What She Couldn't Say

"Ziva!" Tony ran to catch up to her in the parking lot that night.

"Yes, Tony." Ziva didn't turn as she inserted the key to her car and unlocked the door.

"We need to talk," Tony panted as he came to a stop behind her.

Ziva sighed as she turned to face him, "About what?"

"About what happened in the elevator today."

Ziva felt a sting of regret as she recalled that conversation from earlier. She realized now that he had been talking about pretending not to know what was going on in NCIS, while she was talking about something altogether different. She could only hope that he didn't realize what she had meant.

"Look, Tony, if you would prefer that I not tell anyone of your behavior I won't." She turned to open the door of her car but was stopped when he stretched an arm out in front of her and held the door shut.

"Tony, if you want to keep that arm, I suggest that you move it."

For the first time, Tony didn't move. He didn't know why he was risking it, but part of him knew she would never hurt him. He was calling her bluff and prayed that he was right.

Slowly, Ziva turned to face him. "What Tony?"

He bent his head slightly so he was more on her level. "That wasn't what I was talking about."

He wanted to know what she was tired of pretending. He thought he knew, but he couldn't be sure. Maybe it was just him hoping it was something more, but he had to know for sure. Her answer could change everything but it could change nothing. One thing he knew for sure though was he wasn't leaving until he knew.

"What are you talking about then, Tony?"

Ziva knew. She knew exactly what he was talking about. He wanted to know what she had really meant. He wanted to talk about the unspoken that had passed between them in that elevator today. What she had said without speaking.

Tony took a deep breath and went for it. "What are you tired of pretending?"

She knew she had to lie. There was no way that she could tell Tony the truth. He couldn't know. She couldn't say it.

"I was talking about pretending I didn't know that we were being lied to all the time." She saw the look in his eyes. He knew she was lying to him but he wasn't going to push it.

Tony knew she was lying. She might be a trained assassin but she couldn't lie to him. It was written all over her face. Something was in her eyes though. Something that she was pretending she didn't want him to see. It was buried. Deep beneath the front she put up every day to make people think she was tough. He stared long and hard at her, and watched as she let that front down and showed him what was on the inside.

It hit him like a wall of bricks. The wind was knocked out of him and he felt like he couldn't breathe. He did the only thing that made sense to him. He removed his arm from her door and stepped back. He knew then he had been right. He knew what she was really tired of pretending.

Ziva knew the second he had figured it out. She hadn't planned on letting him know, but when he was looking at her like that she lost her sense of reason. It was obvious that he was looking straight into her soul and for some reason she couldn't explain, she let him see all of it. She let her wall down and showed Tony DiNozzo what was on the inside.

She didn't know what she expected him to do, but she knew that she wasn't expecting him to let her go. The second he stepped back she knew she had made a mistake. Slowly, she turned around and got into her car. No matter how strong the urge was she didn't look back at him as she drove away. She knew that if she looked she would see him standing there.

They both knew. They both knew that even though they were tired of pretending, they would continue to do so. At least for now.