Blake was sitting on her King sized bed all by herself. Her Fingers playing with the material of her bed comforter. Ryan was outside playing with their dog daxter. Just like he always had in the summer. Blake was filled with boredom and decided to go through her camera roll , which had nothing but pictures of her family , pies and her and ryan. Yet she came across a picture that caught her attention. A picture she forgot was even in her camera roll. Ryan would be furious if he found out. It was a picture of her and penn. Her first love. She let out a little smile while her cheeks started red like strawberries. Millions of Flashbacks went through her mind in just one second. Blake Laid on her back on her bed, tossing her phone across her bed. She looked right at her ceiling while placing her hands on her stomach. She couldn't help but think about Penn. Where was he now? Is he dating anyone? Does he still think of blake? Blake rolled over on her right side where sunlight was shining through the window. She felt like she was blinded by the sunlight but her mind was too busy exploding of thoughts about Penn. She couldn't help but think about all the memories of her and penn. The way he made her feel was remarkable. The way he made her laugh was unforgettable. The way he made her happy like no one else could including ryan was miss worthy. She heard the bedroom door knob opening creakily. Blake felt like she was swept into the air and fell down as soon ryan entered the room.
'' Hey baby , what are you doing? are you not feeling well?'' Ryan looked concerned.
Blake sighed before answering. She knew she couldn't tell him she was thinking about her ex.
''uhhhh.. no , im just tired.'' Blake used that phrase whenever she was emotional or just upset.
Ryan decided to lay right next to blake and hug her from the back. He made sure he held blakes hand. He knew something was bothering blake. He stroked her back , he felt negative energy around the room. He glanced around the room spotting blakes phone showing a picture of blake and penn. He got up and reached for blakes phone.
'' Baby why do you have a picture of you and penn?''
Blake was thinking to herself ''Oh shit!'' Blake kept quiet for a few seconds and then nonchalantly grabbed her phone. '' Oh , It was just a picture i forgot i had in my camera roll.''
The thought of deleting the picture didn't come across blakes mind even once. It was the only thing she had of penn. Blake got off her bed and left the bedroom suspiciously. , before ryan could say anything. Making ryan angry and jealous. Words didnt have to be said blake didnt want to be with ryan , her actions already told ryan that. Blake walked all the way downstairs , hearing ryan swinging the bedroom open angrily. Blake walked even faster , as soon she reached the first level of the house she put on her shoes. Blake couldn't think straight. She didn't know why she was running away from ryan. She heard ryans foot steps going down the staircase.
'' Blake where the fuck do you think you are going?'' Blake didn't know if she should answer or just run. '' I am going out to see a friend''. Blake knew ryan was mad and furious. After all she left ryan all confused and she knew for ryan nothing added up. '' Blake don't you dare see penn!'' His voice started getting stronger and louder. Blake was shocked to raise his voice. Blake turned around , looking right at ryans eyes. '' Hes just an old friend , I promise. Why does it matter so much anyways? I have you. I married you.'' Ryan knew if he pulled any arguments right there , they would all be invalid. Blake was right. She married him and she loves him.
'' Fine , whatever go.'' Blake was surprised by ryan's lack of kindness. She was so used to getting a kiss or at least a hug. Instead she got his back and a tempered voice. She knew she got ryan mad and jealous. But she wanted to see penn really bad. Blake stopped over-thinking about it and made her way to her screen door , pushing it gently. Blake set her chanel purse in the back seat of her black , mercedes car. She plugged her keys in , turned off her phone and turned her radio all the way up. She started the engine and left her cozy neighborhood in bedford. She was speeding on the road , she didnt even notice she was driving too fast. She was soon on the brooklyn bridge. Her Golden locks were flowing effortlessly in the wind. She felt good. She let go of the wheel with one hand and rested her hand on the edge of the car window. She finally reached the city. She loved new york city over anything. She soon after found a parking spot in the parking house. She made sure she had her hat on and sunglasses so it was less noticeable to see her. She didn't know who to seek or where to go to find penn. But nothing was gonna stop her from seeing penn. She first made her way to the greenwich village. Penns favorite neighborhood in manhattan. She walked around the neighborhood not exactly knowing what her intentions were. Just about she was to cross the street , she found a billboard with dozens of papers tacked onto it. She saw a young , handsome man on a flier. She was bursting with alleviation and she still had no clue if it was penn. Every closer step she took to the billboard she felt like screaming and jumping down. Blake