collapsed and let my mind slip away.

I sat up my heart pounding, sweat sliding down my face. I was terrified. These dreamed had been accruing more recently. Each becoming more and more realistic. Sometimes when I woke up I could still feel the stinging in my back. My breaths were fast and hollow. I couldn't catch a breath. Tears slipped down my cheek, I couldn't breath the air wouldn't fill my lungs. I started to black out. All I could think was men don't cry.

when I woke up the next morning the sun was streaming through my blinds. I mumbled a curse as I sat up, it had to be at least 7:00 am. I rubbed my hands over my eyes it was way to early for this. I hadn't gotten a good nights sleep in weeks. Today was the day. I was going to to Diagon Ally to get my school supplies, I would finally become the wizard my father always wanted. I quickly slipped out of my night clothes, into my suite. Black trousers a white button down shirt and a matching coat. Father always said to be the best you had to look you best. I combed back my white blonde hair. Smoothing it back with gel. I stared back at my self, and sighed. My light blue eyes looked dark and stormy with the dark circles that accomplices them. My face several shades paler than my normal pale. I prepared my self for what father would say about my appearance. Probably something along the lines of "A Malfoy must keep himself neat, you Draco do not represent the Malfoy family we'll." I quickly walked downstairs into the kitchen. Standing on a stool was our house elf.

"Morning Dobby" I mumbled as I crossed the room to fetch my awaiting orange juice.

Dobby looked up from the pots he was magically stirring, spices flying around the kitchen, each seemingly knowing were they needed to go.

"Morning master Draco" he spoke timidly he knew I had been irritable recently. "If I may ask" he shook a little as he spoke fearing I would react like my father dose. "How did you sleep?" He could tell I wasn't sleeping well,that's one of the gifts of a house elf always being able to tell what there masters needs are.

I sighed rubbing my face with my hands "same as always" he knew what I meant. When I was younger my dreams used to be worse. I would wake up screaming and crying. Dobby would always appear with a plate of cookies and pumpkin juice to help calm me down. We could relate to each other. We both firsthand had experienced my fathers abuse. We now had this silent agreement to treat each other fairly, like equals. He was there during the night as long as I didn't partake in his daily abuse. It worked out in favor for both of us.

He brought me a plate if scrambled eggs two slices of bacon and apiece of toast. He placed it in front if me gently folding my napkin into my lap. He snapped his fingers, and a cup of pumpkin juice appeared. "I hope you enjoy your breakfast" he bowed and walked away. I shook my head I had asked him not to bow to me, but he would just not listen. The breakfast was as good as always, Dobby out did himself once agin. My mother came into the room carrying a stack of papers.

"Morning Draco" she crossed the room and kissed the top of my head. Sliding into the chair across of me. She snapped her fingers and her papers silently floated off the table, were she had placed them,to I front of her. She pulled out her quill and started signing the papers. I noticed they had the Hogworts seal on them. She must be signing my acceptance forms. With out looking away from her work she began eating the food Dobby had placed I front other. I between bites she asked "are you ready to leave after breakfast? We will want to get a head start on getting your school supplies." I nodded my head in agreement. My father walked into the kitchen. The mood automatically changed. Dobby who had been slightly humming to himself, quickly found a reason to leave the kitchen mumbling something about the sheets needed changing.

My father nodded to us "Narcissa, Draco" then pulled out the Daily Prophet. My mother and I ate in silence for most of the breakfast, my father sipping his coffee.

My mother looked up from the dwindling stack of papers. "Lucius?"

My father without looking up hummed "hmm"

She took a deep breath "will you be joining Draco, and I to diagon ally? "

He looked up and smiled his wicked evil smile " I would love to go." He thought of something, and if I didn't know better I would say he was excited. " in fact Narcissa. How about you go shopping for you today, maybe get you nails done. This will be a father son bonding day" he smiled. I prayed she would refuse, but my mother after much coaxing agreed. After breakfast my father went to his study to grab the floo powder.

My mother whispered in my ear " I'm not sure what you father is planning but promise me stay safe" I nodded my head wrapping my arms around her. She whispered into my ear " I love you" and kissed my cheek. My father grabbed my shoulder and pushed me into the chimney, handing me a hand full of floo powder.

I screamed "Diagon ally!" And through the powder down. I was indulged in a green smoke my insides were threatening to become outsides as I flew through the air. I soon saw a whit light and turned to face it. I couldn't tell if I was the one moving or if everything was moving around me. I jumped through the white light. When I landed I stumbled a few feet and fought my balance. Looking around recognized a few stores like The Leaky Cauldron and Ollivanders Wand Shop. My father walked smoothly out of the fire place coming up beside me.

He glanced up, and down the street."Let's get your books and robes first and then we can go the leaky cauldron for lunch, and the. Back out to get your wand and your owl." I nodded my head and sighed maybe this day won't be as bad as I thought. We headed to flourish and blots book store. I walked in and was hit by a wall of aroma. The store smelled of mildew and stale cereal. We were walking through the rows of books when father grunted.

I looked up "what's wrong father?" I asked

He titled his head to the end of the row of books." Do you see that girl?" I flowed his gaze, then I saw her. A small girl, about my age in a pair of jeans and a red sweater. Her hair curled and frizzed in ways I didn't even know was possible. She must have been the only person who needed a shopping cart to Carry her books, the cart was actually beginning to overflow." that.. My son is a mudblood" I looked up,at him his face was covered in disgust.

"How can you tell?" I asked staring up at him

"first" he said " look at what she is wearing, no respectable wizard would dress in muggle clothes" I stared at her, he was right her clothes were a bit.. Odd, but I didn't see anything wrong with them. "second, she is here alone. Which means one of either two things, her parents are dead, or they were to afraid of our world to join there daughter." I couldn't tear my eyes for her, she looked from her book. Our eyes met, I gasped, she was beautiful. Her skin fair and smooth, here eyes were such a dark brown I almost couldn't see her pupils. she stared at me, I knew she was trying to see if I could be a friend. My father shoved me away from her gaze. I craned my neck trying to get another look at her. He whispered yelled at me "promise me Draco you will never befriend a mudblood while you are at school. They are evil disgusting creatures meant to die. There is no way I could forgive you if you ever became friends with one of those things."

I nodded my head furiously "Of corse father I would never befriend such an awful creature"

He smiled "good, now let's get your books."

So what did y'all think? Should I keep going? I have major plans for this if y'all like it! Thanks so much for taking the time to read this Love y'all lots!