Disclaimer: The rights to 'Xena: Warrior Princess' do not belong to me. I make absolutely no money with this and no copyright infringement is intended.
Author's Note: The title means 'Solan knows'.
Thanks to my great beta Kimmy, who always manages to inspire and help me, to those of you who have already reviewed and those of you who will and of course to Lucy Lawless, Renee O'Connor and all the others who made the Xena series so great.
This is a rewrite of the final scene in Orphan of War (first episode of second season).
Prologue
Solan was sitting by the lake, one hand resting on his father's sword, which was planted in the soil by his feet, his bright eyes staring intently into the water. He was thinking about his father and all the things that had happened recently, since Xena and Gabrielle had arrived. Deep in thought as he was, he didn't really pay attention to the person he heard coming up behind him; he knew he had nothing to fear, not from her.
"Solan." She said gently, drawing his thoughts away from the murky depths of the lake. He turned around to see her standing a few feet away. "I'd like to talk to you."
He sighed, his gaze darting away from her. His eyes sought a fleeting council from both the water and the hilt of his sword, but a moment later he turned to her again, a vulnerable and slightly apologetic expression on his face.
"I know you didn't kill my father, Xena. You're not the person you were." He paused for a moment. "It's okay." Xena took the few steps that closed the distance between them and sat down next to him, casting a quick glance out to the lake. She looked sad and nervous and Solan didn't like it. "Are you and Gabrielle leaving?" He asked, trying for a cheerful tone. "I mean, you could stay for a while. We could have a lot of fun!" He didn't want her to leave so soon. Not when they had only just become friends.
"Solan." She looked away from him, unable to stand his expression of open-eyed pleading; the warring thoughts were almost visible on her face. She took a deep breath before speaking further and her face twisted into a grimace in an effort to keep the reign on her emotions. "Sometimes people do things that they regret. Things that at the time seemed like the right thing to do." She paused again, struggling with the words. Solan quickly jumped in.
"Like, when I tried to hurt you?" He ventured. Xena seemed somewhat startled by his words and her face relaxed in an expression of surprise for a second or two.
"Oh. A little." She said, her attention drawn to Solan instead of the things she had come to tell him. "But don't feel bad." She hastened to add when he winced in self-reproach. "Often we don't know if the things we do are right or wrong un… until much later." Her internal struggle now seemed somewhat calmed and her voice was steadier as she continued, more certain. "Something I did a long time ago was wrong." She stopped again, obviously reliving a memory. Remembering how his last interference had worked out, Solan remained quiet, giving her the time to get her thoughts together. Xena shrugged the memory off and took another big gulp of air before finishing her words. "I was wrong about..." A slight hesitation caused a momentary falter. "-about giving away my child." Her voice broke on the last world, but she looked relieved to have finally said it, though Solan still didn't really understand where she was going with this or why it would take her so much effort to say it.
"I didn't know you had a child!" He said upbeat, still trying to get her mood up. "Was it a boy or a girl?"
"It was a beautiful baby boy." She answered, almost in a whisper, a soft smile playing on her lips, a smile that completely transformed her face. He could see the pride for her child in the tears that glazed her eyes and he had to look away, unable to stand that loving gaze knowing he would never see his own mother look at him like that. He had to swallow a lump in his throat before he was able to look back at her again. She was now staring out over the water.
"Why did you give him away?" He said in a brave attempt to get their conversation going again.
"Because I didn't want him to become a target for all my enemies." She replied, no longer slightly hesitant, but rather as if she'd repeated these words a hundred times, to herself. "I didn't want him to become a warrior. I didn't want him to become like me." The ferocity in her voice faded away, her tone turning softer. "I wanted him to be more like his father."
"And is he?" Solan asked.
Xena smiled lovingly. "Yes he is." She turned to look him directly in the eye. "He's brave, bright, and kind. Just like his father." Her eyebrows moved vehemently. "Just like Borias."
It took a moment before Solan fathomed what she was saying and his eyes widened. "But then..." He stammered. "I…?"
"Yes. I'm your mother, Solan." Solan was lost for words, frantically trying to assimilate this new piece of information that threw his whole world upside-down. He looked around, unconsciously searching for something to brace himself against, but his mind was too overwhelmed to see anything of his surroundings. He blindly reached for his father's sword in front of him, clutching the hilt like a lifeline. Realizing what he was holding, his gaze flew to the weapon in his hands. It was as if he was he was seeing it for the first time. Then his attention shifted back to Xena, who had been calmly watching him.