grabbed the flier off of the billboard. It was penn. The man she once used to love so much. Little did blake know penn had a band called the 'Mothers'. They were playing tonight at six at the campbell apartment bar. Blake exactly knew where that was. It was the bar she lost her virginity to nate in season one and had sex with dan in season 5. She never forgot that place. Blake checked her phone to see if ryan has left any messages. He hasnt. Blake decided to be the grown up and call and check up on ryan. She held her phone close to her ear , waiting for ryans voice to leak through her cell phone. Instead it went right to voice mail. '' Dick'' blake quietly said to herself. Blake slipped back her phone into her chanel purse. Meanwhile she had to hurry to make it to the concert 30 minutes before penn goes on stage. Blake hurried as fast as she could and made her way to the Vanderbilt avenue. She was finally standing in front of the campbell apartment. She took one last breath before stepping in. What if penn wasn't there? What if penn was with another girl? What if penn had hated her? Blake started over thinking but she decided to follow her heart. She swung the golden door open. Stepping one foot over the other. She expected to see penn right there. Right in front of her. Instead she just saw some guys tuning their guitars. Perhaps for the show tonight. Blake seemed to take their attention. They all stopped doing what they were doing and their mouth dropped open. They didn't know blake because she was an actress , they knew her because she was penns first love. Blake pushed some of her blonde strands behind her ear and started walking slowly to a guy who was busy tuning his guitar.
'' uhh hello, My name is Bl-''
Before Blake could say anything else, he interrupted her '' Blake Lively , yes i know.'' Blake was shocked that they all knew who she was. Blake let out a little laughter, '' Yeah thats me , i was wondering if penn was around? I really want to see him''. She sounded like a child asking for a lollipop.
'' Penn is upstairs tuning his own guitar.'' Her heart dropped. She and penn are less then a mile away , for once finally. '' Thankyou so much''. Blake turned around slowly , making sure shes taking slow steps before walking up the stairs. She stopped half way walking up the staircase. She heard someone's voice that sounded so familiar. It was penns! Blake ran up the stairs , she really wanted to scream penn on the top of her lungs. Blake finally made it upstairs. It was quite dim up there. She walked down the dim , narrow hallway. She remembered walking on the dark red carpet a few years ago for gossip girl. But this is Real life now. She had no clue what she would say to penn , or how he would react. But none of that mattered to her. All she wanted to do was see penns face. She came across a door holding a huge sign saying '' PENN BADGLEY''. Blake hesitated. Just as she was about to turn the door knob , it turned already before she managed to touch it. The Door swung open and before neither of them knew it. Penn and blake were looking into eachothers eyes since years.
''Blake⦠what are you doing here?'' Penn acted a little surprised but yet deep down her was happy and excited to see blake right in front of him.
'' I came to see you penn'' Blakes blue eyes got watery. She was looking at the man she used to love with her whole heart. Penn knew blake was in pain. Any person could see something was bothering her , but penn knew blake was in pain. He recognized the pain her big , blue eyes. He hated seeing her like this. He would do anything to see her smile or for her to be happy. Penn saw blake shed a tear. Penn didn't know what to do. He didnt want to be an asshole and just let her stand her. Instead he leaned in and wrapped his hands around her back. Blake doing the same. Blake sniffed against his jacket.
'' C'mon lets go back into the room''. Penn knew that was the right thing to do. Luckily he wasn't going on stage for another hour. Blake cried even harder. Soon after she backed off.
'' I am so sorry penn , for coming out of the blue and start making this huge scene , i just really needed to see you.'' Penn's heart skipped a beat when blake said those exact last seven words. '' Dont worry about it , Stay right here and ill get some wine and glasses and then you'll have to spill everything''. Penn left the room quietly leaving blake behind. Blake swiped away her tears beneath her eyes and glanced around the room. It was quite cozy , Candles lit , fuzzy rugs and had a huge black , leather couch , smothered in pillows. Blake sat down on the couch, letting out a little sigh. Blake felt stupid. Crying right in front of penn when she hasn't seen him in years. The door opened slowly , penn quietly shut the door closed while holding a bottle of red wine and two wine glasses. '' I see already made herself comfortable'' Penn let out a little smirk. '' Shut up penn''. Blake and Penn would always tease each other. Penn made himself comfortable on the couch. Instead of sitting right next to each other they both agreed to sit apple cross and across from each other on the couch. Penn poured red wine in both of their glasses. Blake took little sips at a time. Penn was the type of guy that shuged it all down at once.
