Pains of Nursing
Disclaimer:I do not own Boland,Red Faction,Timesplitters,Legend of Spyro,My little pony,Monster,Silent Hill,Dead Space,Halo,Myst,or Care bears.I own many of the other characters.
Episode 1:Babysitter's Blood
One day at the Sander's Home,Andrew had some of his friends over.
While he was taking a nap,Thomson and Walter were playing Timesplitters:Future perfect on his PS2. Cynthia was getting her diaper changed,while Violet was just watching Andrew sleep,she thought he was so sexy. They all wore Cloth Strapped Diapers,while Walter also wore Blue jean overalls.
In his dream,Andrew was in a dark room,sitting on his bed. Violet came on his bed as well and did the strangest thing,she undid one of his diaper straps! Andrew was turned on by this,and he undid one of hers. Violet kicked her diaper off as she pulled a blanket over both of them. Then,she undid Andrew's other diaper strap and pulled his diaper off.
Back in real life,Andrew stuck his tounge out and smiled,enjoying his wonderful dream. Cynthia came in with her new diaper. Walter and Thompson turned off Andrew's PS2.
Thompson:"I fucking hate those damn Virus Matches!"
Cynthia started running towards Violet,but she slipped on a Gameinformer on the ground and landed on Andrew in the most Peculiar position of interest. Her groin was on his face while her face was over his groin.
Andrew,as you guessed,woke up. He was very angry at being disturbed from his dream. He grabbed Cynthia by her tail (which hurts like crap) and swung her around,eventually releasing and throwing her through his window,which also tore her diaper off.
Meanwhile...
Alias was on the roof of the Public information building. A gunship landed on the Helipad.
Quill(comm):"Still no shot."
Molov(comm):"It's up to you Alias."
Suddenly,Cynthia,came flying into the very gunship and destroyed it.
Molov(comm):"You did it Alias!"
Cynthia stumbled out of the crash site,holding Chancellor Sopot's hat in front of her groin as she ran off.
Back at Andrew's House...
Andrew got up,cracked his neck and pulled up his diaper. Boland,Andrew's older brother(wearing a blue sweatshirt,Blue jeans,black tee shirt,and red lined pull-ups),came in.
Boland:"Does anyone need changed before I go to therepy?"
Everyone pulled out the fronts of their diapers.
Walter(blush):"I do."
Boland picked up Walter and took him out of the room. Thompson suddenly pissed his diaper.
WARNING NEXT SEGMENT CONTAINS EXTREME GENITAL VIOLENCE! MARKED IN BOLD FOR YOUR INTEREST.
Thompson:"Damn,I need a change too."
Andrew:"Well you better hurry dumbass,Boland's leaving soon!"
Thompson:"Pfffft,I can change myself."
Thompson grabbed a diaper cloth and safety pin and ran into the closet. He threw his wet diaper off and wrapped the cloth around him. He inserted the pin,and felt intense pain. He looked down and saw blood coming from his groin. It apparantly went through his junk. He pulled it out again,and had his primary genital on it. A long stream of blood shot out from his groin and he passed out from blood loss.
Violet and Andrew went downstairs to watch some tv. A commercial for Spyro:Dawn of the Dragon was on. Spyro and Cynder were standing in front of a massive volcano.
Cynder:"Spyro...I'm scared."
Spyro:"Don't worry,I'll protect you."
Then a massive Anvil crushed them both.
Andrew:"What a depressing game."
Violet:"Andrew,I want to watch "My little pony"."
Andrew:"Fuck off,I'm watching Monster!"
Violet Tackled Andrew and tried to wrestle the remote away from him. He kicked her in the face (Uncivilized, don't you think?) which knocked out some of her baby teeth. She fell backwards as Andrew grabbed her legs, but she flinged him overhead. He smashed through a wall and landed in the basement. Violet saw him laying on the floor. She performed a drop kick, but he rolled out of the way and tackled her. When he was on top of her,they took off each other's diapers and started to make out.
Boland:"Little brother,your friends dry."
Andrew and Violet immediatly put their diapers back on and stood up. Boland appeared in the hole in the wall.
Boland:"Damn it! Mom's gonna blame me for this too!"
Walter appeared next to him,without his overalls on. Boland picked him up by his diaper and set him next to Andrew.
Violet:"Uhh,Walter? Where are your overalls?"
Walter:"Andy's Raging brother tore them."
Andrew:"How?"
Flashback..
Boland set Walter down on the changing table and tried to take off his overalls.
Boland:"How the hell do you undo these?"
Walter:"I can do it."
Boland:"Don't bother,I think I almost got it."
Boland got a pair of scissors and tried to cut the straps,but they remained.
Boland:"Are these made of Aluminum?"
Walter:"Could you hurry it up,I'm starting to get a rash."
Boland grabbed Walter's overalls and pulled them with all his strength. Then he tore them right off,revealing Walter's yellow diaper.
Walter:"Those were limited edition! Mom's gonna kill me!"
Boland:"Sorry."
End flashback.
