Remus John Lupin, 1971
Disclaimer: JK approves of the FF community (because she's the best) but she's almost as fiercely protective of the IP as Molly Weasley is of her children (including Harry, of course) so I don't think I would be able to get away with anything illegal even if I wanted to.
A/N:
Heyo! I'm so excited that you're here reading this.
This story does not include Peter Pettigrew. PP was attracted to the most powerful/ popular people around. In my mind, the marauders didn't elevate to that level until their 2nd year when it became clear that JP was a talented Quidditch player. So, no Pettigrew!
Remember, reviews are good for the soul!
From the Hogwarts Lunar Chart:
The Full Moon for September will fall on Saturday the 4th
Chapter 1
It was the first Saturday for the Gryffindor first years: their first opportunity to explore the grounds, find secret passageways, admire the enchanted sky, or even tackle their homework. But 11-year-old Remus Lupin knew it was going to be a miserable day. Although he loved his comfortable four-poster-bed, he would have slept on the floor for the next seven years if it meant could feel well enough to leave it right now.
Professor Dumbledore had said something about special arrangements for tonight but he hadn't said what exactly those arrangements would be.
What if Professor Dumbledore had forgotten to make them? I need to find him. I'm not safe. I won't be safe after nightfall. I won't get everyone sick. I can't.
Remus made to get up but he stopped himself when waves of nausea fell over him. He knew he wouldn't vomit; He was very familiar with nausea.
I don't even know where Professor Dumbledore's office is. I suppose he could be at breakfast - or was it lunchtime now?
Remus forced himself out of bed. As he made for his trunk to put clean clothes on, he could feel how shaky his legs were.
I can't do it, he thought. I don't want them all to see me. Professor Dumbledore probably had made the arrangements.
Tears streamed down his face.
RJL * JP * SB
Out in the grounds, James Potter and Sirius Black were enjoying their very first Hogwarts Saturday. They had spent a solid twenty minutes working on their secret handshake. It was going to be manly and have color-coordinated sparks. It was Saturday so homework could wait. Now, they just really wanted to go flying but to their dismay, they discovered that first years weren't allowed to ride broomsticks until after their first flying lesson.
"This is bogus" muttered James, "I've been flying since I was born."
"I think they just don't want the mudblood kids to feel bad", said Sirius, trying to make conversation.
"You just said the "m" word!?" James was shocked. "You can't say that!"
"Mudblood" called Sirius. "Mudblood, mudblood, mudblood".
"You better watch yourself". Said a stocky girl with straight brown hair and freckles who had just appeared behind them. She sounded serious. Her name was Helena Strong and she was the Gryffindor prefect.
"If I hear that kind of language again, I will dock paints but that's nothing compared to what the other Gryffindors will do to you" and she stocked off.
Sirius's face grew suddenly hot.
"I didn't realize that word would be such a big deal. I only meant that they're only thinking about the muggle-born kids; It's not fair for the rest of us," Sirius said to his new friend.
James changed the subject.
"Sirius, want to play gobstones? I have a set back at the castle."
In the dormitory, James thought he heard sobbing. Upon seeing a boy-sized blanket- mound on Remus' bed, he asked it:
"What's wrong with you?" Asked James
Remus didn't answer.
James missed his parents a lot He supposed Remus was feeling the same way. He moved closer to Remus' bed.
"Dude, seriously, are you okay? It's a Saturday. Don't you want get out? I've heard the lake has a giant squid and that the gamekeeper might be an actual giant. I have gobstones too and exploding snap and Wizards' chess". "Oh god," he thought; I'm trying too hard.
Remus felt the waves nausea ebbing and flowing. But he didn't remember the last time someone his own age had wanted to be around him and no one had ever listed half-a-dozen possible ways of spending a day- each of which sounded quite exciting.
Remus forced himself out - bad move.
James paled.
"You do not look good. You should get up to the hospital wing".
"I'm fine", Remus lied.
"Hippogriffshit."
"Please, I just want to be left alone."
Sirius barged into the dormitory.
"What's taking so long? You could've just told me if you had to take a dump."
"Sirius, not now. Check out Remus. I think he needs the Hospital Wing but is too thick-headed to ask for help".
"Like you're one to be calling people 'thick-headed'".
"Look, I don't know what hole you came from, but where I come from, we take care of our friends".
No way! Had he heard right? Despite the pain, Remus couldn't help feel just a little bit better.
