"Wake up boy, hic wake up now!" Harry groaned and rolled
over, his Aunt Petunia was so odd nowadays. Uncle Vernon and Aunt Petunia
got that way after listening to some of Dudley's new punk Cd's. Harry sat
up in his bed and rubbed his eyes. Dudley had turned into a punk; his Aunt
and Uncle had turned into satanic red-necked drunks, what else could go
wrong this year. "I just can't wait until school", Harry sarcastically
mumbled, as he got dressed into some of Dudley's hand-me downs. He opened
his door to meet face to face with his cousin, Dudley. Harry quickly shook
his head and looked away, it was too early in the morning to be greeted
with something that.demented. "C'mon Pot-Head! Some Weasel character just
came out of the fire place, calls him self Ron, he does." Harry's mouth
dropped wide open.
"What did Aunt Petunia and Uncle Vernon, do about it!" Harry shrieked. His
Aunt and Uncle would surely kill Ron, all Harry needed to know was what
method had they chosen this time.
Dudley winced, "They're serenading him with a belly dance or something. I really don't know, Pot, it was really to awful to watch."
Harry's mouth again dropped open.
Dudley turned to leave and then decided to face Harry again. "Oh, good morning, you stinking orphan." With that he gave Harry a good blow to the stomach and then retreated to his room.
Harry then heard the frightened scream of his redheaded friend, Ron. Through his pain he hurried downstairs.
As Harry approached the living room he heard Ron yelling, "Get back you bloody satanic drunk red-necks or I'll bloody beat you with my bloody laptop!" Harry stopped dead in his tracks, "Laptop? Since when to the Weasley's have enough money to get a laptop, or since when do they use muggle devices?"
When Harry entered the living room he was completely horrified at what he saw. His Aunt and Uncle, both shirtless, had Ron cornered in a um.corner and were belly dancing around him. Ron, who was also completely horrified had only his laptop to save him from the horrific sites. Harry thinking quickly shouted, "Aunt Petunia, Uncle Vernon! I just saw the UPS man go next door!" His Aunt and Uncle turned, their necks were red alright. "UPS, you say? Vern lets go get him!" With that both Harry's Aunt and Uncle went bounding out side, shirtless to get the UPS man. The poor UPS man was their favorite toy.
Harry looked out the window at his pitiful Aunt and Uncle, God, he felt bad for his neighbors.
"Ron, are you alright?" Harry asked. Ron removed the laptop from in front of his face, "I'm, fine, but uh, can we go before they get back?" "Oh sure I'll just go get my trunk and you can go ahead", Harry nodded at the fireplace. Ron smirked, "Oh Harry, no one travels by floo powder anymore! It's all about your wheels!"
Harry gave Ron a confused glance and then went to get his trunk, and Hedwig. Ron helped Harry load his school stuff into the trunk of his brand- new yellow H2. "Um, Ron since when did you er.start using muggle, er.stuff." Harry questioned as he climbed into the expensive off-road vehicle.
Ron put the key into the ignition, "Harry, haven't you ever heard about ebaY?" Harry shook his head. Ron started the engine and the radio began blasting Marilyn Manson's song mObscene. Harry, who was taken by surprise, jolted back into his seat, "My God, Ron you listen to this stuff!"
Ron shook his head, "Sorry, Harry my bloody brother, Percy must have used this thing last, honestly, if he'd only." "PERCY!" Harry shouted. Ron turned off the radio, "Geez, Harry don't look so bloody surprised. Percy's become a transsexual Marilyn Manson fan, so what?" Ron began to drive out of Private Drive, only hitting about three mailboxes this time. Harry stiffened up in his seat, "What the hell was wrong with this world?"
When they were only about 45 minutes from the Burrow disaster struck. Ron and Harry were stuck in traffic.in between two municipal sewage drainer trucks. "Uh, what the hell is that bloody smell, Harry?" Ron gagged. Apparently Ron hadn't discovered the finer points of the muggle world. "Probably, all of Private Drive's shit, Ron." Harry said through gasps. Ron got a disgusted look on his face. Through his despair, Ron began to bang his head off of the steering wheel. "Ya' know, Ron if you do that for an hour you could burn 150 calories." Ron looked up at Harry all the while banging his head off of the wheel, "No, Harry, that's if you bang your head off of a wall." "No, Ron, it's diffidently a steering wheel." Ron let out a false cough that sounded a lot like, "Wall" "Steering wheel!"
"Wall!"
"Steering wheel!"
"Wall!"
"Steering Wheel!"
"Wall!"
They went on like this for a good while as traffic slowly inched along the road. Finally, after several hours Ron and Harry reached the Burrow. Everything seemed normal, well as normal as a family of extremely poor wizards could be. But the normality existed strictly on the out side of the house, on the inside; well we just won't go there yet.