Penn broke the silence. '' Blake , what's wrong?'' Penn placed his glass on the coffee table right next to him. Blake couldn't help but look down and inhale big before she opened her mouth and started rambling. '' I haven't been feeling good since i got married with ryan.'' Blake felt so much weight come of her shoulder. She hasn't been able to tell anyone that.
Penn had a concerned look on his face , he had a million questions going through his mind. '' What do you mean havent been feeling good?''. Penn was more concerned about blake then he was when he found blake sobbing on his door entrance. Blake started sobbing again. Penn knew she was married but he felt the need to hold her hand to keep her strong. ''Blake whatever it is , you can tell me.'' Blake felt the need to cry harder and more intense now. Blake knew she was gonna sound stupid saying this. '' I am scared if i tell you , you're gonna hate me or ruin my relationship with ryan.'' Blake let go of penns hand and wiped away her tears. She looked up at penn and tried her hardest not to shed another tear. ''Penn I used to think about marrying you , why did we have to split up? I still think about you almost every day , thinking about how much happier i would be if i were with you''. Blake sobbed even harder. Penn was absolutely shocked and confused more than ever. His Mind became so cloudy and crowded with full of confused thoughts. His first reaction was to take blake in his arms. He felt his shoulder getting soged with blakes tears. He stroked blakes head , finally touching blakes golden , wavy locks after years. Blake Tightened her grip on penns back. It was like they never have been apart. Their arms clasped around each other and pressed their chests together, as warm tears flowed down blakes cheeks. They felt eachothers heartbeat. In sync. Blake kept shedding tears on penns shoulder while penn rested his head on blakes shoulder and stroked her hair. Blake never wanted to let go but she did as she wiped her own tears away. Blake felt more stupid then she did before. Penn hasn't even responded yet. But Blake knew , he didn't had to say anything. She knew the candle between them was still burning. It always had and always will. Blake first smiled by herself and slowly looked up into dan's eyes , '' I mean what we had was real right?''. She didn't even ponder thinking about saying that but that line made penn smile. Penn dropped to a whisper. '' Yeah it was real.'' Penn was still speechless. '' I dont know why we had to break up, you have no idea how hard it was to get over what we had and you broke me even more with the face you married two years after.'' Penn felt the pain he felt two years ago , when he found out about blake and ryan marriage. The Pain hit him times three. Blake saw penns pain hitting him. '' Penn i'm so sorry , i moved on way too fast.'' Blake grabbed penns hand and started rubbing her thumbs against his chilly hands. '' I still loved you when i married ryan''. Blake let out a little quick breath , just because she knew what she was going to say was going to take a lot of strength. '' I thought that if i married ryan , i would get over you faster and be happy but i never ended up being happy.'' Penn couldn't help but let out a smile. Things started adding up now. Blake opened her mouth before penns could. '' I dont think my feelings ever left for you.'' Blake was in a relationship but she couldn't help saying it. She knew penn was feeling the same. '' I don't think mine ever have left for you either blake and i don't they ever will.'' penns Dark brown eyes were locked with blakes big blue eyes. Into those seconds when their eyes were locked with each others eyes , they both got flashbacks on all of the fun they had together. The silence between them got interrupted by a few knocking on the door and a serious low voice screaming on top of his lungs '' Be ready in 5!'. Penn stood up, letting go of blake's hands gently. Blake followed his lead. '' Will you stay and watch?'' Penn was really hoping to a hear a positive yes. '' Of course ill stay.'' Blake led out a fake a smile. Just as much penn knew blake was married , he didn't hesitate to lean in and kiss blake on her forehead. After all these years , penn still remembered blake loved it when penn kissed blake on her forehead. Blake watched penn brisk walk out of the room. She knew there was gonna be a lot of talking left to do. Blake was caught up in time she completely forgot about ryan. Blake picked up her chanel purse and reached for her phone. Ryan tried calling her eight times. She knew she was in trouble. Blake unlocked her phone and dialed ryans number and held her phone up close to her ear. She heard a frustrated voice through the phone.
''Hello?.'' Ryan breathed heavily on the phone. '' Oh hey baby , i'm so sorry i didn't pick up my phone earlier, i wont be home till later tonight.'' Blake bit her lips , she knew ryan was not gonna be okay with that. Never in a milion years. But she just hung up on ryan. She didn't have the energy to argue with ryan. Blake slipped her phone back in the purse and carried her purse on her shoulder and made her way to see penn perform.
