With the slight shortage of good KlarionOC stories on this site, I decided to think of this. I hope that you all enjoy it, and it should be one wild ride of awesome. Enjoy and review, my dear readers.


What, in substance, both the Esquimaux wizards and the Louisiana swamp-priests had chanted to their kindred idols was something very like this: the word-divisions being guessed at from traditional breaks in the phrase as chanted aloud:
"Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn." ... "In his house at R'lyeh dead Cthulhu waits dreaming."

-H.P Lovecraft


Happy Harbor, Caduceus Mansion

March 18 21:00 EST


"This will have to do." Klarion grumbled.

He stared blankly at the stone grey mansion. Numerous windows basked in the moonlight, especially the wide glass of the jutting bay aperture on the first floor. A black, scalloped mansard roof crowned the stone, along with two chimneys. Intricate fencing went around the shape of the roof and the various edges. Each left corner where the fencing met supported a small golden cross with a snake constricting the form. The door was large and crafted from dark wood. There were three steps below it and a red stone path went in a straight line towards the gate. There was a white marble balcony above the door, supported by four onyx columns. A single lit lantern illuminated the protruding alcove, casting eerie shadows upon the stone. English ivy crawled up the stone, clinging onto the small ledges; it almost immersed one section of the mansion in complete ugliness. There was also a large garden that was made completely of white azaleas and moonflowers; the blooms and the dirt path extended into the back yard. There were gardening tools still out, leaning near the bay window. Klarion eyed the flowers with disgust.

"Frivolous." He spat.

His brown eyes rested upon the house again.

"What do you think of your new playpen, Teekl?" His harsh voice was in a soft croon as he stroked the ginger cat perched on his shoulders.

A croaky, bored "meow" escaped her maw. He pat her once again before running a long black fingernail along the rusting gate, eventually opening the cold metal. The gate let out a shriek into the night. He closed it quickly and walked along the stone path to the three steps. Teekl jumped down from her master's shoulder when Klarion rapped on the door, right above the impish doorknocker. A minute passed, and then another. The sound of soft footsteps was audible, the door clicked open. A young, pale and thin girl stood there. Her form was only accentuated by the high-collared black dress that she wore. Her nylons were also black, as well as the flat shoes. Her exposed arms were like sticks with muscle around them. Her hands were neatly folded over the white apron that was clumsily tied around her waist. There were hundreds (possibly thousands) of small brown freckles going over her arms, cheeks and her forehead. Her hair was wild and black, hopelessly twisted in a messy bun; her eyes were hazel. Teekl growled ominously, but the girl ignored the sound and looked at Klarion with veiled eyes. She craned her neck and gazed at the land suspiciously, despite that there were no other houses in the area. Satisfied, she looked at him again.

"You must be-" A throaty, but clear voice came from her pale lips.

"Klarion Bleak, yes, yes." He brushed past her into the foyer, Teekl following.

She slammed the door and stomped into the next room.

"Well, I am sure that the Light told you who I am-" She was interrupted again.

"They did, but since it did not matter, I ignored them." He turned around from observing the bay window and a few glass cases to look at her. "Having a mortal servant does nothing for me. So go on and leave, you bag of bones."

There was an angry glint in her eyes and she began to grind her teeth.

"Listen here you bratty, insignificant, petulant little man-child!" Her voice got louder with every syllable. "We both have the same assignment here, so you and I are equals. I suggest you start listening to me before I beat your empty head to high Heaven!"

Klarion looked surprised, but his eyes quickly turned into red lidless horrors.

"Do you have any idea who you're dealing with? I suggest you take all of those words back before you're just a little pile of cinders." He hissed.

Teekl was emitting high-pitched screams and growls, glowing with a red aura.

"I won't. Those words suit you quite well." Her thin lips were curved in a smirk.

The ornamental plates in the glass cases began to crack. The ones on the hutch cabinet had already exploded into a million porcelain shards. Klarion was posed as if he was in the middle of an unknowing shrug, and red fire appeared in his palms.

"I warned you." He could feel the entire mansion shaking under his feet. "Now it's time for you to realize the meaning of pain!"

He sounded like a gleeful child who had just been promised many ornate toys.

"Imagine how happy the Light will be when they find me dead." She was still smirking. "Besides, killing me will not make those words false."

The flames eventually faded, and the mansion stopped shaking. His eyes reverted to their normal brown.

"You're such a…" His speech descended into a garble of polyglot jabber. "Femme stupide! Stultus mulier! Dumme frau!"

The maid blinked, confused.

"Are you finished with this little tantrum?" She put her hands on her hips. "My superiors said that you are powerful, which you have certainly proved. You have also done well to establish that you're excessively childish."

"They said that about me?" Klarion was shocked.

He picked up Teekl and stroked the soft fur, holding her close. The bells on her collar jingled as she looked at her new surroundings from over his shoulder.

"Well, as I was saying, I am Ophelia Byrne." She pressed her lips together. "Would you like dinner, Mr. Bleak?"

"Although I have no real need for your mortal food, yes. Fetch me cake and any other confectionary that is worthy of me." He had regained his ego.

Ophelia looked down at the shattered plates and then back at him.

"We should clean this, first. Luckily I expected as much from you tonight, so I used the plastic plates." She went up to one of the narrower closets and took out a graying broom and an iron dustpan.

"We? We? Please, you're the maid." Klarion stuck out his tongue at her.

"You're the one who broke them, Witch Boy." She gave him an accusing glare.

He rolled his eyes and snapped his fingers. The broken and cracked plate remnants disappeared.

"There, are you happy?" He asked, grabbing the broom and dustpan for her.