Violet:"Well,I should be leaving."
Andrew:"See you later honey."
Andrew kissed her,she got so turned on that she pissed herself.
Meanwhile,in an alley...
Cynthia wandered through the alleys,still completely naked. She found an unlocked door that she entered. She then found a group of KKK members having a meeting...
Meanwhile,Back at Andrew's house,Andy heard a bit of distressing news...
Andrew:"Boland has to Babysit me!?"
Boland took off his sweatshirt,Their mother was getting ready to leave.
Mother:"I'm sorry sweetie,but your father lost his arm at work and he wants me to personally sew it back on."
Boland took off his tee shirt. Andrew made his puppy dog eyes.
Andrew:"But can't you at least take me with you?"
Mother:"I'm sorry honey,but they made a new rule stating that children under 12 aren't permitted at the factory since one started a fire with a welder."
Boland took off his jeans,revealing his red lined pull-ups.
Mother:"Don't worry,I'll be back before you realize it. You be a good boy,let Boland change you and don't get your tail stuck in the blender again."
Andrew:"I still have the scars..." Holding his tail up.
His Mother kissed him on the head and walked over to Boland.
Mother:"Boland,I left a bag of Pull-ups by your Bed in case you have another Accident.."
Boland:"MOM!"
Andrew laughed.
Boland:"Shut up!"
Their Mother grabbed Boland,sat down,laid him on her lap,pulled down his Pull-ups and spanked him.
Mother:"I want you to be nice to your brother for a change!"
Andrew laughed even harder,Boland wanted to tear his heart out. His Mother whipped him with her belt.
Mother:"Will you be nice to your brother?"
Boland started crying.
Boland:"Yes."
Mother:"Good."
Boland pulled up his Pull-ups as their mother left. Andrew's laughter ceased,and tears fell from his eyes. He started wailing and fell to the ground,slamming his fist on the floor.
Boland,thinking that their mother might hear him,panic'ed. He ran over to Andrew and waved a rattle in front of his face. Andrew gave him a dirty look. He took off his diaper and threw it at Boland's face. Boland pulled it off and broke an emergency glass cabinet which contained a Cookies and Cream bar. He unwrapped it and waved it in front of Andrew's face. Andrew stopped crying and grabbed it. As he let it melt in his mouth,Boland took his diaper and put it back on him. He then took him to the kitchen table and set him in his high chair.
Boland:"Thank god thats over."
He gave Andrew a Bottle of Milk that was left out by his mother. He sat down and Sprayed some healing fluid on his rear,which was scarred. Andrew Finished his bottle in 5 seconds. He felt the urge to urinate. He held his groin,trying to prevent the inevitable,but alas,he peed in his diaper. Boland noticed he was holding his groin.
Boland:"Did you wet yourself?"
Andrew:"No."
A stream of urine shot through a puncture in his diaper,which was aimed at Boland.
Boland:"Don't panic,I'll just change you and-"
Andrew jumped out of his chair and started running,which was difficult because his diaper now weighed 10 pounds.
Boland:"Fuck."
Boland tackled Andrew to the floor.
Boland:"Just calm down,I will make it quick."
Andrew:"Screw you! Your a child rapist!"
Andrew continuously elbowed Boland in the face. Boland undid both of Andrew's diaper straps and took it off. Andrew kicked Boland's un-developed Groin,which caused him to wince over in pain. Andrew took off upstairs,naked. As he rounded the corner,Boland grabbed him,somehow he got up there before him.
Boland:"You could use a bath,you actually saved me alot of time."
Andrew:"How the fuck did you get up here before me?!"
Boland:"I used the revolutionary Teleportation Plasmid! Brought to you by Ryan Industries!"
Andrew:"What!?"
Boland:"Plugging in these commercial products help pay for the production costs."
Meanwhile...
Cynthia dropped her blood covered Paper cutter. All around her lay dead bodies of KKK members. She tore a portion of one of their robes off. She wrapped the sheet around her pelvis and tied 2 knots on her hips,forming a makeshift Loin cloth (or diaper,in her case.). She left the building,entering the alley once more. Oscar,the grouch from Sesame Street,stared at her from his garbage can.
Oscar:"Who are you supposed to be? Jesus? Halloween ain't for another month kid!"
He laughed,which caused him to miss the electrical Conduit swing at his face from Cynthia. His head gave a loud crack and he fell into his garbage can,now lined with his own blood. She then entered the subway,bound for home.
Back at Andrew's place...
Boland's face was almost dripping with blood,a result of various kicks from Andrew. After giving him a very short bath,he was trying to put a new cloth diaper on him. Andrew wouldn't remain still,but Boland finally managed to pin the diaper on him. Andrew threw some baby powder in Boland's face,which almost blinded him. Andrew jumped down from the table. His diaper almost fell off,but he grabbed it and pulled it up,as he ran off.
