Totes amkatutbhazeekzil was at the mall, waten for his friend Farkas to arrive. They were both gonna go Christmas shopping together, becos they had something in common; they both had super important girlfiends. Amkatutbhazeekzil totes gf was Megerlieramberina, the totally hero of Kvatch who saved Syrupdil (the continent) from the totes oblivion crisis. Farkas girlfriend was also important, she was the Dovahkiin, the totally chosen one.
Amkatutbhazeekzil saw Farkas, he was wearing a designer suit of armour. Amkatut knew that he was a werewolf, but he was a dremora so he was even moar evil. Amkatut was a totes good dremora though. He wore fashionable daedric armour with his black hair looking fabulous becos he'd put some hair gel made out of oblivion lava in it. Farkas had also done his hair, it looked red because he'd used the blood of werewolf hunters as hairgel.
"What are totes gonna buy?" wondered Amkatut aloud. "My totes gf is really rich so she already has everything."
"Yeah same, mine is a totes princess! Idk what she lieks. She's a dragon, do you know what dragons like?"
"No, dragons were extinct during my game."
"Oh yeah, true."
"Maybe you could get her something related to werewolves instead, she must clearly totes like them since she's totes dating one."
"wow, youre so logical and smart, unlike me, im kind of dumb tbh, and the other people in my class totally bully me about it," he made a sad face to show he was sad. "I'm bad at maths, I only got 1/40 on the last test, which means I failed."
"Im pritty sure being bad at maths dusent mean youre dumb. If people are being mean to me i get mad because my totally disposition towards them decreases."
"Wut?"
"Oh yeah, gotta play oblivion to get that one. This shop looks totes interesting."
"This one looks totes interestinger, lets go in there," said farkas. The shop had lots of spikes and looked very forebode, but totally amkatut was brave so he went in there anyway. Totally farkas saw a bootiful silver werewolf necklace in the shop. It was so beautiful, it would look pefect on Hildreannaleena. Farkas thort about him totes gf and how perfect she was. She had red hair, which all good heroines in stories like these have. She also had blue eyes, blue is the colour of Microsoft office word which im using to write this. She was so pretty, omg he was daydreamin.
"um, you ok?" totally asked the shopkeeper, a scary lookin womna in daedric armour with a studded belt, listening to totes heavy metal by the band Daedric Maiden. She was totally headbanging to the beats, then her eyephones fell out, she was so mad becos it meant sh ecudent hear her music anymore.
"Yeah, Im fine, I was just thinking about my totes gf Hildreannaleena."
"the duvetkin? Omg I know her, im serana I used to be her friend."
"OMG I KNOW YOU, YOU TRIED TO KILL HER!" he totally transformed into his werewolf form, knowing she was totes a vampire. It was totally vampires vs werewolves, like twilight except skyrim and they didn't totes sparkle. Serana muhahahaed, then she totally shot him in the face with a totally silver arrow.
"arrrgh scream Farkas because he was hurt
"Omg no, totes Farkas, how dare you hurt my friend?" Amkatutbhazeekzil thought of how Megelieramberina defeated Mehrunes Dagon – oh yeah by insulting his totally fashion."your daedric armour is ugly, mine looks way cooler."
"OH TOTES EM NEIN DEVEINS, DID YOU JUST INSULT MY DAYDRIC ARMORE? THAT'S IT, IM DISTROYING U!" she totally used a vampire spell, oh no he was infected with the vampire disease. He quickly ran to the nearest chapel to get cleansed, then he ran back.
"Your daedric armoire is totally fake and made of plastic," insulted her Farkas, he had recovered from his wound by eating potatoes which restored his health. He had eaten 1000 potatoes at once. Then he threw up the poptatoes on the floor, and Serana went ew. She tried to shoot another arrow at Farkas, but she slipped in the totes potato vomit and the arrow went through the window instead. A totally ray of sunlight shone through the window, which hit Serana and she died because she wos a totally vompire.
"Good job farkas."
"Im going to totally chop off Serana head and give it as a present, Hildreannaleena hates Serana so she'll love it.'
"Perfect idea," said Amkatutabhazeekzil, "but get her the necklace too, it's not like we have to pay since the shop owner is totes dead."
Now it was time to find Megelieramberina's present. Amktatu bought her a totally dog, it was a cute Labrador. He couldn't wait to see what she named it.
It was Christmas day, and all the totes bffs were opening their presents.
Totally megelieramberina opened hers first. "Oh how cute, a totally puppy! I'm gonna name him Punksi."
"That's a good name agreed everyone."
She gave totally amkattubajze a kiss on the cheek for being the best totes bf like evar. Then she opened the presnt her bestie caroline got for her… it was an akaviri katana! "Omg I've always wanted an akiviri katana, I can do my totes eyebrows with this." Then she opened her present from totes Hildreannaleena – it was a box of foundation but it had infinite supply. "Omg thanks Hilds, this is like the best present ever, except the dog and katana are equally good of course," she quickly added smiling at her totally bf and bff.
Now it was totally Hildreannaleena turn. She opened her present from farkas, a severed head. It was kinda gross, but she pretended to be really happy. But he had totes gotten her another present, a totally necklace. It was so cute and went well with her Christmas outfit. She wos wearing a read jumper and green jeans. Usually green is unfashionable to wear with red except at Christmas. She opened her gift from her bff, Rikke, which was a photo album of all the pics of them and their other bff Elisif. She thort it was the cutest thing like totes ever. She got a pretty dress from Elisif, it was blue to complement her eyes. Finally from odahvving she got a movie called how to train your dragon which she thort was funny.
Totally farkas was curious to see what him totes gf had got him. She had gotten him a totally Hircine stone which let him transform into a werewolf twice a day instead of only once. He was so happy. Him friend Amkatutbhazeekzil got him a soot of daedric armour which looked cool instead of loser like Serana's. he put it on because it was red which is a Christmas colour. Finally his brother Vilkas got him a guide on how to become smarter, which he thort was mean. His friend Aela the huntress also gave him a present, a new sword to stab mean people with.
Totally Amkatutbhazeekzil wondered what totally megelieramberina had gotten him. It was totes… another dog! "Aww, this dog is so cute, im gonna call her Punksii, that's daedric for punksi."
He also got a luxury dog house from farkas for his new dog to sleep in and a new flip phone (hes from 2006) from him totes sister, Gelteroolazetkeremereleeliesanna.
Totally rikke got a stone to bring her back from the dead from Elisif, and a winged eyeliner kit from Hildreananleena, she was sooo happy. Her totes bf Ulfric got her the latest cds by snoopdragon, her favourite skyrim artist.
Elisif also got a new crown from hildreannaleena becos shes like the queen, and a camera to take amzing selfies on from rikke.
Caroline got a new ballerina outfit becos she liked ballet. Megelieramberina was her only friend, but another Blade, Baurus, got her a totally new Christmas hat becos he felt sorry for her
Omnd it was the nicest chritsmas ever, even if it had bin kinda eventful for poor farkas and amkatut.
AN: happy holdaisy everyone, I hope you hae a good day. I hope you enjoy this Christmas special. I also don't wanna seem like im makin fun of metal fans, becos I mself am a fan of daedric maiden. This is my present to all my readers xoxo Reenava