---
Ashley- I hope you all liked my story. I tried to make each character something they'd never be or didn't act like. Take the Dursley's for instance; they WERE the most normal people around, till I got a hold of them. Lol. Please review, even if you don't like it. I will except ideas and I may want a co-writer later in the story. If you would be interested in co writing email me at aero89ein@hotmail.com Mind you, I MAY want a co- writer, so that means just cause you want to I might not. I dunno, we'll see.
Dudley winced, "They're serenading him with a belly dance or something. I really don't know, Pot, it was really to awful to watch."
Harry's mouth again dropped open.
Dudley turned to leave and then decided to face Harry again. "Oh, good morning, you stinking orphan." With that he gave Harry a good blow to the stomach and then retreated to his room.
Harry then heard the frightened scream of his redheaded friend, Ron. Through his pain he hurried downstairs.
As Harry approached the living room he heard Ron yelling, "Get back you bloody satanic drunk red-necks or I'll bloody beat you with my bloody laptop!" Harry stopped dead in his tracks, "Laptop? Since when to the Weasley's have enough money to get a laptop, or since when do they use muggle devices?"
When Harry entered the living room he was completely horrified at what he saw. His Aunt and Uncle, both shirtless, had Ron cornered in a um.corner and were belly dancing around him. Ron, who was also completely horrified had only his laptop to save him from the horrific sites. Harry thinking quickly shouted, "Aunt Petunia, Uncle Vernon! I just saw the UPS man go next door!" His Aunt and Uncle turned, their necks were red alright. "UPS, you say? Vern lets go get him!" With that both Harry's Aunt and Uncle went bounding out side, shirtless to get the UPS man. The poor UPS man was their favorite toy.
Harry looked out the window at his pitiful Aunt and Uncle, God, he felt bad for his neighbors.
"Ron, are you alright?" Harry asked. Ron removed the laptop from in front of his face, "I'm, fine, but uh, can we go before they get back?" "Oh sure I'll just go get my trunk and you can go ahead", Harry nodded at the fireplace. Ron smirked, "Oh Harry, no one travels by floo powder anymore! It's all about your wheels!"
Harry gave Ron a confused glance and then went to get his trunk, and Hedwig. Ron helped Harry load his school stuff into the trunk of his brand- new yellow H2. "Um, Ron since when did you er.start using muggle, er.stuff." Harry questioned as he climbed into the expensive off-road vehicle.
Ron put the key into the ignition, "Harry, haven't you ever heard about ebaY?" Harry shook his head. Ron started the engine and the radio began blasting Marilyn Manson's song mObscene. Harry, who was taken by surprise, jolted back into his seat, "My God, Ron you listen to this stuff!"
Ron shook his head, "Sorry, Harry my bloody brother, Percy must have used this thing last, honestly, if he'd only." "PERCY!" Harry shouted. Ron turned off the radio, "Geez, Harry don't look so bloody surprised. Percy's become a transsexual Marilyn Manson fan, so what?" Ron began to drive out of Private Drive, only hitting about three mailboxes this time. Harry stiffened up in his seat, "What the hell was wrong with this world?"
When they were only about 45 minutes from the Burrow disaster struck. Ron and Harry were stuck in traffic.in between two municipal sewage drainer trucks. "Uh, what the hell is that bloody smell, Harry?" Ron gagged. Apparently Ron hadn't discovered the finer points of the muggle world. "Probably, all of Private Drive's shit, Ron." Harry said through gasps. Ron got a disgusted look on his face. Through his despair, Ron began to bang his head off of the steering wheel. "Ya' know, Ron if you do that for an hour you could burn 150 calories." Ron looked up at Harry all the while banging his head off of the wheel, "No, Harry, that's if you bang your head off of a wall." "No, Ron, it's diffidently a steering wheel." Ron let out a false cough that sounded a lot like, "Wall" "Steering wheel!"
"Wall!"
"Steering wheel!"
"Wall!"
"Steering Wheel!"
"Wall!"
They went on like this for a good while as traffic slowly inched along the road. Finally, after several hours Ron and Harry reached the Burrow. Everything seemed normal, well as normal as a family of extremely poor wizards could be. But the normality existed strictly on the out side of the house, on the inside; well we just won't go there yet.
---
Ashley- I hope you all liked my story. I tried to make each character something they'd never be or didn't act like. Take the Dursley's for instance; they WERE the most normal people around, till I got a hold of them. Lol. Please review, even if you don't like it. I will except ideas and I may want a co-writer later in the story. If you would be interested in co writing email me at aero89ein@hotmail.com Mind you, I MAY want a co- writer, so that means just cause you want to I might not. I dunno, we'll see.
