Rating: K+

Spoilers: None that are coming to mind... Set some where nebulously around Season 2.

Disclaimer: I do not in any way, shape, or form own the characters, concepts, or anything else related to Stargate: Atlantis that may be copyrighted or otherwise previously owned. Those belong to Gekko and MGM and all those other people who actually make money from it.

A/N: This is just a bit fluff that I found hiding on my hard drive from a number of years ago that I decided to post as a short break from some of the other, more character whump oriented stories I have in the works at the moment. There are a couple more 'chapters' to this that I will post as I finish editing, RL permitting.


Chapter 1

When Boredom Strikes

"Oh, come on, Doc. I'm begging here. And you know how I hate begging."

"No, Colonel, you cannot have your laptop. Or your guitar, or any manner of firearm, night-vision goggles, flash bangs, or anything of that sort either," The exasperated doctor paused, mentally checking that he had covered everything, "and no having Rodney smuggle in any of that rotgut Radek makes in his lab either."

"Damn. I'm not going to win this, am I?" the Colonel pouted, already knowing the answer.

"No."

"Damn. Fine, one last thing."

At this, warning bells sounded in the physician's mind. "Okay lad, one last shot, and then you get some sleep," at the Colonel's glare, the doctor added, "I will sedate you into next week, lad."

"You wouldn't."

"Do you really want to test that?"

"No," the Colonel decided, knowing that was one bet he would almost certainly lose. "Since you won't let me have any of my high tech toys, I must resort to low tech means with which to amuse myself, without further risking my sanity or yours."

"Go on…"

"I mention saving sanity as the probable reason for disallowing me access to my guitar. Having established this, there is one more option that comes to mind."

"What might that be?" The doctor found that he was curious in spite of himself.

"Juggling."

"What?"

"Juggling- low tech, unobtrusive, keeps me occupied, at least temporarily, saving my sanity, and my being occupied keeps me from annoying you, thereby preserving your sanity as well."

"Somehow, I don't see this turning out well, but we'll try it."

"Stop worrying, it'll be fine."


On the whole, this conversation was fairly typical for just about any time that Lieutenant Colonel John Sheppard, Senior Military Officer, Atlantis, found himself as a long term guest in the city's infirmary. On this particular occasion, John had been grounded for a week and a half, a situation that was infamously taxing on the sanity of Colonel Sheppard and one Doctor Carson Beckett, Chief Medical Officer, Atlantis.

With the question of entertainment temporarily resolved, John passed a peaceful about half an hour trying to remember various juggling tricks that he had learned as a kid, much to the amusement of the various nurses and lab techs present.

Unfortunately for the rare peace and quiet that had descended on the infirmary, John was in the middle of relearning a particularly tough trick when Doctor Rodney McKay made his entrance.

"Hello, Colonel."

"Hey McKay, what's up?"

"Oh, just the usual, saving us all in the nick of time with my incredible genius."

"Same old same old then huh?" John quipped.

"Very funny Colonel," The scientist finally seemed to notice that the pilot was only about half paying attention to him, something that while not unusual, was very annoying, "What do you think you're doing Sheppard? When Beckett finds out you have those," indicating the juggling balls, "your ass is grass. And don't expect me to save you, either. I'm still on the overeducated sheepherder's shit list from your last stay here."

"I don't think you smuggling my guitar to me has as much to do with it as the constant sheep jokes, McKay."

McKay simply glared at the soldier, unhappily having to concede at least the possibility that he was right.

John smiled at this before adding, "Besides, he already knows."

"He what?" Rodney asked, not believing what he was hearing. "Is this some kind of joke? He never agrees to things like that. Ever."

"He did this time," John let the statement hang in the air, knowing that McKay could only go so long before he would ask how John had accomplished that particular feat.

Not twenty seconds later, the inevitable question came. "Alright, spill. How did you do it? What did you promise him? Or do I really want to know?"

John made a face at the implications of that last question, trying to decide whether to bait McKay into sticking his foot in his mouth even further. Deciding to stick to the topic at hand, John said, "Of course you want to know. You hate not knowing things. And you don't know this. Therefore, you do want to know, whether you think you do or not."

McKay blinked at the astoundingly circular logic of that statement, before conceding the main point. "Okay, you got me; I do want to know, if only so I can maintain my amazing record for knowing everything there is to know about everything."

John grinned and said nothing to this. After about a minute, McKay started to get worried. Trying not to sound nervous about the Colonel's lack of response to a comment that would normally have gotten a smart ass remark, McKay continued. "Alright, so what is your secret? How did you manage to strike a deal with the questionably licensed Highlander?"

John said nothing, simply returned to his juggling, milking his advantage over the snarky scientist for all it was worth. Finally, he thought that he had wound McKay up enough and said, "I'm not going to tell you."

"What?! You're not going to tell me?! Why?!" The outraged scientist gaped at this response.