"But then... but then my father stood up against you!" He exclaimed. "Against my mother!"
Xena's gaze was soft. "Yes he did. That was very important to him. So important that he did what he did." She replied, the tone of her voice matching the softness in her eyes.
A silence hung in the air as Xena patiently let her son mull this over in his mind.
"But... if I'm your son, then how did I end up with my uncle?" Solan suddenly questioned. Xena hesitated, but held his gaze.
"On the night you were born-" She started. "Borias went up against my entire army. It seemed like another battle to stop us from getting the Ixion stone, but in reality, he was coming for me – and you. Only he never made it. Dagnine killed him before I even knew he was there. He was lying right in front of my tent when I left with you. When I saw your father's body, I couldn't believe he'd come back for me, that he was in love with me. It wasn't until then that I realized the hate I had for myself; the love someone could feel for a child. I knew I had to keep you safe, and also that you would never really be safe if you stayed with me. You'd forever be a target for those who hated me. My only choice was to give you to Kaleipus. I knew with him you'd grow up safe, and happy. You'd grow up like Borias would have wanted." Xena's voice shook terribly on the last words.
Both Xena and Solan were now gazing out over the waters of the lake, lost in their thoughts.
"Did you love me?" Solan finally asked, and the uncertainty in his voice broke Xena's heart. Instinctively she pulled him close, for the first time really hugging her son.
"Of course I loved you! I loved you more than anything." The tears in her voice were easy to hear. Solan relaxed in the embrace of his mother. His mother. It still felt surreal to him. Then she pulled away, a little unsure of how to act. "Gabrielle and I have got to be going now." She said after a moment's unease and got up to leave. But she waited for a few more seconds, staring in the lake, unable to simply walk away. Solan had gotten up too and was staring with her, his stance a mirror image of that of his mother. Then, in a flash of insight, he suddenly drew his father's sword out of the ground and tossed it into the very lake they had both been gazing at.
"I'm not a warrior." He said and, after a moment of thought, "I don't think I want to be."
"I am very proud of you." Her voice was clear now, not heavy with tears like before, but it was obvious that she liked the gesture. He didn't even know why he had felt the urge to do that, but the minute he did, he realized it was the only right thing to do. Not to please Xena, but because it was what was in his heart. He didn't want to become a warrior. When he thought about it, he realized that he had wanted to be a warrior because of his father, so he could be proud of him, but after Xena's words, he realized that his father would be equally proud if he didn't become a warrior, maybe even more so. Not to mention his mother. And now that he knew that, he didn't have to become a warrior. Now he could do what he wanted, without feeling like he betrayed either of his parents. He finally had closure. He had finally put his father's dead behind him and was ready to built his own life. Suddenly he felt a hand softly touch his cheek; he looked up into Xena's eyes. After that one caress, she turned around and left. He watched as she vanished between the trees and then sat back down, returning to the position he'd been in when Xena had come to find him, gazing again into the lake, looking for all the world as if the last few moments had never happened. But his sword was now dwelling somewhere else, and so were his thoughts. His thoughts were with his mother.
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PROMO
ON THE NEXT XENA: WARRIOR PRINCESS
(Xena looks up alarmed)
(Gabrielle hits a guard with her staff and knocks him into a soldier that's fighting Xena)
A SMALL TOWN
(Xena and Gabrielle walk past a few houses towards the inn of a small village)
(Gabrielle speaks to a small group of farmers)
HAS BEEN CUT OFF FROM THE BIG WORLD
(a gang of soldiers block Xena and Gabrielle's path)
Man: No-one's come here in ten years!
NOW XENA MUST FIND OUT WHY
Xena: What in that village is so valuable you'd go to all this trouble?
Warlord: Do you know what it's like to have a child, Xena?
WHILE KEEPING A FAMILIAR FACE
Solan: Xena!
(Xena looks up alarmed)
Xena: Solan!
OUT OF TROUBLE
Boy: They're taking the prisoners down to the mines.
Xena: Stay back!
(Xena pushes Solan behind her and draws her sword)
BATTLE ON, XENA