After Boland finally regained his sight,he knew Andrew was hiding somewhere. He decided to check Andrew's closet. After he opened the door,he saw Thompson's dead Body,laying in a pool of blood,but what's worse was what he saw on the safety pin which was supposed to be on his groin! He slammed the door shut and leaned up against it. He did his best to erase the memory from his head. He felt his groin and looked down,his Pull-ups were wet.
Boland:"Shit,Mom Jinxed me."
After changing into a dry pair,Boland went down into the basement,which was flooded. Boland slipped off his pull-ups and waded into the water. A lurker from Silent Hill:Homecoming broke the surface of the water behind him. Boland turned around,but instead of panicing he addressed it.
Boland:"Sorry to disturb you,Mr. Kelger,but have you seen my little brother by chance?"
The Lurker shook it's head.
Boland:"Oh,thanks anyway,say hi to Vaitel for me."
The Lurker decsended back in the water. Boland heard screaming upstairs,he quickly sprinted up the stairs and saw Andrew run towards him. Andy jumped into Boland's Arms.
Andrew:"D-D-Did you see what was in my closet?"
Boland:"Just don't think about it."
Andrew:"Good lord! Your sicker than I thought!"
Boland realized he was still naked,he left his pull-ups downstairs.
Boland:"Uhhhhhhhh,wait here for a second."
Boland dropped Andrew and quickly ran back downstairs for his Pull-ups. He returned upstairs and was surprised to see that Andrew was still there.
Boland:"Finally giving up?"
Andrew:"No,you just gave me a Concussion when you dropped me,dickweed!"
Boland picked up Andrew again. Andrew's diaper came undone,laying flat.
Andrew:"I'm telling mom what a horrible babysitter you are!"
Boland:"Whatever,Just lay down."
Andrew:"Just hurry it up! I'm tired and I think that gallon of milk I drank is kicking in."
Andrew lied down and let Boland diaper him. It was just in time,after the pin was secured,Andrew wet his diaper again.
Andrew:"Change me again,before I get a rash!"
Boland:"Look,it's hot tonight. Why don't you go to sleep without one?"
Andrew was on the verge of a tantrum,but he calmed down.
Andrew:"Fine,I'm too tired to argue. Just let me change into my pajama's myself."
Boland:"Fine by me."
They both went upstairs,Andrew locked himself in his room with Boland waiting outside.
Boland:"When your done,slide your diaper under the door. Mom likes to clean them."
Andrew:"Whatever."
Andrew took off his diaper and slid it under the door. He put on his sky blue sleeper Pajamas and got in bed.
Andrew:"Good night!"
Boland:"Don't let the Necromorphs bite!"
Andrew:"Shut up!"
Boland took Andy's diaper and threw it in the laundry hamper in the bathroom. Then,he grabbed his pull-ups and tore them off horizontally,he could just get a new pair. Then he got in the shower. Meanwhile,Andrew didn't go to sleep.
Andrew:"Hehehe,he fell for it."
He painted black stripes on his cheeks and pulled a box out from under his bed.
Meanwhile,in an Alleyway...
Cynthia looked down at her diaper,it was wet. She knew if she continued wearing it,she could get a rash. She took it off and threw it in a nearby Garbage can. She peeked around the corner. She saw Hugs and Tugs from Care Bears in front of a Gamestop.
Hugs:"Tugs,won't the others get mad if they find out we're missing?"
Tugs:"We've been over this before,ever since we lifted that Xbox 360 from No heart,I've been hoping for a chance to get some games for it. Just wait here and watch for any of the others."
Tugs went inside the store. Cynthia noticed Hugs was wearing a diaper as well. She hatched a devious plot. She surveyed a selection of Melee weapons laying nearby. She chose a wooden 2x4. Carefully she sneaked behind Hugs,and beamed her on the head. When no one was looking,she untied Hugs' diaper and ran back in the Alley,where she put it on herself. Satisfied,she strolled home. Tugs came back out with a copy of Halo:Reach.
Tugs:"Hey,get your ass up!"
Hugs woke up.
Hugs:"What happened?"
Tugs:"It looked like you were sleeping on the job. And why are you naked?"
Hugs:"WHAT?"
Meanwhile,Cynthia finally reached home. She went into her room where she found her brother,Walter,in his white Sleeper,playing his Dsi.
Walter:"I hate this fucking game,so boring."
Cynthia:"What are you playing?"
Walter jumped in surprise,perhaps wetting himself.
Walter:"Where have you been?"
Cynthia:"Long story. What game?"
Walter:"Myst."
Back at Andrew's house...
Boland got out of the shower. He was wearing a green towel. Suddenly,a delicious smell filled the air. He followed it downstairs and he saw,on the table,a Chilly pepper sandwich! His favorite snack! He immediatly consumed it. Then he felt sick. So sick that he passed out on the floor. He blacked out and saw a bright light. He walked into the light and he found himself in a room filled with Chilly pepper sandwiches!
Andrew slid his box of Cyanide pills back under his bed. Then he got in his bed and fell asleep,completely satisfied with killing his brother.
The End
Andrew:"DAMN IT! I fucking pissed myself!"