It wasn't as crowded as blake thought it was. Blake danced and and took pictures of penn perform. Blake observed every move penn did. The way he held his microphone , the way he shook his hair. It was the smallest things that made her realize she still was in love with penn. As soon penn and his band was done performing and everyone has left the bar , blake made her way to penn. ''Penn! You are amazing!'' Blake went for a short hug. Penn let out a little laugh not trying to sound cocky. '' Thankyou very much ''. Blake hated the fact he called . She would rather much be but blake decided to keep quiet. Blake watched penn set away his musical equipments and say goodbye to his friends. Penn wrapped his arms around Blake's waist and they both made their way out of the Campbell apartment. It was already 12 a.m. Blake was exhausted and tired. She didn't have to say she was , penn could easily tell in her big blue eyes. Penn invited blake over to his apartment. Blake was about to collapse. They walked together down the streets under the full moon. Noisy Cars and people walking by. None of them seemed to matter to them. They were so focused on each other , everything around them was a blur to them. Blake felt like screaming Hallelujah when she arrived to penns apartment and took off her heels. '' Do you want anything to drink? Martini perhaps?'' Penn let out a smirk. Blake rolled eyes , '' Sure''. Blake was too tired to care. She wanted to sleep. She needed the sleep. She ran around penns apartment looking for the bedroom. '' Arghhh! Penn why did you have to move apartments?''. Blake was more than happy when she opened penns bedroom door to find a king sized bed smothered in fluffy pillows. Blake Jumped on the bed and immediately shut her eyes. Penn stepped into his bedroom with two martinis glasses in his hands. He figured he didn't need any of the martini glasses since blake has already fallen asleep. '' Penn come here...'' Blake said in a raspy , tired voice. Penn set both of the martini glasses on his dresser and took quiet footsteps to his bed. Penn didn't know what blake had in mind. Blake is an incredibly unpredictable person. '' Come lay next to me , and hold me in your arms. Lets not do anything besides hold each other in our arms. '' Penn hesitated , he didn't wanna do anything more than hold blake in his arms. Penn got under the covers , wrapping his arms around blake. Blake felt safe with penn. Penn started playing with blakes blonde locks. Next thing penn knew , his lips were touching blakes. The kiss was passionate , not too aggressive just right. Pen slided down his hands down to blakes waist. Somewhere deep in his head , he knew he was making blake cheat. Yet he knew if blake didnt have feelings for him , she wouldn't of kissed penn back.
Blake knew she would of have to face some hardcore consequences for kissing penn. But it didn't matter to her , as long she was the person who she really loved all along. Nothing in the world matters. Blake placed her hands on penns neck , Blake kissed penn so passionately. It felt like they've been kissing everyday. Blake never wanted to leave penns lips. Neither did she want to let go her hands off of penns neck. But she did. She laid her head on penns chest. Penn held her hand tightly , indicating to never let go of blake. Penns voice dropped to a whisper '' I never stopped loving you'' Penn pondered. Blake let out a quick smile while her eyes were still shut. She cleared her throat before saying another word. '' My feelings never let for you either Penn Dayton Badgley.'' It was still engraved in blake's mind that penn loved it whenever blake would call him by his full name. Penn and Blake both knew they still loved each other. When love is real , it finds a way.
Blake woke up on her king sized bed , she woke up in the same position she fell asleep. Her room was pitch black, She felt a hand being connected with hers. She tossed around , still holding ryan hands. She found ryan falling asleep right next to blake. Blake couldn't make up her mind if she was upset over the fact that it was just a dream or that it never happened. Blake checked her phone , she scrolled all the way to the top of her camera roll and deleted the picture of her and penn. It was the only thing she had of penn and her , but she decided a long time ago that ryan was her only love and always will be. Blake wanted to move on with her life and start a family , a thing she never could of done with penn. She laid her phone on her nightstand , got beneath her covers and snuggled into ryan's arms. She was happy how her life is now.
The next morning blake decided to ran some errands in the city , while ryan stayed home and got some cooking done. It was a rainy and cloudy day. Blake ran by paparazzi's into the stores. The little store blake happened to walk in was quiet. She walked to aisles after aisles. Picking out new spices and vegetables. Blake set some cupcakes in her trolley , she saw a pair of dark shoes standing in front of her trolley. She slowly looked up , she found herself locking eyes with a dark brown haired , handsome man. Blake was shocked to see penn after all these years and her absurd dream she had about him. Maybe it is true after all , when love is real.. It finds a way.