"Okay, you're right" Sirius conceded to James. "Listen kid" Sirius began before taking a serious look at Lupin. The kid was very white and looked as if he was on the verge of fainting. "Okay, come on, easy fix, we get you to the hospital wing, the nurse gives you something, you feel better, done". "How hard can that be?"
"I can't" Remus muttered. Weak as he was, he forced himself up and out of bed.
"Listen, please, seriously listen. I have a condition. Madam Pomfrey knows about it. I've had it for as long as I can remember. There's nothing anyone can do. I am just going to be the sick kid."
Wow, something serious. James and Sirius hadn't even finished their secret handshake and now they had to talk about something real and potentially scary.
James spoke first: "How sick?" Are you going to die?" James' parents were very old. For and eleven-year-old boy, he spent an unusual amount of time contemplating the mysteries of death.
Remus left to vomit in a toilet.
"I can't believe you just asked him if he's going to die. Who does that?" Sirius mumbled.
"Oh seriously, you know you were thinking it too" James shot back.
"Yeah but it wouldn't be my conversation opener."
"Well, maybe he'll tell us what's wrong with him."
"Well, how would you answer if someone asked you "are you on your deathbed? and there was a possibility that the answer might be yes? We don't even know him very well".
"I think it's an okay question", James answered defensively. "Easy response: umm, yeah, I have two weeks to live so I don't have to worry about the end-of-the-year exams."
As horrible as he felt, at least Lupin had the sense not justify James' question with a response. Returning to his bed, he said:
"Look, if I don't get some peace and quiet someone's going to die and it is not going to be me".
"Look, he bites back" said Sirius, smiling again.
Remus couldn't help but grin.
"I'm not dying. I just have a weak immune system". This was the go-to family lie. "There's no cure."
James had a million more questions but Sirius kicked James in the shins before he could embarrass himself. James thought about what his parents would do if he was feeling sick and miserable.
I'm sorry if I was a bit of a git. It sucks, you know, you being sick on our first weekend. It's such a nice day too."
Sirius cleared his throat. "If you were a git", Sirius muttered in an undertone.
"But let us get you something: water, food, whatever you want" James said brightly.
Remus' thin, pale face broke into a soft smile that warmed his body.
"Thank you" he said. "Maybe just some toast".
The two boys left, waving to Remus and he smiled back.
How strange this day was becoming. Remus suddenly felt more calm than he had felt in a long time. Remus pulled out his diary:
September 10th, 1971,
I think I may have just made friends with the two most pig-headed kids in the year. Oy.
"POP!"
Remus started. A house-elf stood before him. The boy had heard about house-elves but he had never seen one before.
"I is Lamby," the elf said in a bland high-pitch voice. I has orders to bring you this. The house-elf handed Remus a silver tray a bowl of porridge, and a note.
Dear Remus,
Welcome to Hogwarts! I expect that you are presently feeling quite unwell. [understatement Remus, thought] As we discussed earlier, we have made special arrangements for tonight. Please meet Madam Pomfrey in the entrance hall this evening at 5:30. In the meantime, Lamby has graciously agreed to assist you during the day.
Yours sincerely,
Albus Dumbledore
"During the day", he noted. His stomach clenched.
Some part of Remus Lupin had thought that maybe things would be different at Hogwarts or he wouldn't have been allowed to come. He wouldn't be the person, no the thing, that he had been before - that he would have the chance to truly start over.
Perhaps harder than he had since his bite, he began to cry, until his whole body was shaking and he was howling as only a werewolf in boy-form can do.
When his sobs had waned to shaky gasps, Lamby spoke:
"Sir", said Lamby . "Tis okay, Mister. You are a wizard and you have Professor Dumbledore, Sir". After listening to a few more shaky breaths, Lamby continued: "You have to eat, sir".
As he spooned down the bland porridge, he began to feel a little bit better and a bit stronger.
"How may I serve you, Mister?"
"There's nothing anyone can do for me," he mumbled morosely.
Lamby nodded in acknowledgement of the boy and then vanished as quickly as he had come.
For a while, Remus merely stared out into the empty dorm room, then, determined to do something, grabbed Dumbledore's note, tore it in two, and threw the pieces to the floor.
He pulled his covers over his head and tried to think of something - anything - happy. It was what his mother used to tell him to do; He wasn't very good at it.
"And my soul, Dumbledore? Mine?" You alone know whether it will harm your soul to leave a review for some random girl from Brooklyn (I'm like captain America, added Dumbledore).
