The Crow Mercenaries And The Great Snow Crisis of 2014
As it dawns once again on the year that is new
I break my hiatus to contact all you.
"It's time to begin," I opened my laptop,
"Another great poetry time! Type till you drop."
Prototype sighed and he rolled his brown eyes.
"You're writing again? Why am I not surprised?"
I turned up my music, scorning the naysayer:
"I thought you were leveling your Rune Slayer."
"Raven awoke to a crisp winter day.
But it was 50 degrees, to his great dismay.
'I used to be able to tell it was December.
This is why global warming sucks – remember.'
So he rolled out of bed and strode onto the deck.
The Mercenaries awaited – at his call and beck."
It's "beck and call," Prototype criticized.
"Either or," I shot back, quite antagonized.
"'Sir, there's no snow,' they said.
'What are we to do when grass still shows its head?'
Their fearless leader gave this some thought.
Till he realized that all was not for…naught.
'I'll tell you what!' the bird-hair replied.
'We'll make snow, I say! We'll not be denied.'
The mercenaries cheered. Then they stopped.
Suddenly the enthusiasm of the group dropped.
'Pardon me sir, but forgive me now
For asking…how.'
Raven pursed his lips and looked up at nothing.
Then looked back down and started, 'Here's the thing.
Remember when we stole Christmas last year?
We still have some of that snow up here.'
The mercenaries cheered once again, stamping and roaring.
They woke up some Snipers who'd still been snoring.
One put on the Overture of 1812.
Another started wildly swinging his helve."
"Helve? What the actual Hell?"
Prototype continued to let his disbelief swell.
"It's the handle of a tool, I daresay.
Now pipe down, these author's notes are getting in the way."
"They rushed down to the stores of the airship.
'Let's go, people, don't give any lip!'
They then retrieved the year-old snow
How they stored it, nobody knows."
Quite simple really. It was a plot device.
That explanation should suffice.
And so they tossed the snow all over Elrios…
Elsword rejoiced, Aisha was glad,
And most importantly Revenshipping lemon was had.
Eve and Chung frolicked and danced,
Add in his lunatic way decided to prance.
Ara, back in Sander, was distraught.
'You think I'm happy? I'm not.'
For this same thing had happened last year."
"You've been trolled again, Foxgirl! Making that clear."
…said Prototype.
And so the moral is that the needs of the many outweigh the needs of Ara Haan.
Have a holly jolliday.
Thank the gods for Rhymebrain.
By the way, I wrote the whole thing while listening to the Overture of 1812.
The End
