A/N I got some people asking for a Sergio Series, so here's my next attempt. Thank you SergioCushion for the prompt!

"Just get out Hotch, I'm not listening to this anymore," the feeder yells at her tall one who begins to stomp towards the door. It's his stomping that awakes me as it is so forceful, it shakes the apartment floor.

"Think about it," he begs her before leaving. The feeder slams the door shut behind him and I make a noise to alert her to my frustration. Gosh, can't a cat nap around this place? The feeder looks to me with wet eyes and I am puzzled at the water on her face. What kind of shower was she now into taking... that one is always trying exotic things with her tall one, but this is no improvement. She looks worse than I did that one time I jumped into the wash basin with her due to my innate curiosity. What is that phrase she kept preaching to me afterwards? Oh yes, 'curiosity killed the cat'. Well I was still very much alive, simply wet although I understand the confusion.

I shiver at the memory and she smiles sympathetically down at me. I open my eyes a tad wider to ask her what this means. She begins to scratch at my head and it creates more frustration than it resolves as her nails are very short and I am not in the mood for a head massage. I attempt to head butt her hand as a sign to tell her to stop, but this only encourages her actions. I settle back into my cushion angrily.

"Serge, you're the only man I can count on. Did you know that?" she says as she begins to play with my tail. I whip it away from her, but she is far too lost in her own thoughts to realize how much of an annoyance she is quickly becoming. Instead I try to tuck my head further into the cushion.

"He's just so, ugh. You know?" she says. I wish I was able to tell her that no, I did not know what him being 'ugh' had anything to do with the spat they had engaged in earlier. How many times had I warned the feeder that the tall ones are all evil, but of course no one listens to the cat. Just wait until I... never mind.

Her petting finally gets the better of me and I stretch and head into her bedroom. The window is closed and I look back at her in frustration. She has followed me and asks if I want out in the same voice she uses to talk to babies. I want to swat her and say: "No, I'm just standing in front of it for fun. Of course I want out you unbelievable imbecile and if I had opposable thumbs I would have done it myself already!". However, I do not speak idiot and cannot convey these thoughts to her. I wait for her slow brain to catch up with mine and spring out the window when she finally unlatches it. I turn back to make sure she has left it open before climbing down the fire escape and onto a fence that lines the back garden of the complex.

"You're late," I hear and I freeze. I turn slowly and attempt to sound contrite.

"Ever so sorry my love, you know how the humans can be," I offer as explanation to the white cat in front of me. Lillian is a beautiful LaPerm, a creature of the amazon as I often imagine her. She is flicking her tail back and forth and I wish I was as meek as the feeder's tall one and could walk away. "And if I may add, you look ever dashing. Your coat looks even more disheveled than usual." She flushes at my compliment before she rights herself once more.

"Oh no, Serge, not this time. We agreed to meet when sun was at it's highest. It has almost set now so please explain to me how your pathetic human companion kept you locked up or confess to the truth: you forgot and were napping," she says haughtily. I bristle and prepare for a fight.

"First of all Lillian, the feeder is not pathetic. Yes she has made some poor life choices, but do not equate her with being pathetic nor my companion. How is it you know how to truly insult me, as if I were of the same intellectual capacity as a human. Secondly, even I had been napping you know that I am well within my right to proper sleep."

"Oh please, you could use more time in the garden. You're getting a treat-belly and you know it," she replies her coat raising.

"Oh do calm yourself Lillian, you look like a Himalayan when you anger yourself," I reply and instantly regret it.

"Now my dearest Sergio, I clearly did not hear you correctly because it sounded like you were relating me to a Himalayan," she says in a voice so quiet that I start to panic for I know she has never been declawed.

"A mere slip of the tongue my dearest," I say and approach her slowly. "You are ever the ravenous creature."

She looks up to me with wide eyes and I think that she has forgiven me until she lets loose a heart wrenching howl. "Oh there there, my love," I say and nudge my head along hers.

"I am getting fat, aren't I? And it's all your fault! You made fat!" she cries and I do my best to comfort her.

"Lillian, do keep your voice down, if the humans suspect a fight we will have to part on such awful terms," I say and she instantly quiets her howling to a soft mewl. She tucks her head down and ignores my attempts to right it. I sigh and sit back. I will let her come to me, all females are the same. I suddenly feel an unlikely kinship with the tall one. Perhaps irrationality and irritability is a trait unique to all females, traits that cross the species border. I will have to investigate this further.

"I'm ready to tell you know, Sergio. I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner, but I was afraid..." she offers with a look on her face that clearly conveys the hope that I will be able to finish her thought for her.

"I'm afraid I don't understand, Lillian," I reply softly.

"I'm with kittens, Sergio. They're yours," she says to the ground. I falter and step back and almost fall of the side of the fence, an act highly unlike myself.

"Well this is...just...wow...you're sure?" I ask carefully.

"Of course I'm sure! Do you honestly think I would have gone to all this trouble if I wasn't sure!" She yells.

"Calm me sweet. Alright then. We are to be parents, but not a word of this to the feeder, understand?" I beg her.

She looks at me incredulously. "Oh right, because I suppose that when I deliver a litter of black and white cats they are going to assume it was Harry to tabby from down the hall. Serge, you're the only black cat in the building!" she spits at me. It's as if she believes I think very little of her.

"Alright, well we keep this quiet as long as possible," I beg her once again. I know what happens to cats who father kittens. They take a car ride, and come back different. Peter told me it was awful. He woke up and his cathood was missing. I swallow.

"Sergio!" I hear the feeder call from her window. The sun has practically set and I know how worried the feeder gets when the window is left open after dark. "I must go now, Lillian. Congratulations. We must choose names tomorrow. And I will be on time, I promise," I tell her with false cheer. Before I can falter I run up to the feeders open bedroom window.

"Did you have a nice time outside?" she asks as she strokes my fur. I flop onto my side, in shock of Lillian's news. She goes to stroke my belly and I dart away from her hand. No human will touch my cathood, this I swear.

A/N Feel free to review with a prompt for another Sergio instalment if you liked this one!