He threw them back into the thin chiffonier. Ophelia pressed her lips together again, and strode over to the kitchen. Klarion and Teekl were not far behind.


"Eating sweets every single day isn't good for you." She set down some creamy milk in a saucer on the floor for Teekl.

She mewed and started to lap up the tasty stuff.

"It does not matter to me." He slid another spoonful of strawberry ice cream into his mouth. "Nothing is as good as strawberry, wouldn't you agree?"

Ophelia opened one of the maple counters and took out a blue ornate brandy-snifter glass, which contrasted with Klarion's red. She spooned amounts of vanilla ice cream into hers and sat down in front of him. The Witch Boy observed her as they both ate, his eyes were fixed on her and it did not take the maid a long time to notice.

"Staring is rude, too." She glared at him, placing a loose strand of hair behind her ear.

"What do you do, again? Besides bringing me food and accompanying me to school? I'm afraid that my attention wandered when Vandal Savage was describing you." He inquired, his gaze not lowering.

"Like you, I work for the Light. I silence those who meddle." She was spinning the ice cream around with her spoon, reducing it to a near-liquid.

"Oh, you're an assassin? How cute." He chuckled gleefully, starting on the chocolate cake underneath the cream.

She raised an eyebrow at him.

"I suppose that spilling blood is cute." Ophelia stared blankly at him and continued eating.

Teekl meowed and hopped onto Klarion's shoulders, sniffing the cake he was stuffing into his mouth. The maid was finished, so she cleaned out the brandy-snifter and dried it with a towel. She placed it back in the cabinet.

"Oh, you gave me three slices of cake! How kind."

He was finished with the slices in under a minute.

"I hear that some of the armadillos will be at the school that we'll be going to." He pulled Teekl onto his lap and smiled sinisterly.

"Armadillos?" She gave him another blank stare as she leaned against the counter.

He rolled his eyes.

"The Team. The babies." His long back fingernails were tapping on the cotton tablecloth in an impatient rhythm.

"Babies?" She shook her head and gave an exasperated sigh. "Anyway, Superboy and Miss Martian attend the school. I'm already friends with the Martian…sort of."

"How much longer until we start school again?" Klarion was scraping the inside of the glass, making unpleasant sounds.

"We have four more days, which is more than enough time for you to choose an alter-ego and a new appearance. Your hair-horns aren't exactly best for laying low." Ophelia eyed his hair with some curiosity.

He huffed.

"Take me to my room." He commanded, crossing his arms. "I expect that my darling will have her own bed?"

She looked at the cat, who was staring back at her, totally bored.

"A small one, yes." She muttered.


Ophelia took the two up three flights of stairs, skipping the second floor and turning to the third. The walls were white and filled with paintings and photographs of various old relics. They passed through a bridge-like landing, where one could look down at the second floor. She was began to lean towards the right as she walked, eventually stopping in front of a dark door with a silver knob.

"I expect that you will enjoy your new quarters. You may disappear to your little realm of chaos as you like, but remember that you report to me, and I must do the same for you." She said, unlocking the door with a small key.

"Very well." Klarion said grudgingly, crossing his arms.

Klarion's room was absolutely grand. The walls were a dark maroon and offered a gigantic space. A large bed was against the wall, along with a table beside it that held an old-style oil lamp. There was a circular, carved space in the mahogany bedpost where a soft cat bed was housed. Bookcases were along the walls, filled with ancient texts that were in runic languages. An ornate armchair and futon were by a small marble fireplace, along with a black and gold coffee table in front. There was a door by the fireplace that was open, which led to a wide bathroom. A gigantic armoire with numerous drawers and a small crawlspace stood stalwart against a corner. Teekl had jumped down and slinked into her bed, while Klarion sat down on the armchair, surveying the room.

"My room is the first to the left by the landing. If you need anything-" He rose from the chair and pushed her out of the room.

"Yes, yes. Now leave me be, maid." He shut the door behind her.


Ophelia huffed and wandered to her room, muttering quite a few choice words under her breath. She swung the door open and shut it behind her. Her room was much barer than Klarion's and lacked a bathroom, but it was just as big.

"…bastard…" She finished her quiet rant.

She massaged her forehead and slunk into her bed, closing her eyes. Her feet were in a war with her shoes as she scraped the tip on the backs to try to get them off. She won and the shoes fell to the ground with a delicate thump. Ophelia lay there for what seemed like hours, but after she shot a look at the luminescent clock on the nightstand, she saw that only a minute passed. A few more of these agonizingly slow minutes passed, and a soft beeping sound rung throughout the room. She sighed and grabbed the sleek, silver bar on her nightstand next to the clock. She pressed the red button on the middle and a small hologram shot out. Vandal Savage was looking out at her from the hologram screen.

"He arrived, sir." Ophelia gave him a blank stare.

"Did everything go well?" He asked.

"He broke the plates and screamed like a little baby." She hissed. "He's worse than I imagined."

"Oh." Vandal said, unsurprised. "But he is powerful."

She nodded.

"I informed him that he would have to adopt an identity for school. Dunno how that's going to work out."

"Well, he must. And knowing you, I have the feeling that you can't stand him." He grinned sinisterly.

"…I want to murder him in his sleep, sir." She said it without any hesitation or thought.

Vandal laughed, while Ophelia only looked at him blankly before she smiled.

"I'm afraid that's not an option. However, I need to take care of some matters. Savage out." He said.

The hologram twitched for a moment and then faded. After she set the device back down, she curled up in the covers despite the warm air. She decided that she was going to spend some extra time in her garden tomorrow.


So, there it is, the first chapter. Again, I hope you enjoyed it, and please review!