I DO NOT OWN THE TWILIGHT SAGA
I like to think of life as being like a deck of cards. Some people hit the jackpot, while others get the shitty cards caused by the dealer not shuffling them good enough. My best friend Carrie, for example, got dealt the jackpot.
She grew up with rich parents, lived in a nice house, had nice clothes, all the latest technology and devices. When she got her license, her parents bought her a new car. And she didn't have to worry about good grades in high school because her parents donated a completely new science lab to Stanford U, her dream college, equipped with all the latest technology, brand-new computers, the works. All with the condition that his daughter be accepted into their school. And don't get me wrong, she was the farthest thing from the worst student in the world, her grades were fine… but not worthy of Stanford.
I—on the other hand—had a life that was the complete opposite of hers. I was the oldest of nine children, and had about eight years on the second oldest. My parents were addicts, addicted to a number of illegal substances. My mother only stopped shooting up long enough to pop out another kid at least once a year after Lena was born. She got up to four kids before we were taken away from our parents and put into foster care. Partly because of their drug addiction and lack of parenting skills. And partly because my school had found out that I was pregnant at the ripe young age of eleven. I know that they doubted an eleven-year-old fifth grader was going out and hooking up with people, so CPS did some digging and found out that our parents had let their dealer have sex with me in exchange for free drugs.
So they took us away, I was eleven, Lena was three, Carson was two, and Phoebe was just a few months. We were separated and each put into group homes. I had my son, who was immediately placed for and adopted. A couple months later I found out that my mother had given birth to another kid, Tobias or "Toby". Then, year after year, I gained a new sibling. Mason, Benjamin "Ben", Savannah. The youngest is Sofi. After that either my mother died or decided that she was done birthing children because after I found that Sofi entered the foster system, we didn't get another sibling.
I bounced around foster homes for most of my life, and didn't get out until I turned eighteen. Luckily I had enough sense to work my ass off in school and managed to get a full scholarship to Stanford where I studied to be a teacher. And that's where I met Carrie.
I don't blame her for having all these nice things. I don't blame her for not having to worry about anything. That was what she was born into. It was the hand she had been dealt. It's not her fault. But I'm still envious of her. She has the freedom I'll never have.
Especially now that I've finally got full custody of my younger siblings. Lena is now sixteen and is a junior, while Sofi, the youngest, is nine and in the fourth grade. I know that I chose to take on this responsibility. Nobody forced me. But I can't help but feel even more resentment towards my parents. Helen and Bob should have never reproduced. Because now I'm the one cleaning up the mess they made.
Don't get me wrong, I love my siblings very much. I'd do anything for them. But I'm a twenty-four-year-old girl who should be out, having my own life… not raising eight kids.
But, like I said earlier, these are the cards I was dealt. I don't have much say in what happens now, but I do know that I won't abandon these kids like Helen and Bob did.
The fact that I was raped and forced to have a baby at eleven. The fact that I was bounced around shitty foster homes most of my life. The fact that I'm now basically a single mother of eight kids I didn't even give birth to. And the fact that I'm holding myself together by a thread… these are things that we don't say out loud. These things are the baggage that comes with me: Riley Anderson, a broken girl in a fucked up world.
A/N: What did you guys think? I know that I have a lot of stories going on right now but I've been browsing Pinterest lately and got the idea for this story. I thought that I'd see how it turned out. Please review!
~Gina