John stopped juggling and held up his hands in a gesture that was half placation, half surrender. "If you really want to know that badly, there is one thing…" he drawled.

"What? What is it?" Rodney asked, trying not to sound too eager.

Choking back laughter at that answer, John said, "Tell you what McKay, if you can successfully steal all three balls from me while I continue juggling, I will tell you how I managed to come by them in the first place. Deal?"

Rodney thought about it for a minute, before replying cautiously, "What's the catch?"

John affected a hurt look. "Why Rodney, it hurts me that you would think there would be a catch. It's a simple wager really. Unless of course you're afraid you can't do it…"

"Not going to work this time Sheppard. Last time I agreed to one of your 'simple wagers' without checking what the rules were, I was forced to make multiple laps around Atlantis. Naked."

John barely kept himself from collapsing with helpless laughter at the reminder. Finally regaining control, John said, "Fine. The rules are as follows: I will continue juggling using whatever technique appeals to me at the time. Your mission, if you choose to accept it, is to try and steal all three balls and keep them away from me. There are multiple ways you can accomplish that last part. You can, of course, simply try to hold on to any balls that you have managed to steal while attempting to grab the rest, or you can try and keep the balls that you have stolen away from me by putting them on top of a cabinet or something to try and keep them safe. The "catch", as you call it, is this, I can, at any time, attempt to reclaim any balls that you have taken from me. Other then those rules, this is really an anything goes game. Same stipulations as always."

"Nothing questionably out of normal bounds and absolutely nothing that may alert Beckett to our little game?" Rodney clarified.

"Right. Ready?" John asked, looking at the scientist.

"Ready."

And so the game began, John using various tricks that he had been using earlier that day to try and keep the balls out of McKay's reach, while Rodney attempted to grab the balls out of the air. About half an hour later, Rodney had two balls and was trying to grab the last one, when suddenly John jumped out of bed and went over to a convenient chair next to the cabinet where McKay had been stowing the captured balls.

"Hey! No fair!" Rodney protested.

"Is so. I told you that I reserved the right to use any means available to reclaim captured balls. This is perfectly within the rules," John stated, grabbing both of the captured balls while continuing to toss the remaining one.

Rodney grumbled at this, but did remember Sheppard mentioning something to that effect in the rules.

Chuckling at the grumbling scientist, John resumed properly juggling all three balls. The game returned to its previous rhythm, until finally Rodney managed to snag all three of the balls from the Colonel.

"Ha! I have them all! Now you have to tell me what you did!" Rodney crowed triumphantly.

"Yeah, yeah, I know. I made up the rules, remember?"

"Stop stalling, Sheppard!" Rodney said impatiently.

"Nice alliteration McKay. Now say "Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers," John teased.

"Har har John. Just tell me what the hell you did so we can stop this childishness," Rodney snapped.

"What fun would that be?" John quipped back.

"Sheppard, I'm warning you."

"Oh, what are you going to do McKay? Tell Beckett? I told you, he already knows."

"Just tell me already."

"Oh, fine. Spoilsport…" John trailed off as Beckett entered.

The doctor took one look at John, Rodney, and the juggling balls and decided he wasn't going to ask as he really didn't think he wanted to know.

"What's that look for Doc? I didn't do anything." John said, grinning.

"Sure you didn't, lad. And those juggling balls got up on top of my cabinet all by themselves, did they?" A slightly exasperated Carson asked.

"Of course not. Rodney put them there," John stated.

Beckett sighed and wondered for the millionth time why he had taken this job. "I don't know what Rodney would be putting juggling balls on top of my cabinets for, and I really don't want to," Beckett stated, interrupting Rodney's attempt to blame the whole thing on John.

John finally calmed down and looked serious. Well, as serious as John ever looked, in any event. "It really is my fault this time. I refused to tell him why I was allowed to have the juggling balls unless he could take them from me. Putting them on the cabinet was just a way to keep them out of my reach so I couldn't get them back," John confessed.

"Okay, so have you finished your game and told Rodney why you have the balls?" Carson asked.

"No, I was just getting to that when you came in," John explained.

"Continue then, lad."

John took a deep breath, knowing Rodney was going to kill him over how easy it had all been. "Well, it worked like this. After running over all the things that I couldn't have, I was stretching for ideas. I finally thought to ask for my juggling balls. I was allowed to have them based on the promise that juggling would keep me quiet and out of the good doctor's hair, at least for a while. Promising to save what little is left of both our sanity in the process."

Confession finished, John sat back and looked at the slack jawed McKay. Finally, Rodney looked over at Carson. "Is that really all he had to do?" the scientist asked incredulously.

"Aye. That was all."

Rodney glared at Sheppard. "You will pay for this, Sheppard."

John just smiled, knowing that Rodney was simply upset over how easily John had gotten his way once again. "I'm sure I will, McKay, I'm sure I will."