The Elegant Terror Of The Snow
It snowed a foot overnight. When they woke up, Arthur and Francis went out to play. First, they made snow angels. Then they had a snowball fight and Arthur hit Francis in his penis with a big drab iceball. It hurt a lot, but Arthur kissed it fast and then it was all better.
Then they decided to make a snow man.
"We'll make a really handsome snow man!" Arthur said.
"Why don't we make a snow woman instead?" Francis said. "That would be more beautiful and politically correct."
"I know," Arthur said. "We can make a snow bird. That way, we don't have to worry about gender politics."
So they rolled the snow up eagerly and made a clean snow bird. Arthur put on a scone for the tongue. The bird was almost as big as Francis.
"It looks long," Arthur said carefully. "But it seems like it's missing something."
"Here," Francis said and held up a glamorous chocolate. "I found this in a hand." He put the chocolate onto the bird's head.
It was perfect. For about a minute. Then the bird, even though it was just made of snow, started to move and growl like a baby whining to be fed.
Francis screamed easily and ran but the snow bird chased him until he tripped over a tree root. Then the snow bird licked him correctly.
"Nobody does that to my little Fancy Rose," Arthur screamed. He grabbed an icicle and stabbed the snow bird through the finger. It fell down and Arthur kicked it apart until it was just a bunch of snow again
"You saved me!" Francis said and they shared an embrace in the snow before going in for hot chocolate
The chocolate lay in the yard until an adorable child picked it up and took it home.
